Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: age, bishop, cemetery, church, culture, custom, dialect, elderly, era, funny, ghost, hilarious, history, humor, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, language, laughter, life, lifestyle, lifetime, man, marriage, minister, obituary, others, pastor, patois, period, pope, preacher, priest, reverend, seniors, sermon, short, smiles, time, touch, vernacular, wedding, woman, words
.
Mi hate when mi go a weddin and di ol’ people dem a
jook mi inna mi side an seh
“a yuh nex, a yuh nex”.
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May 08 2012
Posted: under "A Scripture A Day Keeps The Devil Away", "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something".
Tags: advice, aid, assistance, assurance, belief, Bible, bishop, blessings, blood, burden, Christ, Christian, Christianity, Christians, comfort, Comforter, country, courage, cross, cure, day, depression, devil, earth, encouragement, English, experience, faith, force, forgiveness, global, globe, God, healing, holiness, hymn, inspiration, Jesus, land, language, life, lifestyle, lifetime, load, Lord, love, lovingkindness, man, might, minister, movement, others, pain, pastor, pencil, play, pope, power, prayer, preacher, priest, promise, protection, psalm, Redeemer, refuge, reverend, rivers, safety, salvation, satan, Savior, scripture, security, shape, shapes, shepherd, sin, sins, size, source, storm, stream, strength, stress, struggles, thought, tips, trust, truth, universe, voice, water, weight, woman, words, world, worries, worry
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The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer;
my God, my strength, in whom I will trust;
my buckler, and the horn of my salvation,
and my high tower.
– (Psalm 18:2)
..
The story is told of a young preacher named Augustus Toplady who was taking a walk through the English countryside when a sudden storm swept across the landscape. Toplady spotted a wide rock formation with an opening; a cleft where he sought shelter until the storm passed. As he sat out the deluge, he contemplated the connection between his shelter and God’s help in life’s storms.
..
He had no paper to write on but found a playing card on the floor of the cave-like structure and began to write the words of the hymn “Rock of Ages”. Written on that stormy day in 1775, this hymn has been a source of strength for Christians ever since.
..
Rock of ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee;
Let the water and the blood,
From Thy wounded side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure,
Save from wrath and make me pure.
..
Think of your struggles.
Do you need a place to hide?
Do you need Someone to shelter you from life’s assaults?
Do you need the assurance that you’ve been forgiven?
..
As Toplady experienced, we can find shelter and assurance in God.
Don’t stand out in life’s storms alone.
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Apr 26 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bishop, church, eyes, funny, gospel, hand, hands, hilarious, humor, jokes, language, laughter, man, Mathematics, minister, pastor, pope, preacher, priest, reading, reverend, scripture, sermon, short, show, sin, sins, smiles, Sunday, understanding, woman, words
.
A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about
the sin of lying.
.
To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.”
.
The following Sunday the minister asked for a show of hands to
indicate
how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: airline, airlines, airplane, airport, attendant, bishop, cab, captain, car, celebrity, Chief, choice, cop, destination, earth, East Coast, flight, Florida, funny, global, globe, government, governor, highway, hilarious, humor, Jesus, jet, jokes, journey, land, language, laughter, license, light, limo, man, minister, mirror, moment, movement, noise, North Coast, northcoast, officer, passenger, pastor, patrolman, phone, pilot, plane, police, pope, preacher, president, priest, radio, reverend, road, sheriff, sign, smiles, sound, taxi, tour, travel, trip, trooper, universe, vehicle, voice, words, world
.
Ride To The Airport
====================
.
Billy Graham had just finished a tour of the Florida East Coast
and was taking a limousine to the airport.
.
Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could
drive for a while. The chauffeur didn’t really have much of a
choice, so he got in the back of the limo and Rev. Graham took
the wheel.
.
He turned onto I-95 and accelerated to about 90 MPH.
.
Soon the blue lights of the State Highway Patrol flashed in his
rearview mirror.
.
He pulled over and a trooper came to his window.
.
When the trooper saw who it was, he said,
“Just a moment, please, I need to call in.”
.
The trooper radioed in and asked for the chief.
.
He said, “I have a REALLY important person pulled over and I
need to know what to do.”
.
The chief replied, “Who is it, I hope not Ted Kennedy?”
The trooper said, “No, even more important.”
.
“It isn’t the Governor, Jeb Bush, is it?” asked the chief.
.
“No, even more important,” replied the trooper.
.
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Apr 15 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, attention, bar, beer, bishop, brandy, champagne, church, decision, devil, drunk, evil, exam, example, eyes, focus, funny, gin, Heaven, hell, hilarious, humor, jokes, language, laughter, legs, liquor, listening, man, minister, noise, others, pastor, perception, pope, preacher, priest, pub, quiz, reverend, rum, satan, scotch, sermon, sleep, smiles, sound, Sunday, surprise, tequila, test, vodka, voice, vote, voter, whiskey, wine, wishes, woman, words
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A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the
Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling hung
over and tired, he finally nods off.
.
The priest has been watching him all along, noticing his
apparent hangover and is disgusted. At the end of the sermon,
the preacher decides to make an example of him.
.
He says to his congregation, “All those wishing to have a place
in heaven, please stand.”
.
The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man.
.
Then the preacher says even more loudly, “And he who would like
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Feb 23 2012
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life".
Tags: action, attitude, behavior, belief, Bible, bishop, character, child, example, faith, family, friends, friendship, God, inspiration, language, life, love, man, minister, morals, mother, parent, pastor, personality, pope, preacher, priest, respect, reverend, role model, scripture, smiles, trust, values, woman, words
.
There were four clergymen who were discussing the merits of the various translations of the Bible.
..
One liked the King James Version because of its simple, beautiful English.
..
Another liked the American Revised Version best because it is more literal and came nearer to the original Hebrew and Greek.
..
Still another liked Moffat’s translation because of its up-to-date vocabulary.
..
The fourth minister was silent. When asked to express his opinion, he replied, “I like my mother’s translation best.”
..
Mar 11 2011