Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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Once upon a time there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, he adored them, he yearned for them. But they always caused him a great deal of embarrassment shortly after eating them.
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One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he realized she might be even more embarrassed and humiliated by his addiction to baked beans. He decided to make the supreme sacrifice and give up his beloved baked beans. A short time later they were married.
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Some months later, on his way home from work, his car broke down. He was not too far from home so he decided to leave the car and walk the rest of the way. He passed a small roadside cafe and decided to call his wife and tell her that he would be late for supper. As he entered the cafe, the smell of baked beans overwhelmed him. He still had several miles to go, and decided that he could walk off any after-effects before reaching home. Before he knew it, he had eaten three large plates of baked beans. Even as he left the cafe, the effects began to be felt. He pooted up a hill, and poot-pooted down the other side. As he grew closer to home, the frequency and forcefulness diminished greatly, and he felt reasonably safe.
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Just as he reached his home, however, he felt a great rumbling inside and was seized with a terrible urgency. As he waited just outside his front door to release one last effort, his wife threw open the door. She excitedly exclaimed, “Darling, I have made the most wonderful surprise dinner for you.”
She blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the table. Just as she was ready to remove the blindfold, the phone rang. She made him promise not to peek until she returned and went to answer the phone.
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When she had gone, he seized the opportunity, shifted his weight to one leg and loudly broke wind. It was not only loud, but as ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he took his napkin
and began to fan the air about him. He just started feeling better when he felt another urge. He again raised one leg and let her rip. It sounded like a tuba and smelled so bad that he started gagging. He fanned until his arms ached. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another powerful
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Feb 27 2012
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW".
Tags: age, aroma, beans, beauty, bird, bliss, body, boobs, bowl, brandy, breakfast, breasts, calories, carrot, carrots, cheese, chicken, classic, cold, color, colors, comfort, diet, dinner, direction, directions, duty, eggs, era, exercise, fat, fats, fire, food, foods, fragrance, hand, hands, happiness, health, home, House, ice, ingredient, ingredients, job, joy, labor, meal, meat, milk, nutrition, odor, oil, onion, pasta, peas, pepper, period, plant, plants, recipe, restaurant, sacrifice, sandwich, sauce, scent, season, seasoning, service, smiles, snack, snacks, snow, stream, sugar, tablecloth, task, taste, thyme, time, touch, turkey, vegetable, vegetables, veggie, veggies, water, wine, work, yogurt
Classic Comfort Foods Made Healthy
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Here are blue plate specials with nutritious twists―so you can enjoy these beautiful dishes even more, without sacrificing one ounce of good taste.
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Beef Stroganoff
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Beef Stroganoff With Yogurt and Dill
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Serves 4| Hands-On Time: 25m | Total Time: 25m
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Ingredients
12 ounces multigrain noodles
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 pound sirloin steak, thinly sliced kosher salt and pepper
1 pound button mushrooms, sliced
4 shallots, sliced
1/2 cup dry white wine
1/4 cup nonfat Greek yogurt
1/4 cup chopped fresh dill
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- Calories 535 Calories From Fat 22%
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Directions
Cook the noodles according to the package directions. Meanwhile, heat 1 tablespoon of the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Season the steak with ¼ teaspoon each salt and pepper. In 2 batches, cook the steak until browned, about 1 minute per side. Transfer to a plate. Return the skillet to medium heat and add the remaining oil. Add the mushrooms and shallots; cook, stirring occasionally, until tender, 5 to 6 minutes. Add the wine and simmer until the liquid has reduced by half, 2 to 3 minutes. Return the beef and accumulated juices to the skillet and cook until
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Jan 12 2012
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW".
Tags: advice, antioxidant, appetite, bean, beans, bird, bliss, cake, cancer, chicken, chili, cold, color, colors, diet, duty, eggnog, eggs, energy, feeling, fiber, focus, food, fruit, fruits, habit, happiness, health, holiday, ice, ingredient, ingredients, inspiration, job, joy, labor, life, lifestyle, Mathematics, meal, meat, memory, mood, new year, oil, peas, pepper, plant, plants, power, protein, recipe, season, smiles, snack, snacks, snow, sugar, task, tips, veggie, veggies, vitamin, vitamins, winter
5 foods you should be eating….
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Sugary cakes. Glazed hams. Egg nog. That’s all behind you now. Wipe the slate clean and start the new year on a healthy note by focusing on vitamin-rich foods that you can incorporate into every meal going forward.
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The best way to reset your eating habits after the holidays is to stock your fridge with fresh, nutrient-rich foods that give you energy and improve your mood. Here’s a list of the top five:
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LENTILS
These beans are filled with high-quality vegetarian protein and fiber, which boost energy and mood. They’re inexpensive and they cook up in 30 minutes or less. Suggests making large pots of lentil soup or lentil chili so you can freeze the leftovers.
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BRUSSELS SPROUTS
Toss some Brussels sprouts on a baking sheet, add olive oil and salt, and then bake until they’re crispy. We have no doubt they will become your favorite veggie. Added bonus: They’re only 55 calories per cup and they help fight cancer and boost memory.
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Jan 05 2012
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW", Advice & Tips.
Tags: advice, age, alcohol, aroma, beer, brandy, champagne, christmas, cold, direction, directions, duty, eggnog, eggs, era, food, fragrance, gin, glasses, hands, holiday, ice, ingredient, ingredients, instruction, instructions, job, labor, liquor, Mathematics, milk, perfume, period, recipe, rum, scotch, season, service, snow, sugar, task, taste, tequila, time, tips, tool, tools, treats, vodka, weight, whiskey, wine, winter, work
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This favorite holiday drink is easier to make than you think; simply simmer together heavy cream, sugar, and nutmeg, then gradually combine with eggs in the blender.
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Serves 4 | Hands-On Time: 05m | Total Time: 20m
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Ingredients
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2 cups heavy cream
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
4 large eggs
3/4 cup brandy
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Directions
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1. In a medium saucepan, bring the heavy cream, sugar, and nutmeg just to a simmer.
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Dec 26 2011
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW", Advice & Tips.
Tags: ability, advice, appetite, argument, body, breakfast, calories, carrots, check, choices, cholesterol, diet, dieter, eggs, fat, feeling, fiber, fish, food, fruits, health, learning, lifestyle, man, Mathematics, meal, morning, nuts, power, protein, reason, research, secret, sign, signal, snacks, success, taste, time, tips, vegetable, veggies, weight, woman
It’s true: Apples can help you stay thin. (Thinkstock)
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You don’t need fancy plans or complicated point systems to be thin. All you need to do is make smart food choices, watch your portion sizes and stay active.
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“Learning to eat properly for a lifetime is more beneficial,” Korsberg said. “The emphasis should be on choosing healthful foods every day and changing lifestyles for the better.” .
So instead of sticking to diet fare, fill up on nutritious, wholesome foods. And if you need some recommendations, you can start with these five options, which are among the many delicious foods that make a good addition to healthy eating while keeping you slender.
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Apples
Apples are a good source of dietary fiber. Dietary fiber not only contributes to a healthy digestive system and reduced cholesterol, but it also benefits smart eaters by yielding no calories while keeping them satisfied.
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And there’s something else about the fruit that might help you feel full. A study in the journal Read More
Jul 08 2011
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW", Advice & Tips.
Tags: advice, aid, antioxidant, appetite, aroma, body, brain, broccoli, calcium, calories, carbohydrates, carrots, couple, day, diet, dieter, dinner, effect, eggs, fat, feast, fiber, flavor, food, fruits, health, heart, loss, lunch, man, Mathematics, meal, meat, morning, odor, oil, others, pepper, protein, recipe, research, result, rice, salad, scent, show, smell, snacks, stomach, sugar, taste, thought, tips, treats, vegetables, veggie, veggies, weight, wheat, woman, yogurt
11 Foods for Faster, Easier Weight Loss
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Hold this thought: To lose weight effectively and permanently, you need to eat. And eat smart. Happily, nature designed a lot of delicious edibles to turn up your fat-burning furnace, flatten your belly, and take a big bite out of your appetite.
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Here are 11 of the get-slim food gems we’re talking about. . . . .
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Yogurt
Mmmm. This creamy, tangy snack is loaded with calcium — and studies show that calcium may curtail weight gain by hindering the absorption of fat in the small intestine.
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Eggs
Turn breakfast into a fat-burning morning boost by skipping the stack of pancakes and feasting on
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Jun 01 2011