Aaaahhhh, Jamaicans‏

Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
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This is hilarious! A true classic.


A lawyer and a Jamaican are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that Jamaicans are so dumb that he can fool them easy… So the lawyer asks if the Jamaican would like to play a fun game. 

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The Jamaican is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and says that the game is a lot of fun. 

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‘I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5; You ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.’
This catches the Jamaican’s attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. 

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The lawyer asks the first question. 

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‘What’s the distance from The Earth to the moon?’ 

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The Jamaican doesn’t say a word, reaches in his pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. 

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Now, it’s the Jamaican’s turn. 

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He asks the lawyer, ‘What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?’ 

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Comments (0) Feb 07 2012

Darwin Awards for 2011

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes, Short Funny Jokes.
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The Darwins are out !!!!  

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Yes … it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are  
  bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. 

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  Here is the glorious winner: 

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  1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim    
  during a hold-up in Long Beach , California  would-be robber James      
  Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the    
  barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.   

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  And now, the honorable mentions:         

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  2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting    
  machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his    
  insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its  
  men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a  
  finger. The chef’s claim was approved.   

.                              
                                                                            
  3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car      
  during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman  
  had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.  

.                      
                                                                            
  4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver  
  found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting    
  from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his            
  incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone  
  waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the      
  mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable 
  and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3  
  days.      

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  5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head 
  wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the  
  injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close 
  he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

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  6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the        
  counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,    
  the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which  
  the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and    
  fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he  
  got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives    
  you money, is a crime committed?]    

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  7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that 
  he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some  
  booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his  

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Comments (0) Feb 06 2012

A MountainWings Moment - Whirlwind‏

Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "LOVE is LOVELY", "Life is precious handle with PRAYER!", "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Inspirationals.
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Whirlwind
==========

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I have no idea why I am sitting here about to tell the world
about my situation, but maybe it will help someone.

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A little over a year ago I found myself back home, working two
jobs, single, feeling alone and pregnant.

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Now the reason for me being back home was so that I could save
some money so that I might be able to buy my first home. I was
working two jobs so that I could pay my current bills off.

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I also wanted to start a new career. I was a nail tech and an
intake person. I was 28 years old, a single woman longing to be
married but finding myself alone and pregnant which I thought
would never happen.

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My mother and step-father gave me the option to move in for one
year so that I could save a little faster. Well my year had
come to a close and it was time to go, if you know what I mean.

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One day I felt like I was sitting in a chair in the middle of
the room and looking above only to see the whirlwind of my
problems going around me. I was like “wow if I get pulled up
into this mess I’d just keel over.” Well you know what happened
next. Our words do have power because all of a sudden it seems
as though I became trapped in this whirlwind.

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I then began to give up until I remembered that God said that we
should cast all of our worries unto Him, so I began to pray a
prayer with all my heart. With faith I believed that He would
fix all of this, but I didn’t quite know how.

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The next day while working at the nail shop around 5 p.m.,
I began to tell a client of mine about my situation. After
crying all over myself at the end of her appointment, she gave
me a big hug and said that I was strong and everything would
work itself out. Now that was the last thing that I wanted to
hear. I was in trouble and needed major help.

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So by the end of my shift around 10 p.m. that client of mine who

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Comments (0) Jan 23 2012

Happy New Year!

Posted: under "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Advice & Tips, Inspirational Poetry, Inspirationals.
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“Seize the Day, greet the sun, welcome the moon, wish upon a star!”

- Annie Danielson
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“DON’T  QUIT”

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When things go wrong as they sometimes will

 

When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill,

 

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

 

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

 

When care is pressing you down a bit,

 

Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

 

(~)~(~)~(~)

 

Life is odd with its twists and turns,

 

As everyone of us sometimes learns

 

And many a failure turns about,

 

When he might have won had he stuck it out.

 

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow,

 

You may succeed with another blow.

 

(~)~(~)~(~)

 

Success is failure turned inside out,

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Comments (0) Jan 01 2012

Merry Christmas!!!

Posted: under "LOVE is LOVELY", Inspirationals.
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Wishing  you  and  those  you  love

 

a  richly  blessed  day!!!

 

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REMEMBER

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DO  ALL  THE  GOOD

YOU  CAN

 

IN  ALL  THE  WAYS

YOU  CAN

 

TO  ALL  THE  PEOPLE

YOU  CAN

 

JUST  AS  LONG  AS

YOU  CAN

 

– Anon.

~~***~~***~~***~~***~~

YOUR  REWARD  WILL  BE  GREAT  DIVIDENDS !!!!!!!!!!

.

 

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~~***~~***~~***~~***~~

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Comments (0) Dec 25 2011

Smilin’ … Stylin’ … Caring and Sharing !!!!

Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "DID YOU KNOW", Inspirationals.
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Michelle Obama attends a St. Patrick's Day reception at the White House on March 17, 2011

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As the First Lady of the United States, Michelle Obama has become a role model in the awareness arena for healthy eating, sharing her  homegrown recipes via her cookbook. Next celebrity chef?  She has also become a fashion icon and has been named by Forbes Magazine as the eighth most powerful woman in the world.

 

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Michelle Obama appears on the

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Michelle Obama speaks at the Democratic National Committee's Women's Leadership Forum, May 19, 2011.

First lady Michelle Obama speaks at the Democratic National Committee’s Women’s Leadership Forum in Washington….

 

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Michelle Obama speaks on the South Lawn of the White House in Washington, Oct. 17, 2011

First lady Michelle Obama speaks on the South Lawn of the White House in Washington, Monday, Oct. 17, 2011, during an event to honor schools that met the first lady’s goal to double the number of participants in the HealthierUS School Challenge in year.

 

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Michelle Obama attends cultural performances in Brasilia, Brazil, March 19, 2011.

Michelle Obama attends cultural performances in Brasilia, Brazil….

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Michelle Obama introduces President Barack Obama at a DNC fundraiser at Gotham Hall, New York

Michelle Obama introduces President Barack Obama at a DNC fundraiser at Gotham Hall, New York-

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Michelle Obama gestures before introducing her husband President Barack Obama at a DNC fundraiser at Gotham Hall in New York. She’s mingled barefoot among Aspen’s elite, stirred a Vermont utility executive to tears and bucked up disenchanted New Yorkers. The 2012 presidential campaign is well under way for Michelle Obama, and the first lady is promising to put herself into the election effort like never before. More than a year from Election Day, she is hauling in millions in campaign cash and sketching a portrait of her husband drawn with an intimacy that no one else could duplicate.

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Michelle Obama delivers a commencement address for the Quantico Middle/High School in Quantico, Va., June 3, 2011.

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Michelle Obama speaks to children at Christ Church College in Oxford, England.

Michelle Obama speaks to children at Christ Church College in Oxford, England.-
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Michelle Obama speaks to children from Elizabeth Garrett Anderson school in London as they visit Christ Church College in Oxford, England.

 

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Comments (0) Dec 18 2011