Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes, Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: abroad, accident, Africa, age, air, alcohol, America, attorney, awards, bar, beaches, beer, brandy, breakfast, bus, car, champagne, check, cheer, clerk, cold, cop, court, destination, dinner, doctor, dumb, era, family, finger, fingers, fire, food, fool, foreign, friends, friendship, funds, funny, gas, gin, glory, health, hilarious, history, home, honor, hospital, hotel, House, humor, ice, idiot, insurance, jail, jokes, journey, judge, laughter, lawyer, letter, license, liquor, magic, mail, man, Mathematics, memory, money, moron, motel, New York, nurse, officer, passenger, path, patient, patrolman, period, photos, physician, police, pub, restaurant, road, robber, rum scotch, sheriff, short, smiles, snack, snacks, snow, specialist, stupid, surgeon, tequila, ticket, time, tool, tools, traffic, train, travel, treats, trooper, vehicle, vodka, whiskey, wind, wine, winner, winter, woman, youth

.
The Darwins are out !!!!
.
Yes … it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
.
Here is the glorious winner:
.
1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
.
And now, the honorable mentions:
.
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
finger. The chef’s claim was approved.
.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable
and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3
days.
.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives
you money, is a crime committed?]
.
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
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Feb 06 2012
Posted: under "LOVE is LOVELY", "YUMMY FOOD FOR THOUGHT".
Tags: bliss, caring, companion, couple, destination, earth, embrace, eyes, family, food, friends, friendship, global, globe, happiness, heart, highway, honesty, humanity, husband, journey, joy, kindness, land, language, life, lifestyle, lifetime, listening, love, man, marriage, others, partner, passion, passionate, path, potential, power, reason, road, season, sharing, smiles, soul, spirit, spouse, thought, touch, universe, voice, wife, woman, words, world

.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch,
a smile, a kind word, a listening ear,
an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring,
all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
People come into our lives for a reason,
a season,
or
a lifetime!!
Embrace all equally!!!!
.

Jan 23 2012
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "LOVE is LOVELY", "Life is precious handle with PRAYER!", "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Inspirationals.
Tags: age, aid, aim, air, anxiety, baby, bank, belief, blessings, bliss, care, career, caring, charity, check, child, college, comfort, community, companion, compassion, contribution, couple, dad, depression, difference, donation, duty, earth, era, eyes, faith, family, father, father-in-law, finger, fingers, friends, friendship, funds, gas, gift, global, globe, goal, God, granny, gratitude, hand, hands, happiness, heart, history, home, House, hug, hugs, husband, idea, ideas, inspiration, job, joy, labor, land, language, life, lifestyle, lifetime, listening, love, man, marriage, memory, moment, money, mood, mother, mother-in-law, mountain, need, needs, neighbor, neighborhood, others, parents, partner, period, power, prayer, pride, reason, rivers, school, sharing, smiles, sound, spouse, stream, stress, surprise, task, thankfulness, thought, time, token, trust, truth, universe, voice, water, wealth, wife, wind, woman, words, work, world

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Whirlwind
==========
.
I have no idea why I am sitting here about to tell the world
about my situation, but maybe it will help someone.
.
A little over a year ago I found myself back home, working two
jobs, single, feeling alone and pregnant.
.
Now the reason for me being back home was so that I could save
some money so that I might be able to buy my first home. I was
working two jobs so that I could pay my current bills off.
.
I also wanted to start a new career. I was a nail tech and an
intake person. I was 28 years old, a single woman longing to be
married but finding myself alone and pregnant which I thought
would never happen.
.
My mother and step-father gave me the option to move in for one
year so that I could save a little faster. Well my year had
come to a close and it was time to go, if you know what I mean.
.
One day I felt like I was sitting in a chair in the middle of
the room and looking above only to see the whirlwind of my
problems going around me. I was like “wow if I get pulled up
into this mess I’d just keel over.” Well you know what happened
next. Our words do have power because all of a sudden it seems
as though I became trapped in this whirlwind.
.
I then began to give up until I remembered that God said that we
should cast all of our worries unto Him, so I began to pray a
prayer with all my heart. With faith I believed that He would
fix all of this, but I didn’t quite know how.
.
The next day while working at the nail shop around 5 p.m.,
I began to tell a client of mine about my situation. After
crying all over myself at the end of her appointment, she gave
me a big hug and said that I was strong and everything would
work itself out. Now that was the last thing that I wanted to
hear. I was in trouble and needed major help.
.
So by the end of my shift around 10 p.m. that client of mine who
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Jan 23 2012
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW", "LOVE is LOVELY".
Tags: African-American, age, America, Aretha Franklin, awards, baby, beaches, beauty, black, blacks, bliss, bracelet, bride, celebrity, ceremony, companion, couple, designer, diamonds, dinner, dress, earrings, elderly, engagement, era, family, fashion, friends, friendship, gift, gown, grammy, groom, hair, hairdo, hairstyle, happiness, history, holiday, Hollywood, humor, husband, icon, jewelry, journey, joy, lake, laughter, legend, life, lipstick, love, make-up, man, marriage, music, necklace, new year, ocean, partner, path, performer, period, pond, pool, present, pumps, queen, Queen of Soul, reception, ring, rivers, road, sea, season, seniors, singer, smiles, spouse, stream, style, suit, summer, surprise, time, token, tour, tourist, travel, trip, updo, voice, water, wedding, wife, winner, woman
Aretha Franklin is engaged….

.
Aretha Franklin is engaged to longtime friend William “Willie” Wilkerson.
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The Grammy-winning singer said in a statement Monday that she and Wilkerson are considering a summer wedding, perhaps in Miami Beach, Florida. The Queen of Soul wants to follow the ceremony with a reception on a private yacht.
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The 69-year-old jokes: “No, I’m not pregnant.”
.
Franklin and Wilkerson became engaged over the holidays.
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Jan 03 2012
Posted: under "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Advice & Tips, Inspirational Poetry, Inspirationals.
Tags: advice, age, aim, anxiety, belief, bliss, care, check, cheer, Christ, color, colors, comfort, day, depression, determination, direction, duty, encouragement, era, example, faith, family, friends, friendship, funds, goal, God, happiness, hope, inspiration, instruction, instructions, insurance, Jesus, job, journey, joy, King, labor, learning, life, light, Lord, love, man, money, moon, new year, others, path, perception, period, perseverance, relaxation, rest, road, role model, Savior, smiles, star, stress, success, sunset, sunshine, task, time, tips, tour, travel, trip, vehicle, war, winner, wishes, woman, work
“Seize the Day, greet the sun, welcome the moon, wish upon a star!”
- Annie Danielson
.

.
“DON’T QUIT”
.
When things go wrong as they sometimes will
When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.
(~)~(~)~(~)
Life is odd with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.
(~)~(~)~(~)
Success is failure turned inside out,
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Jan 01 2012
Posted: under "LOVE is LOVELY", Inspirationals.
Tags: action, age, aid, angel, angels, attitude, bank, beauty, behavior, blessings, bliss, body, care, caring, charity, check, cheer, Christ, christmas, church, cold, color, colors, community, contribution, day, donation, duty, earth, effort, era, example, eyes, family, friends, friendship, funds, gift, global, globe, God, hand, hands, happiness, history, hope, ice, inspiration, Jesus, job, joy, labor, language, laughter, life, lips, loan, Lord, love, man, memory, money, neighbor, neighborhood, others, peace, period, present, quotes, reason, reward, role model, Savior, season, sharing, smiles, snow, soul, spirit, surprise, task, thought, time, touch, universe, voice, wealth, winter, wishes, woman, words, work, world

.
Wishing you and those you love
a richly blessed day!!!
~~***~~***~~***~~***~~
REMEMBER
.
DO ALL THE GOOD
YOU CAN
IN ALL THE WAYS
YOU CAN
TO ALL THE PEOPLE
YOU CAN
JUST AS LONG AS
YOU CAN
– Anon.
~~***~~***~~***~~***~~
YOUR REWARD WILL BE GREAT DIVIDENDS !!!!!!!!!!
.

.
~~***~~***~~***~~***~~
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Dec 25 2011