Once upon a time there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, he adored them, he yearned for them. But they always caused him a great deal of embarrassment shortly after eating them.
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One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he realized she might be even more embarrassed and humiliated by his addiction to baked beans. He decided to make the supreme sacrifice and give up his beloved baked beans. A short time later they were married.
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Some months later, on his way home from work, his car broke down. He was not too far from home so he decided to leave the car and walk the rest of the way. He passed a small roadside cafe and decided to call his wife and tell her that he would be late for supper. As he entered the cafe, the smell of baked beans overwhelmed him. He still had several miles to go, and decided that he could walk off any after-effects before reaching home. Before he knew it, he had eaten three large plates of baked beans. Even as he left the cafe, the effects began to be felt. He pooted up a hill, and poot-pooted down the other side. As he grew closer to home, the frequency and forcefulness diminished greatly, and he felt reasonably safe.
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Just as he reached his home, however, he felt a great rumbling inside and was seized with a terrible urgency. As he waited just outside his front door to release one last effort, his wife threw open the door. She excitedly exclaimed, “Darling, I have made the most wonderful surprise dinner for you.”
She blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the table. Just as she was ready to remove the blindfold, the phone rang. She made him promise not to peek until she returned and went to answer the phone.
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When she had gone, he seized the opportunity, shifted his weight to one leg and loudly broke wind. It was not only loud, but as ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he took his napkin
and began to fan the air about him. He just started feeling better when he felt another urge. He again raised one leg and let her rip. It sounded like a tuba and smelled so bad that he started gagging. He fanned until his arms ached. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another powerful
Jamaican beauty, “Miss World 1976″, Cindy Breakspeare, as she appeared on the cover of the Miss World 1977 Souvenir Program
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Jazz musician and Miss World 1976 Cindy Breakspeare is the mother of Bob Marley’s son Damian Robert Nesta “Junior Gong” Marley (born July 21, 1978 in Kingston, Jamaica). He grew up to become a three time Grammy-winning reggae artist.
Stunning Cindy Breakspeare in official “Miss World” regalia in 1976
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Elegant Cindy Breakspeare attending “Miss World 50th Anniversary” in London, 2000
Damian Robert Nesta “Junior Gong” Marley (born July 21, 1978), is a reggae artist, a humanitarian, and the youngest son of the late reggae legend Bob Marley. He has won three Grammy awards.
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Damian was two years old when his father died; he is the only child born to Marley and Cindy Breakspeare, Miss World 1976. Damian’s nickname Junior Gong is derived from his father’s nickname of Tuff Gong. Damian has been performing since the age of 13. He shares, along with most of the Marley family, a full-time career in music. Unlike his brothers and sisters, however, his musical specialty is “toasting”, a Jamaican vocal technique that is a predecessor to rapping.
Personal life and beliefs
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Born as Damian Marley, he was nicknamed “Jr. Gong” in honor of his legendary father, Bob “Tuff Gong” Marley. He has 13-half siblings total; 11 on his father’s side and 2 on his mother’s side. Damian was only two years old when his father died, killed by the spread of melanoma to his
In the 31 years since his untimely death, Marley still remains the most-popular figure in Reggae music. Succumbing to cancer at age 36 in 1981, Marley had become a global ambassador for the music he helped make famous.
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Marley’s passing shook the reggae and music community to its core; yet, his legacy remains intact through his timeless music catalog and talented children.
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Marley was born in the village of Nine Mile in Saint Ann Parish in Jamaica (also the birthplace of Marcus Garvey). Marley’s father was a white Jamaican man of English descent and his mother was a native of Jamaica. Discovering music as a teenager, Marley befriended Neville “Bunny” Livingston (aka Bunny Wailer) who shared his dreams of becoming a musician. Through singer Joe Higgs, the pair met Peter McIntosh (aka Peter Tosh) who also had similar ambitions. Recording his first songs in 1962, Marley and his friends would eventually be renamed The Wailers, after being discovered by a local record producer.
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Marrying Rita Anderson (now Marley) in 1966, Marley and his bride made a sojourn to the United States to live near his mother in Wilmington, De. Marley soon teamed up with American singer Johnny Nash (“I Can See Clearly Now”) and nabbed a deal with CBS Records. Marley and the Wailers went on tour with Nash before their label deal went sour and the band ended up stranded in London in 1972. From there, Marley contacted Island Records’ founder Chris Blackwell and was advanced funds to record the hit album “Catch A Fire.”
Shortly after the release of their major-label debut, Bunny Wailer and Peter Tosh went their
If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.
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Dear Diary,
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For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 40 something years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
. MONDAY:
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I started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blonde hair,dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!
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TUESDAY:
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I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda’s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It’s a whole new life for me.
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WEDNESDAY:
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The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the Hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.
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THURSDAY:
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Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl I couldn’t help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was
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Mar 08 2012
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