Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "LOVE is LOVELY", Inspirationals.
Tags: accident, age, aid, aim, air, anger, assistance, bird, cemetery, children, Christ, concentration, creek, dad, devil, dinner, duck, duty, embrace, era, exam, eyes, family, farmer, father, fish, fishing, flight, focus, forgiveness, ghost, girl, goal, God, grand-dad, granny, history, home, House, hug, hugs, inspiration, Jesus, job, knowledge, labor, lake, land, life, lifestyle, lifetime, Little Johnny, love, lovingkindness, lunch, memories, memory, mother, mother-in-law, nature, obituary, ocean, parents, period, play, pond, practice, quiz, rivers, satan, sea, sin, sins, smiles, snack, snacks, surprise, task, test, time, tool, tools, trick, vision, whisper, wind, window, woods, work
There was a little boy visiting his grandparents
on their farm. He was given a slingshot
to play with, out in the woods.
He practiced in the woods, but he could never
hit the target. Getting discouraged,
he headed back to dinner.
. . .
As he was walking back, he saw Grandma’s
pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let fly,
hit the duck square in the head
and killed it. He was shocked and grieved.
In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile,
only to see his sister watching.
Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.
Jan 26 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, attorney, butt, car, cop, court, era, farmer, fool, funny, hilarious, horse, humor, idiot, jokes, journey, kindness, laughter, law, lawyer, license, moment, moral, moron, mountain, officer, patrolman, period, police, rectum, respect, road, rules, sheriff, show, smiles, stupid, ticket, time, tour, traffic, travel, trip, trooper, values, vehicle, weight
A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and
the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and
in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the
farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and
as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were
buzzing around his head.The farmer said, “Having some problems with circle flies there,
are ya?”
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: bird, chicken, duty, farmer, funny, hilarious, humor, Jamaican, job, jokes, labor, laughter, parrot, rooster, service, sex, smiles, task, work
A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster–one that would service all of his many hens. When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied: “I have just the rooster for you. Spike here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!” So the farmer took Spike back to the farm.
Before setting him loose in the hen house, though, he gave Spike a little pep talk: “Spike,” he said, “I’m counting on you to do your stuff.” And without a word, Spike strutted into the henhouse. Spike was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Spike had finished having his way with each hen.
Read More
Sep 13 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: bridge, bus, car, clerk, farmer, funny, highway, humor, identification, jokes, journey, language, laughter, letter, license, mail, noise, photos, road, service, short, smiles, sound, surprise, tour, tourist, traffic, travel, trip, truck, vehicle, voice, woman, words
While waiting in line at the Department of Vehicle Services
for my personalized license plate, I heard the clerk shout
out, “E I E I O.”
“I’m here,” the woman standing next to me answered.
Curious, I asked if she was a farmer or maybe taught
kindergarten.
Read More
Aug 30 2008
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: age, bishop, church, cow, designer, earth, elderly, era, excitement, farmer, fashion, fire, flame, food, funny, history, jokes, land, language, man, minister, morning, pants, pastor, period, pope, preacher, priest, reverend, seniors, sermon, service, short, style, suit, Sunday, thought, time, words, youth
On Sunday, the new young pastor arrived at church and found
only an old farmer had shown up.
After waiting a while, the disappointed pastor remarked
to the old farmer, “Well, it appears no one else is coming,
so we should probably cancel service today” Read More
Aug 29 2008
Posted: under "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Inspirationals.
Tags: advice, aid, amazement, anxiety, appreciation, astonishment, bliss, charity, contribution, depression, donation, donkey, duty, elderly, eyes, farmer, forgiveness, gift, happiness, heart, inspiration, job, joy, labor, law, lesson, life, lifestyle, lifetime, man, memories, memory, mind, neighbor, pool, present, rules, seniors, stress, surprise, task, tips, token, tool, tools, trick, water, well, woman, work, worries
Author Unknown
One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer’s neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our
Read More
Aug 27 2008