Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, attorney, bar, beer, brandy, Bubba, champagne, court, food, funny, gin, health, hilarious, humor, jokes, judge, laughter, law, lawyer, man, redneck, restaurant, rules, rum, scotch, sleep, smiles, tequila, whiskey, wine, woman
Somewhere in the deep South, Bubba called an attorney and asked, “Is it true they’re suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?”
“Yes, Bubba, that is true.”
“And people are suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries … is that true, mister lawyer?”
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Jun 20 2009
Posted: under General Poetry.
Tags: account, age, aid, air, alcohol, America, American, bank, beer, belief, brandy, cemetery, champagne, check, children, contribution, cow, designer, dictionary, dinner, dog, duty, earth, era, eyes, faith, family, fashion, fish, fishing, food, funds, gas, ghost, gin, global, globe, government, granny, highway, history, home, hope, House, humor, job, labor, land, language, laughter, license, life, lifestyle, lifetime, liquor, marriage, money, mother, mother-in-law, nation, nut, nuts, obituary, pants, parent, period, phone, politics, road, rum, school, scotch, security, service, smiles, snack, snacks, style, tablecloth, task, taxes, tequila, time, treats, universe, vehicle, vodka, water, wealth, whiskey, wine, words, work, world
Tax his land, Tax his bed, Tax the table At which he’s fed.
Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes Are the rule.
Tax his work, Tax his pay, He works for peanuts Anyway!
Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his pants, Tax his coat.
Tax his ties, Tax his shirt, Tax his work, Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink, Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his cigars, Tax his beers, If he cries, then tax his tears.
Tax his car, Tax his gas, Find other ways To tax his ass.
Tax all he has Then let him know, That you won’t be done till he has no dough.
..
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Apr 24 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, alcohol, bar, beer, brandy, butt, champagne, dance, drunk, elderly, fool, funny, gin, gun, horse, humor, idiot, jokes, laughter, lesson, lessons, man, pub, rectum, rum, scotch, seniors, smiles, stupid, tequila, tool, tools, whiskey, wine
An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.
As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, ‘Hey old man, have you ever danced?’
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Apr 17 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, bar, beer, brandy, cemetery, champagne, devil, drunk, funny, ghost, gin, hell, hilarious, humor, jokes, laughter, liquor, rum, satan, scotch, smiles, tequila, vodka, whiskey, wine
One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. Walking around, he runs into the devil.
Devil: Why are you so sad?
Guy: Why do you think? I’m in hell.
Devil: Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin’ man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Devil: Well you’re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Diet Tab. We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more.
Guy: Gee, that sounds great.
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Apr 03 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: air, alcohol, anger, arm, arms, bar, beer, birthday, brandy, cab, car, celebration, champagne, companion, couple, dance, dancer, destination, drunk, eyes, funny, gift, gin, highway, hilarious, humor, husband, jokes, journey, language, laughter, liquor, noise, partner, party, passenger, path, perception, present, prostitute, pub, road, rum, scotch, sign, smiles, sound, sports, spouse, storm, surprise, tablecloth, taxi, team, tequila, token, traffic, vehicle, vodka, voice, waitress, whiskey, whore, wife, wind, wine, words
A wife decided to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They arrived at the club and the doorman said, “Hey, Dave! How ya doin?“
His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before. “Oh! no,” said Dave.
“He’s on my bowling team.”
When they got seated, a waitress asked Dave if he’d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and said,”How did she know that you drink Budweiser?”
“She’s in the Ladies Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.”
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says “Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?”
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: bar, beer, boss, brandy, champagne, dialect, drunk, duty, employee, employer, experience, fish, fishing, funny, gin, highway, hilarious, home, House, humor, husband, Jamaica, Jamaican, job, jokes, journey, Kingston, labor, language, laughter, liquor, man, manager, office, patois, pub, road, rum, salesman, scotch, smiles, supervisor, task, tequila, tour, tourist, travel, trip, vernacular, vodka, whiskey, wife, wine, words, work
A young man from Jamaica moves to Miami and goes to a big Department
shopping complex looking for a job. The manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”
The Jamaican young man says. “Bossie, mi was a salesman back home on di streets a Kingston.”
Well, the boss liked him so he gave him the job. “You start tomorrow.
I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.”
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. “How many sales did you make today?”
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Jan 04 2009
