Life Without Black People‏

Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW".
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Martin  Luther  King

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Share with your Children 

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Life Without Black People

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A very humorous and revealing story is told about a group of white people who were fed up with African Americans, so they joined together and wished themselves away. They passed through a deep dark tunnel and emerged in sort of a twilight zone where there is an America without black people. 

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At first these white people breathed a sigh of relief. 

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 ‘At last’, they said, ‘no more crime, drugs, violence and welfare.’ 

. All of the blacks have gone! Then suddenly, reality set in. The ‘NEW AMERICA’ is not America at all - only a barren land. Read More

Comments (0) Feb 07 2012

Darwin Awards for 2011

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes, Short Funny Jokes.
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The Darwins are out !!!!  

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Yes … it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are  
  bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. 

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  Here is the glorious winner: 

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  1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim    
  during a hold-up in Long Beach , California  would-be robber James      
  Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the    
  barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.   

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  And now, the honorable mentions:         

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  2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting    
  machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his    
  insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its  
  men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a  
  finger. The chef’s claim was approved.   

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  3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car      
  during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman  
  had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.  

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  4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver  
  found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting    
  from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his            
  incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone  
  waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the      
  mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable 
  and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3  
  days.      

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  5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head 
  wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the  
  injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close 
  he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

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  6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the        
  counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,    
  the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which  
  the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and    
  fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he  
  got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives    
  you money, is a crime committed?]    

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  7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that 
  he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some  
  booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his  

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Comments (0) Feb 06 2012

A MountainWings Moment - Don’t Mess with Mom‏

Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny Poetry, Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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Don’t Mess with Mom
====================


My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
He’d decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.

~*~ 


“Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that’s taught by Mr. Wright?
It’s all about the laws today,
The “Children’s Bill of Rights.”

~*~ 

It says I need not clean my room,
don’t have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.

 

~*~
 
I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don’t have to bow my head,
and I sure don’t have to pray.

 

~*~
 
I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
and get tattoos from head to toes.

 

~*~
 
And if you ever spank me,
I’ll charge you with the crime.
I’ll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.

 

~*~
 
Don’t you ever touch me,
my body’s only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that’s just more child abuse.

 

~*~
 
Don’t preach about your morals,
like your mama did to you.
That’s nothing more than mind control,

Read More

Comments (0) Dec 04 2011

The gym experience‏

Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny and Hilarious Jokes, Nasty and Rude Jokes.
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A WOMAN’S WEEK AT THE GYM 

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If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

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Dear Diary,

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For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 40 something years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.


MONDAY:

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I started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blonde hair,dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

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TUESDAY:

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I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda’s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It’s a whole new life for me.

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WEDNESDAY:

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The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the Hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.

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THURSDAY:

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Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl I couldn’t help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was

 

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Comments (0) Nov 03 2011

Laughter….

Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
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Add a teaspoon of it

To your diet each day 

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My sister said its so cold where she is

that she saw a lawyer with his hands

in his own pockets……..brrrrrrr!

 

><><

 

Its been said that 95% of drivers skidding on snow slickened roads say,

 ”Oh my God”.  The other 5% are from Buffalo, NY and say,

Read More

Comments (0) Oct 29 2011

JAMROCK: Celebration Time…Come On!!!

Posted: under "Jamaica Labrish Korner", "Jamaica ~ Land Of Paradise", "Jazzy REGGAE ~ Irie Riddim", "SMILE" Jamaica ~ "Once You Go --- You Know", "Welcome to JAMrock ~ JAMAICA ~ NO PROBLEM".
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August 6th

JAMAICA’s

Independence  Day

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Miss  Jamaica  Festival  Queen

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Click on the link below

&

Enjoy…..!

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JAMAICA  FESTIVAL  SONG

 

2011

 

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Big Celebration

 by

 Tinga Stewart

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http://youtu.be/NU8l_5exwpY

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Miss  Jamaica

******

Little   Miss  Jamaica

******

Read More

Comments (0) Aug 11 2011