Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: attorney, cop, court, dialect, food, funny, hilarious, honor, humor, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, judge, language, laughter, law, lawyer, man, money, officer, patois, patrolman, police, rules, sheriff, smiles, sugar, treats, trooper, vernacular, words
.
A Jamaican man went into a store and picked up a bottle of juice and a bag of sugar and only paid for the juice and walked out………he got arrested for stealing the sugar.
He went to court, the judge asked him why he stole the sugar……….he then replied,
“Yuh Honor, mi nah tief no sugar…..mi look pon de back ah de juice
Read More
May 05 2011
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: attorney, blossoms, color, companion, cop, couple, court, enlightenment, eyes, family, home, husband, inspiration, judge, law, lawyer, light, man, memory, mind, moment, money, mountain, officer, others, parents, partner, passport, patrolman, police, rules, sheriff, spirit, spouse, trooper, visa, wife, woman
Look Into Your Eyes
====================
.
I was online to renew my passport.
.
I answered question after question. Most were simple questions
that were easily answered, but then it got to a hard one.
.
What color are your eyes?
.
I didn’t know the answer!
.
Now you may ask, “What kind of man doesn’t know what color his
eyes are?”
.
Were my eyes black or brown?
.
I honestly didn’t know. I’m sure that I once did, but I
certainly
wouldn’t bet a large sum of money on a guess right then.
I couldn’t remember what color my eyes were.
.
It reminded me of the lawyer cross-examining a witness in court
and to prove that his memory was unreliable, he put his hand on
the man’s neck shielding his tie from his view and asked him,
“What color tie do you have on?”
.
Needless to say, the witness didn’t know. I hear you saying,
“But your eye color isn’t like that tie!” Well, actually it
was, because I didn’t know what color they were.
.
My wife was out of town with the kids visiting her parents.
I was the only one in the house. So I did what any man would do
who couldn’t remember his eye color and didn’t have anyone
close who could look into his eyes and tell him.
Read More
Oct 07 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: court, funny, hilarious, husband, jokes, laughter, lawyer, marriage, smiles, wife
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
.
Q: This myasthenia gravis — does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?
.
Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
.
Q: How old is your son — the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, ”Where am I, Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: advice, army, attorney, bank, bouquet, car, challenge, check, college, company, court, daffodil, earth, fax, flowers, funds, funny, global, globe, granny, hands, hilarious, hotel, humor, jokes, journey, judge, laughter, lawyer, logistic, Mathematics, Memorial Day, military, money, morning, motel, mother, mother-in-law, party, path, phone, president, road, rose, roses, smiles, soldier, time, tips, traffic, travel, trust, universe, vehicle, veteran, war, wealth, wedding, woman, world
Phone won’t stop ringing? Here’s what you do…
Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem. But unlike most people she did something about it.
The brand-new $10 million Ribrock Plaza Motel opened nearby and had acquired almost the same telephone number as Leola.
.
From the moment the motel opened, Leola was besieged by calls not for her. Since she had the same phone number for years, she felt that she had a case to persuade the motel management to change its number.
Naturally, the management refused claiming that it could not change its stationery.
The phone company was not helpful, either. A number was a number, and just because a customer was getting someone else’s calls 24 hours a day didn’t make it responsible. After her pleas fell on deaf ears, Leola decided to take matters into her own hands.
At 9 o’clock the phone rang. Someone from Memphis was calling the motel and asked for
Read More
Aug 01 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, attorney, bar, beer, brandy, Bubba, champagne, court, food, funny, gin, health, hilarious, humor, jokes, judge, laughter, law, lawyer, man, redneck, restaurant, rules, rum, scotch, sleep, smiles, tequila, whiskey, wine, woman
Somewhere in the deep South, Bubba called an attorney and asked, “Is it true they’re suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?”
“Yes, Bubba, that is true.”
“And people are suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries … is that true, mister lawyer?”
Read More
Jun 20 2009
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW", Inspirationals.
Tags: attorney, authority, bank, belief, cemetery, ceremony, country, court, crown, custom, dad, day, designer, desire, Duchess, Duke, earth, eyes, faith, fashion, father, flight, ghost, glory, God, hand, heart, Heaven, home, House, inspiration, journey, judge, King, language, lawyer, life, light, Lord, love, man, mansion, medication, medicine, mind, money, others, passenger, pilot, plane, pledge, Prince, princess, promise, queen, road, royalty, salvation, scripture, season, soul, style, ticket, time, travel, treasure, trip, universe, woman, words, world
1. ACCOMMODATION
Arrangements for first-class accommodation have been made in advance.
“In My Father’s house are many mansions…I go to prepare a place for you.” (John 14:2).
2. PASSPORTS
Persons seeking entry will not be permitted past the gates without having proper papers/credentials and having their names registered with the ruling Authority.
Read More
May 08 2009
