Safety Competition

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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Pedal Car Arrest by Spacing Magazine.

 

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 A police officer pulled over a driver and informed him

that he had just won $5,000 in a safety competition,

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all because he was wearing his seat belt.

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“What are you going to do with the prize money?”

the officer asked.

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The man responded, “I guess I’ll go to the driving school

and get my license.”

 

His wife said, “Officer, don’t listen to him. He’s a smart

Aleck when he’s drunk.”

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The guy in the back seat popped up from under the

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Comments (0) Jul 12 2013

“Your honor!”

Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
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Judge by Simon Gurr. 

 

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 A rasta man an him empress inna court getting a

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divorce. 

The problem was who should get custody of

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the child.

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The empress jumped up and said,

 ”Your honor,

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I brought the child into this world with pain and

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labor. She should be in my custody.”

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The judge turned to the dread and said,

 ”What do you have to say in the matter?”

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The rasta sat down for a while contemplating… then

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slowly rose and said,

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Comments (1) Jul 12 2013

“Kiss mi neck!”

Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
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stairway.jpg Stairway to Heaven image by godsrose123

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A Jamaican and a Trinidadian, waiting at the pearly gates, struck up a conversation. 

“How did you die?” the Trinidadian man asked the Jamaican.

 ”I froze to death mon”, said the Jamaican. 

“That’s awful! How does it feel to freeze to death?” asked the Trinidadian.

“Well brother, it was very uncomfortable at first but when the cold hit, my whole body started to shake and I got pain in my fingers and toes.

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Eventually, it became, a very calm way to die. I got numb and then I just drifted off, like dying in your sleep.”

 ”So how did you die Mon?” asked the Jamaican. 

“I had a heart attack”, said the Trinidadian. 

“You see, I did believe my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom and found her alone

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knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast

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Comments (2) Jul 12 2013

JAMAICAN JOKE

Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
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photo

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A man in JAMAICA was on his way to church one Sunday when he realized that he had left his new cellphone at home. 

He turned back to get it.

By the time he reached home his wife had found the phone and placed it on the table.  

He picked up the phone, looked at it and started taking off his church clothes. 

His wife said to him, ”Aren’t you going back to church?” 

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Comments (0) Jul 12 2013

Mothers Must Rescue Society

Posted: under "A Scripture A Day Keeps The Devil Away", Inspirationals.
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Titus 2:3-5 says, “The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behaviour, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things … that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed“.

photo

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A good mother teaches her children about the principles and the goodness of God and how to pray, and to honour their (earthly) fathers - even if they are not good fathers.

 

*****

 

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Comments (0) May 13 2013

Off The Wall‏

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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photo

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A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away.
As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump
into a wall.


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They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the
woman is actually alive.


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She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another
funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry

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Comments (0) Apr 24 2013