Posted: under Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, bar, beer, car, champagne, cowboy, drunk, duty, funny, gin, hilarious, humor, job, jokes, labor, laughter, liquor, man, penis, pub, rum, scotch, secret, smiles, sugar, task, tequila, time, vodka, waiter, waitress, watch, whiskey, wine, woman, work
A cowboy walks into a bar, and two steps in he realizes it’s a gay bar.
“What the heck,” he says to himself, “I really want a drink.” When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, “What’s the name of your willy?” The cowboy says, “Look, I’m not into any of that. All I want is a drink.
“The gay waiter says, “I’m sorry but I can’t serve you until you tell me the name of your willy. Mine for instance is called NIKE, for the slogan, ‘Just Do It.’ that guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because ‘It really Satisfies.’ “The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over.
So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer, “Hey bud, what’s the name of yours?” The man looks back and says with a smile, “TIMEX.” The thirsty cowboy asks, “Why Timex?” the fella proudly replies, “‘Cause it takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin!’”
A little shaken, the cowboy turns to the two fella’s on his right who just happens to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, “So, what do you guys call yours?” The first man
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: accident, age, bank, belief, cemetery, check, cowboy, era, exam, funds, funny, ghost, hilarious, history, humor, insurance, jokes, language, laughter, money, period, reason, smiles, test, time, words
The cowboy was trying to buy an insurance policy.
The insurance agent was going down the list of
standard questions. ‘Ever had an accident?’
‘Nope, nary a one.’
‘None? You’ve never had any accidents?’
‘Nope. Ain’t never had one. Never.’
‘That’s hard to believe. No accidents at all?’
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Oct 02 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: child, courage, cowboy, designer, fashion, funny, grace, hilarious, humor, jokes, laughter, leather, mother, parent, school, smiles, students, style, teacher, woman
A Texas school teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots. He asked her for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn’t want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, “Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.” She looked and sure enough, they were.
It wasn’t any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time, on the right feet. He then announced, “These aren’t my boots.”
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Jul 30 2008
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life".
Tags: advice, age, American, bat, beauty, belief, black, color, colors, cowboy, dream, duty, earth, effort, emotion, emotions, era, eyes, faith, global, globe, history, humanity, indian, inspiration, jar, job, labor, language, life, man, memory, Native American, others, period, reward, short, star, task, time, tips, universe, value, woman, words, work, world
Many people like me feel slightly passed over in a world that seems to place a high value on beauty. But a short poem by Anthony Ewell reminds us that physical attractiveness can be over-rated. He writes:
“As a beauty I am not a great star,
There are others more handsome by far.
But my face, I don’t mind it,
For I am behind it,
It’s the people in front who get the jar!”
Physically, maybe I’m not the stuff dreams are made of. And maybe, as the poem suggests, it doesn’t matter. Because I believe there is another kind of beauty in all of us that can be experienced by anybody who digs a little deeper.
Several times I have visited a natural wonder that is one of the largest and most spectacular of its kind in the world. Carlsbad Caverns is an immense series of limestone caves extending under much of southern New Mexico (USA). Native Americans took refuge in the gaping hole that is the main entrance, but they did not venture far. A hundred years ago settlers in the area were attracted to the opening by the awesome sight of hundreds of thousands of bats swarming from the hole every summer evening. Though a bat guano mining operation was set up, nobody explored much beyond the bat’s dwelling places.
Eventually, a cowboy name Jim White explored deeper. He returned with fantastic
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Jul 13 2008