Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: April Fool's Day, boss, coffee, computer, employee, fool, fun, funny, funtime, hilarious, humor, idiot, internet, job, jokes, laughter, man, manager, online, pranks, restaurant, smiles, task, television, woman, work
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- Ring your friend before he / she goes to work and say ” I’m so sorry to hear you got fired ! ” – Act surprised they didn’t know yet.
- Wet a tissue with milk and run around holding the tissue to your eye pretending you stuck your pen in your eye, when somebody comes close, squeeze the tissue to make the Milk spurt out all over the place.
- Place Cling-film over the toilet seat – an old prank but a good one !
- Ring your friend and pretend to be from the local GPs office. Tell them they might have Newcastles Disease ( a chicken disease – don’t tell them that ).
- Sign somebody up to an embarrasing email newsletter.
- Go around the office and tell random people that a particular person (e.g. your friend) wanted them to drop over at 11am – they will be surprised when 50 people drop around to their cubicle at once.
- Start a rumour that your company is being taken over and loads of staff will be made redundant. Watch the onset of panic.
- Put loads of Pencil (scribble and really build up the graphite) on a piece of paper and then rub around the eye and upper jaw. Then go around the office and say you were hit beacuse you didn’t get the report in on time.
- Advertise your bosses job in the local newspsper – (Great if you want to get fired !).
- Get a universal remote control and turn the volume up on all the TVs in your local TV shop, while standing nearby. Try be covert so you can keep doing it.
- If you are a manager or have employees under you, send people looking for made up items such as the dehydrated water, the hydraulic cement humidifier, the double sided transperencies, a fallopian tube, the blunt knife, a glass hammer.
- If you work in a restaurant, tell all employees that due to new fiar trade regulations, each serving of fries or chips must contain exactly 257 pieces.
- Read More
Apr 01 2010
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bank, boss, check, color, colors, duty, employee, employer, funds, funny, holiday, humor, job, jokes, labor, laughter, manager, money, smiles, supervisor, task, work
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A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
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‘Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.’
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Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s okay, he knows the bank manager.
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Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
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The frog says, ‘Sure. I have this,’ and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
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Very confused, Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: boss, check, duty, employee, employer, experience, funds, funny, goodness, hilarious, job, jokes, labor, manager, money, salesman, task, wife, work
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A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big “everything under one roof” department store looking for a job. The Manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”
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The kid says,”Yeah. I was a salesman back in North Dakota.” Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and See how you did.” His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.
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After the store was locked up the boss came down. “How many customers bought something from you today? The kid says, “One”.
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The boss says, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?” The kid says, “$101,237.65″.
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The boss says, “$101,237.65?” What the heck did you sell?” The kid says, “First I sold him a
Read More
Mar 17 2010
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: , ability, boss, carpenter, changes, God, inspiration, job, life, performance, purpose, task, tools, wishes, work
Brother Hammer served as the chairman. The other members of the tool belt informed him that he must leave, because he was too noisy. But brother Hammer said, “If I have to leave this carpenter’s shop, then brother Gimlet must go too. He’s insignificant and makes a very small impression.” (A gimlet is a small tool with a screw point, grooved shank, and a cross handle for boring holes).
Little brother Gimlet arose and said, “All right, but brother Screwdriver must go also. You have to turn him around and around to get anywhere with him.”
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Brother Screwdriver turned to the other tools in the belt and said, “If you wish, I will go, but brother Plane must leave too. All of his work is on the surface; there’s no depth to what he does.”
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To this brother Plane leveled his terse reply, “Well, then, brother Saw will have to depart too. The changes he proposes always cut too deep.”
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Brother Saw complained, saying, “Brother Ruler will have to withdraw if I leave, for he’s
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: airline, boss, check, choice, duty, flight, funds, funny, guitar, hilarious, humor, job, jokes, laughter, link, manager, money, music, plane, smiles, task, ticket, tool, tools, video, work
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This is funny . . . actually hysterical:
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A musician named Dave Carroll recently had difficulty with United
Airlines. United apparently damaged his treasured Taylor guitar
($3500) during a flight. Dave spent over 9 months trying to get
United to pay for damages caused by baggage handlers to his custom
Taylor guitar. During his final exchange with the United Customer
Relations Manager, he stated that he was left with no choice other
than to create a music video for youtube exposing their lack of
cooperation. The Manager responded : “Good luck with that one, pal”.
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Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "YUMMY FOOD FOR THOUGHT", Inspirationals.
Tags: accident, belief, blessings, boss, computer, decision, duty, employee, employer, faith, family, friends, honor, inspiration, internet, Jesus, job, life, Lord, love, man, manager, need, needs, neighbor, online, others, peace, power, prayer, psalm, smiles, source, supervisor, task, television, woman, work
The Lord is my real Boss, and I shall not want.
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He gives me peace, when chaos is all around me.
He gently reminds me to pray and do all things without murmuring and complaining.
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He reminds me that He is my Source and not my employer.
He restores my sanity everyday and guides my decisions that I might honor Him in all that I do.
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Even though I face absurd amounts of e-mails, system crashes, unrealistic deadlines, budget cutbacks, gossiping co-workers, discriminating