Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bank, boss, check, chic, classic, craft, designer, duty, employee, employer, eyes, fashion, funds, funny, hand, hands, hilarious, humor, job, jokes, labor, laughter, manager, mirror, money, reflection, sempstress, skill, skills, smiles, stunning, style, suit, supervisor, surprise, tailor, task, tool, tools, work, youth
A young banker decided to get his first tailor made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit.
A week later he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked stunning, he felt that in this suit he can do business.
As he was preening himself in front of the mirror he reached down to put his hands in the pockets and to his surprise he noticed that there were no pockets.
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Sep 04 2008
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life".
Tags: ability, advice, anxiety, art, artist, attention, attorney, beauty, birthday, class, court, craft, depression, direction, dream, dreams, duty, earth, fate, feeling, focus, friends, friendship, gift, globe, guidance, hand, healing, health, humanity, instruction, instructions, job, journey, labor, lawyer, life, lifestyle, listening, love, man, nature, opportunities, opportunity, others, painting, path, power, present, quotes, reason, road, stress, success, task, therapy, thought, tips, trip, universe, voice, woman, work, world
PONDER THESE THINGS
Opening The Door
Fighting Against Our Gifts
As human beings we often have a tendency to fight against using our natural gifts. Many stories of success start with an individual who is ignoring the call of his or her inborn abilities. There are many possible reasons for this resistance, from fear that the calling will be too difficult to a disbelief in the very work one is being asked to do. We may feel too small, too distracted by other people’s ideas about what we should do, or too uninformed. Whatever the case, the resistance to actualizing ourselves has very concrete consequences, and many of us have been called out of hiding by an illness or a twist of fate that unequivocally dismantled our resistance. In other words, the universe knocks, and if we don’t answer it knocks louder.
For example, if you are meant to be a psychic or a medium, and you aren’t using that gift, you may get headaches. If you are meant to be a healer and are trying to be a lawyer, you may have trouble getting or keeping a job. This doesn’t mean that you can’t still be a lawyer, but perhaps integrating your gifts into your work is what is calling you. On the other hand, you may simply feel an underlying anxiety that you are not on the right path, doing the right thing. Pay attention to this feeling, and ask for guidance from the universe, being open to all its communications, from subtle internal yearnings to powerful dreams.
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Aug 08 2008
Posted: under Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: age, art, career, check, craft, designer, doctor, era, fashion, funds, funny, gift, history, hospital, humor, jar, jokes, laughter, leather, man, money, others, patient, penis, period, physician, present, smiles, souvenir, specialist, style, surgeon, surprise, time, token, wish
A surgeon was retiring from his long and rewarding career as a specialist in circumcision. Throughout his career, he had saved the foreskins of his patients in specimen jars as momentos, and now wished to fashion them into a souvenir.
So he brought his hundreds of specimens to a leathersmith, and asked him to craft an article of fine artistic quality. “I’ll see what I can do,” said the artisan, “Check back with me in one week.”
The surgeon returned one week later, eager to see what magnificent article the leathersmith had
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Jul 19 2008
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: beer, boss, brandy, car, check, craft, dialect, employee, experience, fish, fishing, funds, funny, hilarious, humor, Jamaica, Jamaican, job, jokes, Kingston, language, laughter, liquor, man, money, northcoast, patois, rum, salesman, sleep, smiles, vehicle, vernacular, wife, words, work
.
A young man from Jamaica moves to Miami and goes to a big
Department shopping complex looking for a job.
The manager says, ‘Do you have any sales experience?’ The Jamaican
young man says. ‘Bossie, mi was a salesman back home on di streets
a Kingston .’
Well, the boss liked him so he gave him the job. ‘You start
tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.’
His first day on the job was rough but he got
through it. After the
store was locked up, the boss came down. ‘How many sales did you
make today?’
The Jamaican young man says, ‘Man, Just ONE sale’ The boss says,
‘Just one? No! No! No! You see here our sales people
average 20 or 30 sales a day. If you want to keep this job, you’d
better be doing better than just one sale’. ‘By the way, how much
was the sale for?’
The Jamaican young man says, ‘$301,237.64′
Boss says, ‘$301,237.64? What the hell did you sell?’
The Jamaican young man: ‘Bossie, Fus mi sell him one little fish
hook. Den mi sell
him a medium size fish hook. Den mi sell him 1
big fish hook.
Den mi sell him one fishing rod an sum fishing tings.
Den mi ask him whey him a go fishing an him seh dung de coast, so
mi tell him sey him a go want one boat, so we go dung a de boating
department an mi sell him one twin engine Chris Craft.
Den him seh him nuh think him Audi Car caan pull it, so mi tek
him dung a wi automotive department an mi sell him di 4X4 Blazer.
Then mi ask him whey him a go sleep, an since him neva have nuh
weh, mi tek him dung a di camping department an sell him one a di
new Igloo 6 sleeper camper tents.
Then the man seh, while we deh pon it, mi might as well fling in
about a $100.00 wut a groceries and two cases of beer.’
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Jul 11 2008