Posted: under "YUMMY FOOD FOR THOUGHT".
Tags: advice, assurance, beacon, belief, blessings, body, boy, care, child, Christ, comfort, Comforter, commandments, concern, courage, dad, devil, evil, faith, family, father, father-in-law, finger, fingers, food, force, friends, friendship, girl, glory, God, goodness, grace, grand-dad, granny, guidance, guide, heart, hope, inspiration, insurance, Jesus, King, leader, life, lifestyle, lifetime, light, Lord, love, man, mercy, message, might, mind, mother, mother-in-law, neighbor, obedience, others, power, prayer, promise, promises, protection, Redeemer, safety, satan, Savior, security, sermon, sheep, shepherd, shield, son, soul, sound, spirit, strength, thought, tips, woman
.
When the devil comes
knocking at your door,
simply say . . .
“Jesus, could you get
that for me please”?
May 09 2012
Posted: under "A Scripture A Day Keeps The Devil Away", "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something".
Tags: advice, anger, arm, arms, assurance, beacon, belief, blessings, bliss, bridge, burden, candle, candles, Christ, Christian, Christianity, Christians, comfort, Comforter, courage, cross, day, depression, devil, embrace, encouragement, faith, fire, flame, God, hand, hands, happiness, highway, hope, inspiration, Jesus, journey, joy, King, language, leader, life, lifestyle, lifetime, light, load, Lord, love, lovingkindness, man, medication, medicine, might, movement, ocean, offer, others, path, peace, permission, power, praise, prayer, promise, Redeemer, relaxation, rest, rivers, road, satan, Savior, scripture, sea, service, sheep, shepherd, smiles, sound, storm, stream, strength, stress, struggles, sunshine, thorn, thorns, tips, today, torch, touch, travel, trial, trials, tribulation, trip, trust, truth, voice, water, weight, woman, words, worries, worry, worth
.
When thou passest through the waters,
I will be with thee;
and through the rivers,
they shall not overflow thee:
when thou walkest through the fire,
thou shalt not be burned;
neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.
– Isaiah 43:2
..
God’s word offers medicine for every one of our situations. We will encounter scorching ‘fires’ and turbulent ‘rivers’, but if we allow God to walk with us we will not be scorched by the fires nor drowned by the angry seas. We serve a God who says, “I will be with Thee”.
..
Read More
Apr 26 2012
Posted: under "A Scripture A Day Keeps The Devil Away", "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something".
Tags: advice, aid, assistance, assurance, belief, Bible, bishop, blessings, blood, burden, Christ, Christian, Christianity, Christians, comfort, Comforter, country, courage, cross, cure, day, depression, devil, earth, encouragement, English, experience, faith, force, forgiveness, global, globe, God, healing, holiness, hymn, inspiration, Jesus, land, language, life, lifestyle, lifetime, load, Lord, love, lovingkindness, man, might, minister, movement, others, pain, pastor, pencil, play, pope, power, prayer, preacher, priest, promise, protection, psalm, Redeemer, refuge, reverend, rivers, safety, salvation, satan, Savior, scripture, security, shape, shapes, shepherd, sin, sins, size, source, storm, stream, strength, stress, struggles, thought, tips, trust, truth, universe, voice, water, weight, woman, words, world, worries, worry
.
The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer;
my God, my strength, in whom I will trust;
my buckler, and the horn of my salvation,
and my high tower.
– (Psalm 18:2)
..
The story is told of a young preacher named Augustus Toplady who was taking a walk through the English countryside when a sudden storm swept across the landscape. Toplady spotted a wide rock formation with an opening; a cleft where he sought shelter until the storm passed. As he sat out the deluge, he contemplated the connection between his shelter and God’s help in life’s storms.
..
He had no paper to write on but found a playing card on the floor of the cave-like structure and began to write the words of the hymn “Rock of Ages”. Written on that stormy day in 1775, this hymn has been a source of strength for Christians ever since.
..
Rock of ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee;
Let the water and the blood,
From Thy wounded side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure,
Save from wrath and make me pure.
..
Think of your struggles.
Do you need a place to hide?
Do you need Someone to shelter you from life’s assaults?
Do you need the assurance that you’ve been forgiven?
..
As Toplady experienced, we can find shelter and assurance in God.
Don’t stand out in life’s storms alone.
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Apr 26 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, attention, bar, beer, bishop, brandy, champagne, church, decision, devil, drunk, evil, exam, example, eyes, focus, funny, gin, Heaven, hell, hilarious, humor, jokes, language, laughter, legs, liquor, listening, man, minister, noise, others, pastor, perception, pope, preacher, priest, pub, quiz, reverend, rum, satan, scotch, sermon, sleep, smiles, sound, Sunday, surprise, tequila, test, vodka, voice, vote, voter, whiskey, wine, wishes, woman, words
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A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the
Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling hung
over and tired, he finally nods off.
.
The priest has been watching him all along, noticing his
apparent hangover and is disgusted. At the end of the sermon,
the preacher decides to make an example of him.
.
He says to his congregation, “All those wishing to have a place
in heaven, please stand.”
.
The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man.
.
Then the preacher says even more loudly, “And he who would like
Read More
Feb 23 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: advice, age, aid, Bible, blessings, cemetery, child, children, Christ, church, class, classroom, compassion, computer, contribution, dad, devil, dinner, era, family, father, fish, fishing, food, friends, funny, ghost, girl, God, granny, gratitude, health, hilarious, home, House, humor, internet, Jesus, jokes, laughter, learning, Little Johnny, Lord, man, Mathematics, memory, message, minister, mother, mother-in-law, neighbor, online, parent, pastor, period, practice, prayer, preacher, pride, priest, psalm, rabbi, reading, reverend, satan, school, sermon, sheep, shepherd, sleep, smiles, Sunday, tablecloth, teacher, thankfulness, time, tips, trust, woman, youth
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| GOOD SAMARITAN..
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the
Good Samaritan.
She asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all
wounded and
bleeding, what would you do?”
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d throw
up.”
..
DID NOAH FISH?
..
A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a
lot of fishing when
he was on the Ark ?” “No,” replied Johnny.
“How could he, with just two worms.”
..
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
..
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most
quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23 .
She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.
Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn’t remember the Psalm.
After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation,
Ricky was so nervous.
When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,
“The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.”
..
UNANSWERED PRAYER
..
The preacher’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always
paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon.
One day, she asked him why. “Well, Honey,” he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a
good sermon.”
“How come He doesn’t answer it?” she asked.
..
BEING THANKFUL
..
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, “So your mother
says your prayers for you each night?
That’s very commendable.
What does she say?”
The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”
..
ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
..
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).
For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli
would say, “and all girls.”
This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing.
My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, “Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?”
Her response, “Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying ‘All Men’!”
..
SAY A PRAYER
..
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
Grandmother’s house.
Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.
When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.
“Johnny!
Read More
Dec 06 2011
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: anger, brain, cemetery, companion, couple, devil, duty, exam, funny, ghost, government, hilarious, humor, husband, interview, job, jokes, labor, language, laughter, man, Mathematics, mind, obituary, partner, satan, skill, skills, smiles, sound, spouse, task, test, thought, time, tool, tools, voice, wife, woman, words, work
.
There was an opening for an assassin at the FBI.
Three people applied for the job, two men and a woman.
All three were called in to interview on the same day.
..
First up was Ed. Ed walked into the room, and was asked
do you have what it takes to do this job? Ed quickly replied,
yes I do. The man then handed Ed a gun and was told that
his wife was in the next room - kill her.
..
Ed said there is
no way that I could kill my wife. The man then replied, you’re
free to go.
..
Next up was Bob. The man handed Bob a gun and said
your wife is in the next room - kill her. Bob went into the next
Read More
Jun 22 2011
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