Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: age, aid, anxiety, bank, belief, brain, bridge, burden, care, caring, check, community, compassion, contribution, cross, decision, depression, destination, dialect, donation, era, exam, example, exercise, eyes, faith, funds, funny, gift, God, heart, highway, hilarious, history, home, hope, House, humor, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, journey, language, laughter, legs, letter, listening, load, loan, love, mail, man, mind, model, money, neighbor, office, others, pain, path, patois, pencil, period, prayer, present, quiz, reading, road, robber, role model, sharing, smiles, spirit, stress, struggles, surprise, test, thief, thought, time, token, traffic, travel, trial, trials, trip, trust, vernacular, village, weight, woman, wonder, words, worries, worry
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A man became desperate after praying to God to help him. Not seeing any help coming to him he decided to write to God instead.
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He wrote, “Gad mi tiad fi pray an yuh nah ansa mi. Sumtime mi wanda if yuh caan hear mi. Suh mi tink it betta fi mi write yuh caa mi kno yuh wi read it.
Gad mi bruk an only a beg yuh 3 tousand dallas. Tanx!”
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He went to the post office and mailed his letter to
Heaven District, Heaven P.O.
The post mistress not knowing where to send the letter decided to read it.
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Moved by it, all the workers contributed money but could only arrive at 2500 dollars. Regardless,
they sent it to the man
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A few weeks later he picked up his mail at the post office, rushed home and was shocked to find only Read More
Mar 08 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, air, arm, arms, aroma, beans, birth, birthday, bridge, car, cemetery, companion, couple, decision, destination, dinner, duty, effect, eggs, era, family, fart, feeling, flowers, food, force, fragrance, friends, funny, gas, ghost, girl, hand, hands, highway, hilarious, history, home, House, humor, husband, job, jokes, journey, labor, language, laughter, legs, love, man, marriage, movement, noise, obituary, odor, partner, party, passion, path, peas, perfume, period, phone, power, prize, promise, repairs, restaurant, road, sacrifice, scent, smell, smiles, sound, spouse, surprise, tablecloth, task, time, travel, trip, vehicle, weight, wife, wind, winner, woman, words, work
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Once upon a time there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, he adored them, he yearned for them. But they always caused him a great deal of embarrassment shortly after eating them.
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One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he realized she might be even more embarrassed and humiliated by his addiction to baked beans. He decided to make the supreme sacrifice and give up his beloved baked beans. A short time later they were married.
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Some months later, on his way home from work, his car broke down. He was not too far from home so he decided to leave the car and walk the rest of the way. He passed a small roadside cafe and decided to call his wife and tell her that he would be late for supper. As he entered the cafe, the smell of baked beans overwhelmed him. He still had several miles to go, and decided that he could walk off any after-effects before reaching home. Before he knew it, he had eaten three large plates of baked beans. Even as he left the cafe, the effects began to be felt. He pooted up a hill, and poot-pooted down the other side. As he grew closer to home, the frequency and forcefulness diminished greatly, and he felt reasonably safe.
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Just as he reached his home, however, he felt a great rumbling inside and was seized with a terrible urgency. As he waited just outside his front door to release one last effort, his wife threw open the door. She excitedly exclaimed, “Darling, I have made the most wonderful surprise dinner for you.”
She blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the table. Just as she was ready to remove the blindfold, the phone rang. She made him promise not to peek until she returned and went to answer the phone.
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When she had gone, he seized the opportunity, shifted his weight to one leg and loudly broke wind. It was not only loud, but as ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he took his napkin
and began to fan the air about him. He just started feeling better when he felt another urge. He again raised one leg and let her rip. It sounded like a tuba and smelled so bad that he started gagging. He fanned until his arms ached. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another powerful
Read More
Feb 27 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, attention, bar, beer, bishop, brandy, champagne, church, decision, devil, drunk, evil, exam, example, eyes, focus, funny, gin, Heaven, hell, hilarious, humor, jokes, language, laughter, legs, liquor, listening, man, minister, noise, others, pastor, perception, pope, preacher, priest, pub, quiz, reverend, rum, satan, scotch, sermon, sleep, smiles, sound, Sunday, surprise, tequila, test, vodka, voice, vote, voter, whiskey, wine, wishes, woman, words
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A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the
Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling hung
over and tired, he finally nods off.
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The priest has been watching him all along, noticing his
apparent hangover and is disgusted. At the end of the sermon,
the preacher decides to make an example of him.
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He says to his congregation, “All those wishing to have a place
in heaven, please stand.”
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The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man.
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Then the preacher says even more loudly, “And he who would like
Read More
Feb 23 2012
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW".
Tags: actor, actress, American, artist, awards, bliss, bracelet, celebrity, check, competition, contestant, dance, decision, designer, diamonds, dress, earrings, example, fashion, fashionista, finalist, glamour, gold, gown, hairdo, hairstyle, happiness, Hollywood, Idol, jewelry, joy, laughter, lipstick, make-up, mini, money, music, musician, necklace, pants, pearls, performance, photos, prize, result, ring, role model, season, show, singer, smiles, style, suit, talent, theatre, trophy, winner
**
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Scotty McCreery is announced the “American Idol” for 2011 during the Season 10 finale results show at Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles.
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Finalists Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina await the final decision onstage during the “American Idol” Season 10 finale results show at Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles.
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Pia Toscano, Ashton Jones, Beyonce, and Naima Adedapo perform during the “American Idol” Season 10 finale results show at Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles.
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Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony perform onstage during the “American Idol” Season 10 finale results show at Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles.
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Finalists Lauren Alaina (L) and Scotty McCreery walk onstage during the “American Idol” Season
Read More
May 30 2011
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Advice & Tips, Inspirationals.
Tags: activities, advice, America, business, choices, contribution, decision, development, efforts, family, focus, idea, inspiration, job, life, neighborhood, parent, project, purpose, quotes, relationship, spirit, success, tips, work
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I once read that an ordinance in one of America’s major cities
forbids “walking about aimlessly, with no apparent purpose,
lingering, hanging around, lagging behind, idly spending time,
delaying, sauntering and moving slowly about.”
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I can’t tell you how disturbed I felt. Some of my best days are
spent like that.
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But then, I don’t want my whole life to be basically described as
having “no apparent purpose…lagging behind…idly spending
time…delaying” and generally moving about aimlessly. On the other
hand, neither do I want to take myself too seriously. An occasional
day spent doing next to nothing sounds perfectly fine.
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My problem is that I am usually busy. I schedule tightly and work
long hours. I plan my time and make lists.
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But it would be a mistake to believe that, just because I am doing
many things, I am necessarily doing the right things. Or, perhaps,
the BEST things. At least if I’m busy, I want to stay busy at things
that matter.
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News commentator Dan Rather asked himself a vital question several
times a day. Largely because of this one question, he became one of
America’s leading journalists. Rather wrote the question on three
slips of paper. He kept one in his billfold, one in his pocket, and
Read More
May 09 2010
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: airport, attention, celebration, comfort, conference, core, country, decision, direction, efforts, experience, focus, friends, harbor, history, hotel, humility, inspiration, laughter, lesson, life, memorial, mission, moment, motivation, progress, reality, relaxation, success, thought, value, values, vision
Why are core values critical to our success in business and in life? Because our values are critical guides for making important decisions. And when in doubt they cut through the fog like a beacon in the night.
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John Blumberg has written the best book we’ve ever read on how we build value…with values. And if there was ever a time in the history of this great country that we need to re-visit our core values…the time is NOW.
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Enjoy an excerpt from John’s book, Good to the Core…Building Value with Values.
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An Excerpt from
Good to the Core
by John Blumberg
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U.S.S. Arizona Memorial, Pearl Harbor, Hawaii
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I was in Honolulu to speak at a large national conference. I scheduled an extra day onto the trip since I had never been to Honolulu and because a few great friends were also at the conference. The day after the conference, we awoke at the crack of dawn to visit Pearl Harbor. As we stood above and looked down upon the sunken USS Arizona, the depth of our experience came to life. It was moving and humbling.
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Upon our return to the hotel, I had some time to spare before departing to the airport. A couple of my friends and I decided to rent a raft large enough to hold three adults. We targeted the white-capped waves, out in the distance, as our destination. With the incoming waves, we had a hard time getting away from the shore. At first, there seemed to be enormous momentum keeping us “grounded.” Slowly, but surely, we began to make progress. It seemed to get easier. We eventually got within a few feet of the whitecaps and decided to board our raft and relax as a celebration of our efforts. It was in our moment of pause that we felt the reality