Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: action, age, air, attitude, behavior, body, boyfriend, choice, companion, couple, dad, decision, dinner, dog, era, eyes, family, fart, father, father-in-law, feeling, feelings, food, friends, friendship, funny, gas, girl, granny, health, hilarious, history, humor, jokes, language, laughter, legs, man, meal, mother, mother-in-law, parents, partner, period, rain, recipe, rivers, sleep, smiles, sound, stream, tablecloth, thought, ticket, time, train, treats, voice, water, woman, words
A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.
..
Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart. It wasn’t loud, but everyone at the table heard the poot. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman’s feet, and said in a rather stern voice, “Ginger!” The woman thought, “this is great!” and a big smile came across her face.
..
Read More
Apr 18 2009
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: age, belief, cat, cemetery, chance, chances, cheer, christmas, decision, enthusiasm, faith, family, father-in-law, future, ghost, gift, granny, growth, hand, hands, happiness, inspiration, joy, kindness, leader, learning, life, light, love, man, marriage, medication, medicine, mother-in-law, need, needs, opportunity, others, parents, present, rain, relationship, rivers, secret, secrets, surprise, water, woman
Here is one brief summary of a life’s learnings:
..
Age 5: I learned that things are easier when someone is holding your
hand.
..
Age 10: I learned to never blow in a cat’s ear.
..
Age 15: I learned that although it’s hard to admit it, I’m secretly
glad my parents are strict with me.
..
Age 20: I learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should
try cheering someone else up.
..
Age 25: I learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I
must live so that no one will believe it.
..
Age 30: I learned that there are people who love you dearly but just
don’t know how to show it.
..
Read More
Oct 28 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: care, check, child, courage, dad, drugs, elderly, father, father-in-law, funds, funny, granny, growth, hilarious, humor, jokes, laughter, Mathematics, medication, medicine, money, morning, mother, mother-in-law, penis, pharmacist, pharmacy, sex, sleep, smiles, strength, viagra
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.
When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son’s medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.
The son said, ‘I don’t think you should take one Dad; they’re very strong and very expensive.’
‘How much?’ asked Grandpa.
‘$10.00 a pill,’ Answered the son.
‘I don’t care,’ said Grandpa, ‘I’d still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I’ll put the money under the pillow.’
Read More
Oct 01 2008
Posted: under Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: age, beer, champagne, child, couple, drunk, father-in-law, funny, hilarious, husband, jokes, man, mother-in-law, parents, rum, sex, son-in-law, spouse, tequila, vibrator, vodka, whiskey, wife, wine, woman
AS A WOMAN PASSES HER DAUGHTER’S CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR, SHE HEARD A
STRANGE BUZZING NOISE COMING FROM WITHIN.
OPENING THE DOOR, SHE OBSERVED HER DAUGHTER GIVING HERSELF A REAL
WORKOUT WITH A VIBRATOR.
.
SHOCKED, SHE ASKED: “WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?”
THE DAUGHTER REPLIED: “MOM, I’M THIRTY-FIVE YEARS OLD, UNMARRIED, AND
THIS THING IS ABOUT AS CLOSE AS I’LL EVER GET TO A HUSBAND. PLEASE, GO
AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE.”
Read More
Sep 30 2008
Posted: under Inspirationals.
Tags: advice, age, aid, aim, air, America, anxiety, assurance, attendant, belief, bishop, boss, breakfast, bridge, burden, cemetery, children, choice, Christ, comfort, companion, computer, cross, dad, day, depression, destination, duty, earth, employee, employer, era, exam, eyes, faith, family, father, father-in-law, finger, fingers, fire, flame, flight, friends, friendship, ghost, global, globe, goal, God, granny, hand, hands, heart, Heaven, highway, history, home, hope, House, husband, inspiration, internet, Jesus, job, journey, King, labor, land, life, lifestyle, lifetime, load, London, Lord, love, magazine, man, manager, memories, memory, minister, moment, morning, mother, mother-in-law, newspaper, noise, obituary, ocean, online, others, pain, parents, partner, passenger, pastor, peace, period, pilot, plane, pool, pope, prayer, preacher, priest, promise, quiz, radio, reverend, rivers, road, Savior, sea, sheep, shepherd, show, smoke, soul, sound, spirit, spouse, stairs, stairwell, stress, supervisor, task, television, test, thought, time, tips, travel, universe, voice, water, weight, wife, wind, woman, work, world, worries
You say you will never forget where you were when you heard the news On September 11, 2001.
Neither will I.
I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room with a man who called his wife to say,
“Good-bye.”
I held his fingers steady as he dialed.
I gave him the peace to say,
“Honey, I am not going to make it, but it is OK…I am ready to go.”
I was with his wife when he called as she fed breakfast to their children. I held her up as she tried to understand his words and as she realized he wasn’t coming home that night.
I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a woman cried out to Me for help.
“I have been knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!”
I said. “Of course I will show you the way home - only believe in Me now.”
I was at the base of the building with the Priest ministering to the injured and devastated souls.
I took him home to tend to his Flock in Heaven. He heard my voice and answered.
I was on all four of those planes, in every seat, with every prayer. I was with the crew as they were overtaken.
I was in the very hearts of the believers there, comforting and assuring them that their faith had saved them.
I was in Texas, Kansas, and London. I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news.
Did you sense Me?
I want you to know that I saw every face. I knew every name -though not all knew Me.
Some met Me for the first time on the 86th floor.
Some sought Me with their last breath. Some couldn’t hear Me calling to them through the smoke
Read More
Sep 13 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: baby, beauty, child, couple, father-in-law, funny, hilarious, husband, jokes, man, marriage, parents, redneck, spouse, wife, woman
“An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare.
With that as his mission he began to search for the perfect woman.
Shortly thereafter he met a Redneck who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the Redneck and asked for permission to marry one of them. Read More
Aug 29 2008