Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bar, cop, drunk, funny, hilarious, jokes, man, police, pub, smiles, wife
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On Saint Patrick’s Day, an Irishman who had a little too much to drink was driving home from the city and his car was weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulled him over.“So,” said the cop to the driver, “Where have you been?”“Why, I’ve been to the pub of course,” slurs the drunk.
“Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you’ve had quite a few to drink this evening.”
“I did all right,” the drunk says with a smile.
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Mar 17 2010
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, alcohol, bar, beer, champagne, drunk, era, Europe, fool, funny, gin, graduation, hilarious, humor, idiot, Ireland, Irish, jokes, laughter, liquor, man, Mathematics, money, moron, pub, rum, school, scotch, smiles, tequila, time, twins, vodka, whiskey, wine
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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
“Why of course,” comes the reply.
The first man then asks: “Where are you from?”
“I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man.
The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too!
Let’s have another round to Ireland.”
“Of Course,” replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks: “Where in Ireland are you from?”
“Dublin,” comes the reply.
“I can’t believe it,” says the first man.
“I’m from Dublin too! Let’s have another drink to Dublin.”
“Of course,” replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: “What school did you go to?”
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: bank, bar, beer, car, champagne, drunk, funny, hilarious, Jamaican, jokes, man, money, penis, restaurant, sex, tequila, vodka, waiter, waitress, whiskey, wine, woman
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A Jamaican guy enters a resturant and while sitting at his table he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at another table alone. he calls the waiter over and asks for a bottle of the most expensive champagne to be sent over to her knowing that if she accepts it she will be his.
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The waiter gets the bottle and quickly takes it over to the young lady, saying that it’s from the gentleman. She looks at the champagne and decides to send a note back to the Jamaican, the note reads…
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Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bar, beer, butt, champagne, drinks, drunk, funny, gin, hilarious, humor, jokes, laughter, man, New York City, personality, rum, scotch, smiles, vodka, whiskey, wine, woman
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:
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Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
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Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the buttocks.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
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Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows exactly what she wants.
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, bar, beer, brandy, champagne, cheer, drunk, funny, gin, hilarious, humor, jokes, laughter, light, liquor, music, nun, priest, restaurant, rum, scotch, smiles, tequila, time, vodka, whiskey, wine
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A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.
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The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while ‘the lights would turn off.’
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Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
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However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
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She walked up to the bartender, and asked, ‘May I please use the restroom?
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The bartender replied, ‘OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.’
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‘Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,’ said the nun.
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So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
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Aug 11 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: cop, drunk, friends, funny, hilarious, jokes, life, marriage, officer, police, taxes, wife
I’ll respect you in the morning.
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I’m from your government, and I am here to help you.
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You get this one, I’ll pay next time.
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My wife doesn’t understand me.
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Trust me, I’ll take care of everything.
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Of course I love you.
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I am getting a divorce.
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Drinking? Why, no, Officer.
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I never inhaled.
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It’s not the money, it’s the principle of the thing.
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I never watch television except for PBS.
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…but we can still be good friends.
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She means nothing to me.
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Aug 09 2009