Posted: under "LOVE is LOVELY", Inspirationals.
Tags: age, agreement, aid, anxiety, assistance, bliss, bridge, burden, bus, car, care, cheer, choice, christmas, clinic, cold, companion, compassion, concern, couple, cross, depression, desire, doctor, duty, elderly, era, exam, experience, eyes, focus, goodness, gratitude, gynecologist, happiness, health, heart, highway, history, holiday, holidays, hospital, husband, ice, identification, inspiration, job, journey, joy, kindness, labor, legs, license, life, lifestyle, lifetime, load, love, man, medication, medicine, memory, mind, movement, music, nurse, ocean, offer, office, others, partner, passenger, path, period, physician, pill, pills, quiz, rivers, road, scripture, sea, seniors, sign, singer, size, smiles, space, specialist, spouse, stream, stress, struggles, surgeon, task, test, thankfulness, therapy, time, traffic, travel, treatment, trials, trip, vehicle, volunteer, water, weather, weight, wife, winter, woman, work, worries, worry
Doeth Good Like Medicine
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“A Merry heart doeth good like medicine.”
– Prov. 17:22 (KJV)
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Hospital volunteers do no clinical work. Volunteers have no physically therapeutic treatment of offer. They dispense no medicine. But we cannot deny that they demonstrate the merry hearts as spoken of in Proverbs 17:22. At the core of volunteering is the fervent desire to “doeth good like medicine.” Because I am privileged to experience a daily confirmation of the good done by volunteers, it is very difficult to choose one vignette or narrow the choices of stories to one.
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It was Christmas time and our elderly visitor was back to see her husband in the Intensive Care Unit. We had watched her daily visits, and could tell she was becoming more distant and distraught with each day. She was rather frail and unsteady on her feet, but refused any offer of assistance.
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Volunteer John approached her on her way out, to offer her a ride back to her car in our shuttle as it was cold. She accepted reluctantly, almost as if in resignation. While helping her into the shuttle,
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Mar 25 2012
Posted: under "LOVE is LOVELY", Inspirationals.
Tags: age, anxiety, appreciation, bank, beauty, belief, blessings, bliss, blossom, blossoms, body, breakfast, bridge, burden, bus, cancer, care, check, children, clinic, color, colors, compassion, concern, courage, cross, delight, depression, dinner, doctor, duty, elderly, era, exam, example, exercise, eyes, faith, family, favor, feeling, feelings, fish, fishing, flowers, food, friends, funds, garden, gift, God, granny, gratitude, grown ups, gynecologist, happiness, health, heart, Heaven, highway, home, hospital, House, humanity, husband, imagination, inspiration, job, journey, joy, knowledge, labor, language, laughter, learning, letter, life, lifestyle, lifetime, love, mail, man, memories, mind, moment, money, morning, mountain, movement, neighbor, noise, nurse, office, others, pain, passenger, path, patient, perception, period, physician, plant, plants, present, quiz, relaxation, rest, road, role model, seniors, size, skin, sleep, smiles, snack, snacks, son-in-law, soul, sound, specialist, spirit, strength, stress, success, sugar, summer, sunshine, support, surgeon, surprise, task, test, thankfulness, thought, time, token, travel, treatment, trials, trip, vegetable, vegetables, veggie, veggies, vehicle, voice, weight, wife, woman, wonder, words, work, worries, worry
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The Rented Room
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Our house was directly across the street from the clinic
entrance of Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. We lived
downstairs and rented the upstairs rooms to outpatients at the
clinic.
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One summer evening as I was fixing supper, there was a knock at
the door. I opened it to see a truly awful looking man.
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“Why, he’s hardly taller than my eight-year-old,” I thought as I
stared at the stooped, shriveled body. But the appalling thing
was his face, lopsided from swelling, red and raw.
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Yet his voice was pleasant as he said, “Good evening. I’ve come
to see if you’ve a room for just one night. I came for a
treatment this morning from the eastern shore, and there’s no
bus ’til morning.”
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He told me he’d been hunting for a room since noon but with no
success, no one seemed to have a room. “I guess it’s my face…
I know it looks terrible, but my doctor says with a few more
treatments…”
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For a moment I hesitated, but his next words convinced me,
“I could sleep in this rocking chair on the porch. My bus
leaves early in the morning.”
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I told him we would find him a bed, but to rest on the porch.
I went inside and finished getting supper. When we were ready,
I asked the old man if he would join us. “No thank you.
I have plenty.” And he held up a brown paper bag.
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When I had finished the dishes, I went out on the porch to talk
with him a few minutes. It didn’t take a long time to see that
this old man had an oversized heart crowded into that tiny body.
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He told me he fished for a living to support his daughter, her
five children, and her husband, who was hopelessly crippled from
a back injury.
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He didn’t tell it by way of complaint; in fact, every other
sentence was prefaced with a thanks to God for a blessing.
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He was grateful that no pain accompanied his disease, which was
apparently a form of skin cancer. He thanked God for giving him
the strength to keep going.
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At bedtime, we put a camp cot in the children’s room for him.
When I got up in the morning, the bed linens were neatly folded
and the little man was out on the porch.
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He refused breakfast, but just before he left for his bus,
haltingly, as if asking a great favor, he said,
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“Could I please come back and stay the next time I have a
treatment? I won’t put you out a bit. I can sleep fine in a
chair.” He paused a moment and then added, “Your children made
me feel at home. Grownups are bothered by my face, but children
don’t seem to mind.”
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I told him he was welcome to come again.
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And on his next trip he arrived a little after seven in the
morning. As a gift, he brought a big fish and a quart of the
largest oysters I had ever seen. He said he had shucked them
that morning before he left so that they’d be nice and fresh.
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I knew his bus left at 4:00 a.m., and I wondered what time he
had to get up in order to do this for us.
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In the years he came to stay overnight with us, there was never
a time that he did not bring us fish or oysters or vegetables
from his garden.
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Other times we received packages in the mail, always by special
delivery; fish and oysters packed in a box of fresh young
spinach or kale, every leaf carefully washed.
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Knowing that he must walk three miles to mail these and knowing
how little money he had made the gifts doubly precious.
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When I received these little remembrances, I often thought of a
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Mar 25 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes, Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: abroad, accident, Africa, age, air, alcohol, America, attorney, awards, bar, beaches, beer, brandy, breakfast, bus, car, champagne, check, cheer, clerk, cold, cop, court, destination, dinner, doctor, dumb, era, family, finger, fingers, fire, food, fool, foreign, friends, friendship, funds, funny, gas, gin, glory, health, hilarious, history, home, honor, hospital, hotel, House, humor, ice, idiot, insurance, jail, jokes, journey, judge, laughter, lawyer, letter, license, liquor, magic, mail, man, Mathematics, memory, money, moron, motel, New York, nurse, officer, passenger, path, patient, patrolman, period, photos, physician, police, pub, restaurant, road, robber, rum scotch, sheriff, short, smiles, snack, snacks, snow, specialist, stupid, surgeon, tequila, thief, ticket, time, tool, tools, traffic, train, travel, treats, trooper, vehicle, vodka, whiskey, wind, wine, winner, winter, woman, youth
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The Darwins are out !!!!
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Yes … it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
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Here is the glorious winner:
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1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
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And now, the honorable mentions:
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2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
finger. The chef’s claim was approved.
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3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
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4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable
and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3
days.
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5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
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6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives
you money, is a crime committed?]
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7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
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Feb 06 2012
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny and Hilarious Jokes, Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: age, belief, birthday, body, breakfast, bus, car, channel, cheer, child, church, coffee, courage, day, diamonds, diet, dinner, duty, encouragement, era, exercise, experience, faith, fool, funny, gift, global, globe, gratitude, gym, health, hilarious, history, humanity, humor, instruction, instructions, job, jokes, journey, labor, language, laughter, leg, legs, life, listening, message, morning, moron, mother, path, present, road, sandwich, Saturday, service, smiles, snack, snacks, sound, sport, strength, stupid, sugar, Sunday, surprise, task, tea, teacher, teeth, television, thankfulness, time, today, traffic, travel, treats, trip, truck, universe, vampire, vehicle, voice, weight, woman, words, work, world
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A WOMAN’S WEEK AT THE GYM
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If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.
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Dear Diary,
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For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 40 something years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
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MONDAY:
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I started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blonde hair,dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!
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TUESDAY:
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I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda’s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It’s a whole new life for me.
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WEDNESDAY:
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The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the Hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.
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THURSDAY:
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Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl I couldn’t help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was
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Nov 03 2011
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: accident, alcohol, attorney, bar, beer, bliss, bus, car, champagne, chance, check, cold, companion, couple, court, day, diet, drunk, eyes, family, funny, gin, hands, happiness, health, hilarious, home, House, humor, husband, ice, jokes, journey, joy, judge, language, laughter, lawyer, licence, license, liquor, man, Mathematics, money, morning, New York, partner, path, pub, rain, recipe, road, rum, scotch, season, short, smiles, snow, spouse, tequila, time, traffic, travel, truck, vehicle, vodka, weather, whiskey, wife, wine, winter, woman, words
Add a teaspoon of it
To your diet each day
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My sister said its so cold where she is
that she saw a lawyer with his hands
in his own pockets……..brrrrrrr!
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Its been said that 95% of drivers skidding on snow slickened roads say,
”Oh my God”. The other 5% are from Buffalo, NY and say,
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Oct 29 2011
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: anger, bus, car, children, fun, funny, funtime, hilarious, humor, jokes, journey, laughter, license, man, money, road, short, sign, smiles, travel, trip, truck, vehicle, woman
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A woman drove a mini-van filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign.
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“Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?” yelled an irate man.