Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bike, car, check, child, classic, companion, couple, dad, destination, father, flowers, funds, funny, goodness, granny, highway, hilarious, humor, husband, jokes, journey, language, laughter, license, model, money, morning, mother, mother-in-law, neighbor, neighborhood, parents, partner, phone, plant, plants, road, smiles, sound, spouse, tour, traffic, travel, trip, vehicle, voice, wife, words
A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began
to yell and scream,
“Where did you get that car?”
He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”
“With what money?” demanded his parents.
We know what a Porsche costs..”
“Well,” said the! boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.”
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Mar 31 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, alcohol, bar, beer, bike, car, champagne, cop, drugs, drunk, fashion, fool, funny, gin, hilarious, home, House, humor, idiot, jail, jokes, laughter, license, money, moron, neighbor, officer, party, patrolman, pharmacist, pharmacy, police, policeman, pub, restaurant, robber, rum, sandwich, scotch, sheriff, smiles, spring, stupid, tequila, traffic, trooper, vehicle, vodka, wine
HE DOESN’T KNOW JACK
A carjacker upset by his noisy neighbors in Bonita Springs, Fla., drove to the sheriff’s office in a car he had recently carjacked to report the disturbance.
…
JUST HANGING OUT
A man entered a sandwich shop in Hendersonville, N.C., wearing a mask over his face and a pair of very baggy pants. When he tried to get to the cash register, he fell over a counter, then ran out of the restaurant empty-handed. Then, as he tried to climb over a fence, his baggy pants got caught on a fence post, leaving him hanging upside down until the police arrived and unsnagged him.
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Jan 23 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: actions, attitude, behavior, bike, birthday, child, church, dinner, funny, gift, hilarious, home, House, humor, jokes, journey, laughter, letter, Little Bobby, man, Mathematics, mother, needs, parent, pastor, preacher, present, priest, road, school, sermon, smiles, Sunday, time, travel, vehicle, woman
Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
“Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.” Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.
Bobby’s mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday.
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Nov 08 2008
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: advice, age, ant, ants, art, artist, attorney, bank, belief, bike, birth, birthday, boss, bra, butterfly, cemetery, check, christmas, cloud, clouds, college, communication, companion, cop, court, dad, destination, doctor, duty, education, embrace, era, eyes, faith, family, father, Father's Day, finance, finger, fingers, flowers, food, fool, friends, friendship, funds, ghost, God, government, granny, grown ups, hand, hands, healing, heart, hero, highway, history, hug, hugs, humanity, ice, idiot, inspiration, job, journey, judge, justice, kisses, labor, language, laughter, law, lawyer, letter, life, lifestyle, lifetime, light, love, manager, money, morning, moron, mother, Mother's Day, mother-in-law, movie, nurse, obituary, officer, partner, party, path, patrolman, period, physician, play, police, pool, power, price, Professor, rain, rainbow, reading, reward, road, rose, roses, rules, Santa, Santa Claus, Saturday, sex, sheriff, show, sleep, smiles, snow, sound, specialist, star, stupid, supervisor, surgeon, task, teacher, team, thought, ticket, time, tips, touch, tour, traffic, train, travel, treats, trip, trooper, tuition, tutor, vampire, vehicle, vision, voice, water, wealth, wishes, words, work, youth
FOOD FOR THOUGHT passed on by a dear friend.
Something absolutely positive for a change.
…
I have repeatedly seen the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I have seen the rewards listed this way. It’s nice, The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn’t even touch college tuition. But $160,140 isn’t so bad if you break it down. It translates into: Read More
Oct 10 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, baby, bike, children, companion, diamonds, dreams, drugs, family, friends, friendship, funny, gold, hands, health, hilarious, humor, jewelry, jokes, laughter, letter, license, life, mail, mother, neighbor, partner, passion, ring, school, smiles, time, vehicle
A mother enters her daughter’s bedroom and sees a letter on the wall over the bed. With the worst premonition, she reads it, with trembling hands:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend. I found real passion and he is so nice, with all his piercings and tattoos and his big motorcycle.
But is not only that Mom, I’m pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s one of my dreams. I’ve learned that marijuana doesn’t hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it for us and his friends, who are providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we may want.
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Oct 02 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: actress, athlete, bike, cemetery, companion, eggs, France, fruit, fruits, funny, ghost, hairstyle, hilarious, humor, jokes, language, laughter, lexiogram, man, marriage, memory, money, morning, partner, phone, reading, recipe, smies, time, woman, words
1. A bicycle can’t stand alone because it is two-tired.
2. What’s the definition of a will? It’s a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
5. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
6. If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
7. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
8. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
9. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully
recovered.
10. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result
in Linoleum Blownapart.
11. He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the
key.
12. A lot of money is tainted. ‘Taint yours and ‘taint mine.
13. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
14. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
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Sep 23 2008