Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: age, air, attention, attorney, bank, check, classic, computer, dictionary, difference, dumb, earth, era, exam, flight, fool, friends, friendship, fun, funds, funny, funtime, game, global, globe, hand, hands, hilarious, history, humor, idiot, internet, Jamaican, jokes, land, language, laughter, lawyer, legs, letter, mail, money, moon, moron, nut, nuts, online, passenger, period, phone, plane, play, quiz, sleep, smiles, sound, stupid, test, time, universe, voice, wealth, words
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This is hilarious! A true classic.
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A lawyer and a Jamaican are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that Jamaicans are so dumb that he can fool them easy… So the lawyer asks if the Jamaican would like to play a fun game.
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The Jamaican is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and says that the game is a lot of fun.
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‘I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5; You ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.’
This catches the Jamaican’s attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
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The lawyer asks the first question.
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‘What’s the distance from The Earth to the moon?’
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The Jamaican doesn’t say a word, reaches in his pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
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Now, it’s the Jamaican’s turn.
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He asks the lawyer, ‘What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?’
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Feb 07 2012
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW".
Tags: age, aroma, beans, beauty, bird, bliss, body, boobs, bowl, brandy, breakfast, breasts, calories, carrot, carrots, cheese, chicken, classic, cold, color, colors, comfort, diet, dinner, direction, directions, duty, eggs, era, exercise, fat, fats, fire, food, foods, fragrance, hand, hands, happiness, health, home, House, ice, ingredient, ingredients, job, joy, labor, meal, meat, milk, nutrition, odor, oil, onion, pasta, peas, pepper, period, plant, plants, recipe, restaurant, sacrifice, sandwich, sauce, scent, season, seasoning, service, smiles, snack, snacks, snow, stream, sugar, tablecloth, task, taste, thyme, time, touch, turkey, vegetable, vegetables, veggie, veggies, water, wine, work, yogurt
Classic Comfort Foods Made Healthy
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Here are blue plate specials with nutritious twists―so you can enjoy these beautiful dishes even more, without sacrificing one ounce of good taste.
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Beef Stroganoff
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Beef Stroganoff With Yogurt and Dill
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Serves 4| Hands-On Time: 25m | Total Time: 25m
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Ingredients
12 ounces multigrain noodles
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 pound sirloin steak, thinly sliced kosher salt and pepper
1 pound button mushrooms, sliced
4 shallots, sliced
1/2 cup dry white wine
1/4 cup nonfat Greek yogurt
1/4 cup chopped fresh dill
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- Calories 535 Calories From Fat 22%
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Directions
Cook the noodles according to the package directions. Meanwhile, heat 1 tablespoon of the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Season the steak with ¼ teaspoon each salt and pepper. In 2 batches, cook the steak until browned, about 1 minute per side. Transfer to a plate. Return the skillet to medium heat and add the remaining oil. Add the mushrooms and shallots; cook, stirring occasionally, until tender, 5 to 6 minutes. Add the wine and simmer until the liquid has reduced by half, 2 to 3 minutes. Return the beef and accumulated juices to the skillet and cook until
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Jan 12 2012
Posted: under "Jamaica Labrish Korner", Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: actor, actress, age, airport, alcohol, Alexander Bustamante, America, beauty, bliss, Britain, British, Bunny Grant, bus, car, cheer, church, classic, companion, contest, contestant, couple, culture, custom, dance, dialect, difference, doctor, drugs, earth, engagement, England, Englishman, era, fashion, festival, flight, food, fun, funny, funtime, game, gift, graduation, growth, happiness, heritage, highway, hilarious, history, holiday, Hollywood, home, hospital, House, humor, husband, Jamaica, Jamaican, job, jokes, jonkanoo, journey, joy, Kingston, language, laughter, license, life, lifestyle, lifetime, London, love, magazine, marriage, medication, medicine, memories, memory, minister, Miss Jamaica, Miss Lou, Miss World, model, money, music, Norman Manley, nurse, office, partner, party, passenger, pastor, path, patois, period, pharmacist, pharmacy, physician, plane, preacher, present, priest, prime minister, prize, queen, Queen Elizabeth, reggae, road, school, sermon, smiles, sport, sports, spouse, style, sugar, summer, Sunday, task, television, time, title, traffic, travel, treats, tropics, universe, vehicle, vernacular, wedding, West Indian, wife, words, work, world, youth
Miss Jamaica, Evelyn Andrade, Marries Dancing Partner Tony Verity
– Jet Magazine May 26, 1955
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Those who remember these shouldn’t still be working!!!!
— As a Jamaican you know you are getting old if:
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You had an exercise book with Queen Elizabeth and her husband on it
(instead of a ring binder).
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You used to listen to Redifussion.
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You wore Bata crepe to school, and bought Asham at the gate..
(Extra credit if you know what Asham was made of)
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You remember that the Lou and Ranny show used to come on at 7:00 PM
On a Sunday.
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You know what the initials T. A. D. P. Stand for.
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You know who Tony Verity was.
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You can name more than two of the characters in a Jonkanoo band.
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You know what boxing title Bunny Grant held.
Posted: under "Jamaica Labrish Korner", "Jamaica ~ Land Of Paradise", "SMILE" Jamaica ~ "Once You Go --- You Know", "Welcome to JAMrock ~ JAMAICA ~ NO PROBLEM".
Tags: abroad, activist, African, aim, awards, balance, beacon, birth, birthday, black, blacks, blessings, bliss, Bob Marley, brilliance, candle, car, Caribbean, celebration, celebrity, ceremony, champion, championship, check, cheer, classic, color, colors, competition, country, courage, culture, custom, determination, dialect, dream, duty, earth, example, faith, fashion, fire, flame, focus, foreign, fun, funds, funtime, game, girl, global, globe, goal, gold, guitarist, happiness, hero, Hollywood, hope, icon, island, Jamaica, Jamaican, job, joy, labor, land, language, leader, leadership, legend, legs, life, lifestyle, lifetime, light, lighthouse, loan, medal, military, model, money, music, musician, nation, New York, Olympic, Olympics, palm, paradise, Paris, patois, peace, performer, perseverance, play, power, pride, race, rainbow, reggae, role model, singer, skill, smiles, soil, soldier, son, songwriter, sound, sport, sports, star, strength, style, sunshine, superstar, talent, task, ticket, title, torch, Trelawny, trophy, unique, unity, universe, Usain Bolt, value, vernacular, voice, wealth, winner, words, work, world, worth
World Fastest Man —-Jamaican Usain Bolt
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Jamaican Track and Field Star
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Born Jamaican - By Tony Robinson
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There is nobody like a Jamaican, Nobody! Sometimes it’s difficult to determine where someone comes from. Drop us into the vast mosaic of the peoples of the world and try to figure out who is who.
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“Him is from China, no, is Japanese, but him could be Korean still.” The same goes for people from India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, or Nigeria, Kenya, Ghana. We just can’t tell them apart. Not so with Jamaicans though, who stand out and stick out like beacons in the night. Foreigners know us in a flash, and we can identify each other from way across the street. We are so distinct that other people try to walk, talk and act like us.
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I’m so amused when I encounter Americans, Europeans, Japanese, [Madam Cleo, or Ron] trying to act Jamaican. “Hey mon, wha hoppening mon, eberyting irie?” I usually reply in my most proper English. If they are Japanese, I say, “Sukiyaki, Sayonara, Sony, Toyota Mitsubishi.” Just to keep them guessing.
OUT OF MANY ONE PEOPLE!
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“So you speak Japanese?”
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“Ah so, Nissan, Sanyo, Toyota Tercel..”
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But what makes us so different from other people? First it’s the walk, nobody walks like us. People in foreign walk briskly, head straight, arms swinging almost in military fashion, with a stride and purpose like they’re going somewhere. Not us though, who saunter with a rhythm that is almost slow motion. No hurry, no scurry, no flurry, no rushy rushy, just cool, with a bop and rhythm that could be put to music. Years ago we used to call it bop. For some it’s natural while others practiced it.
Bob Marley Commemorative Coin
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If you’re a girl in the middle of Paris, Madrid or Tokyo and hear, “psst, psst,” from across the street,
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Jul 31 2009
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW".
Tags: adorable, attention, audition, ballerina, Britain, celebrity, children, classic, contestant, dance, Idol, judges, link, music, pattern, performance, photos, reality, runway, sensation, show, singer, smiles, spotlight, success, talent, television
Lungs Of Steel
Hollie Steel
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At first, 10-year-old Hollie had trouble dancing, but then she started to sing. » Better than Boyle, Shaheen?
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Posted Mon Apr 27, 2009 11:40am PDT
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I don’t know about you, but I’m already sick of Susan Boyle from Britain’s Got Talent. And I don’t even live in Britain! I’ve just reached my Boyling point with her.
Well, it does seem now that the population of Britain agrees with me, at least, because U.K. viewers’ fickle attention has already turned first to younger and cuter 12-year-old Britain’s Got Talent hopeful Shaheen Jafargholi and then, as of last night, to the even younger and cuter 10-year-old singing ballerina, Hollie Steel.
Hollie’s performance on Britain’s runaway-hit talent show is the latest Interweb sensation after airing on U.K. television yesterday, and along with the obvious
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: attorney, bank, car, check, classic, court, funds, funny, honor, humor, jokes, judge, laughter, law, lawyer, loan, model, money, reason, robber, rules, short, smiles, thief
Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz
and, after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presidedat the hearing.
“Your honour,” he said, “I wanna get out a warrant for
that dirty lawyer of mine.”
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Apr 13 2009
