Posted: under General Poetry.
Tags: account, age, aid, air, alcohol, America, American, bank, beer, belief, brandy, cemetery, champagne, check, children, contribution, cow, designer, dictionary, dinner, dog, duty, earth, era, eyes, faith, family, fashion, fish, fishing, food, funds, gas, ghost, gin, global, globe, government, granny, highway, history, home, hope, House, humor, job, labor, land, language, laughter, license, life, lifestyle, lifetime, liquor, marriage, money, mother, mother-in-law, nation, nut, nuts, obituary, pants, parent, period, phone, politics, road, rum, school, scotch, security, service, smiles, snack, snacks, style, tablecloth, task, taxes, tequila, time, treats, universe, vehicle, vodka, water, wealth, whiskey, wine, words, work, world
Tax his land, Tax his bed, Tax the table At which he’s fed.
Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes Are the rule.
Tax his work, Tax his pay, He works for peanuts Anyway!
Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his pants, Tax his coat.
Tax his ties, Tax his shirt, Tax his work, Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink, Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his cigars, Tax his beers, If he cries, then tax his tears.
Tax his car, Tax his gas, Find other ways To tax his ass.
Tax all he has Then let him know, That you won’t be done till he has no dough.
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Apr 24 2009
Posted: under Dumb Blonde Jokes.
Tags: baby, blonde, companion, cop, couple, doctor, dog, eyes, fool, funny, hands, home, hospital, House, humor, husband, idiot, job, jokes, laughter, marriage, mirror, money, moron, nurse, office, officer, partner, patrolman, phone, physician, police, redhead, sheriff, sleep, smiles, specialist, spouse, surgeon, task, television, time, trooper, voice, wife, work
FIRST DEGREE A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone,listened a moment And said ‘How should I know,that’s 200 miles from here!’ and hung up. The husband said, ‘Who was that?’ The wife said, ‘I don’t know, Some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.’
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SECOND DEGREE Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on The sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the Mirror and says, ‘Hmm, this person looks familiar.’ The second blonde Says, ‘Here, let me see!’ So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, ‘You dummy, it’s me!’
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THIRD DEGREE A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, So she goes out and
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Apr 24 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: action, age, air, attitude, behavior, body, boyfriend, choice, companion, couple, dad, decision, dinner, dog, era, eyes, family, fart, father, father-in-law, feeling, feelings, food, friends, friendship, funny, gas, girl, granny, health, hilarious, history, humor, jokes, language, laughter, legs, man, meal, mother, mother-in-law, parents, partner, period, rain, recipe, rivers, sleep, smiles, sound, stream, tablecloth, thought, ticket, time, train, treats, voice, water, woman, words
A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.
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Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart. It wasn’t loud, but everyone at the table heard the poot. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman’s feet, and said in a rather stern voice, “Ginger!” The woman thought, “this is great!” and a big smile came across her face.
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Apr 18 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, America, American, bank, body, brain, Canada, Canadian, car, care, check, child, computer, country, dog, duty, earth, era, family, fishing, food, funds, funny, global, globe, government, home, House, humor, income, internet, job, jokes, language, laughter, legs, license, liquor, magazine, man, marriage, Mathematics, money, nation, office, online, period, phone, politics, road, rum, school, security, service, smiles, task, taxes, television, time, truck, universe, vehicle, voice, whiskey, wine, woman, words, work, world
How many zeros in a billion??? This is too true to be funny…
The next time you hear a politician use the word ‘billion’ in a casual manner, think about whether you want the ‘politicians’ spending YOUR tax money.
A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of it’s releases.
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Apr 15 2009
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW".
Tags: age, beauty, cat, children, congressman, dad, dog, era, family, father, first lady, first puppy, friends, gift, granny, lake, mother, mother-in-law, ocean, photos, pond, present, president, rain, rivers, secret, senator, smiles, source, stream, time, water, White House
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Bo had a secret get-acquainted session with the family at the White House a few weeks ago.
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Bo is the Obama’s new puppy.
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The little guy is a 6-month-old Portuguese water dog given to the Obama girls as a gift by that Portuguese water dog-lovin’ senator himself, Edward M. Kennedy of Massachusetts. The girls named it Bo — and let it be noted that you learned that here first. Malia and Sasha chose the name, because their cousins have a cat named Bo and because first lady Michelle Obama’s father was nicknamed Diddley, a source said. (Get it? Bo . . . Diddley?)
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Bo’s a handsome little guy. Well suited for formal occasions at the White House, he’s got tuxedo-black fur,
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Apr 13 2009
Posted: under Dumb Blonde Jokes.
Tags: Africa, airport, art, blonde, butt, cat, dictionary, doctor, dog, eyes, flight, fool, funny, hospital, humor, idiot, job, jokes, language, laughter, letter, man, medication, medicine, moron, nurse, others, patient, penis, physician, plane, rectum, religion, smiles, specialist, surgeon, task, woman, words, work
Artery………….Study of paintings
Bacteria…………Backdoor to cafeteria
Barium…………..What to do when treatment fails
Bowel…………….Letter like A E I O or U
Ceasarean Section….District in Rome
Cat Scan………….Searching for Kitty
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Apr 09 2009