Posted: under Jamaican Jokes, Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: cat, child, children, choice, dad, dialect, dinner, exam, father, father-in-law, food, funny, goat, granny, hilarious, home, House, humor, Jamaican, jokes, language, laughter, meal, meat, mother, mother-in-law, noise, patois, pussy, quiz, smiles, son, sound, surprise, test, treats, vagina, vernacular, voice, words
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A woman cooked goat meat but didn’t tell the kids what it was.
They asked for a clue and she told them it was dad’s favorite.
The son screamed,
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Mar 08 2012
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: age, baby, birth, birthday, bliss, doctor, era, exam, eyes, focus, food, funny, gynecologist, happiness, hilarious, history, hospital, humor, jokes, joy, language, laughter, medication, medicine, memories, memory, milk, nurse, office, pain, patient, period, physician, pill, pills, quiz, robber, short, smiles, sound, specialist, sugar, surgeon, surprise, test, thief, time, treats, voice, woman, words
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When the patient was wheeled into the delivery room,
she told me, “I remember you from the last time I
gave birth.”
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I was thrilled, especially since it had been a few
years. “Do you really remember me?” I asked, milking
it.
.
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Mar 08 2012
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: aroma, beans, care, duty, exam, food, funny, granny, hilarious, home, House, humor, job, jokes, labor, language, laughter, meal, mother, mother-in-law, odor, peas, quiz, scent, short, smell, smiles, task, taste, test, tool, tools, words, work
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Mom, what are you cooking??
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It’s bean soup!
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Mar 08 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: aid, assignment, care, child, children, class, classroom, concern, day, duty, exam, family, focus, fool, friends, friendship, funny, granny, hand, hands, hilarious, holiday, holidays, home, homework, House, humor, idiot, job, jokes, labor, laughter, love, moron, pencil, Professor, quiz, reading, school, silly, smiles, son, stupid, surprise, task, teacher, test, thought, tool, tools, tutor, vacation, work
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Homework
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Two boys, Kelley and Mackenzie, are in the same class
at school. They are best friends.
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Mackenzie went away on a vacation and
Kelley offered to pick up his homework for the week.
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At the end of the week, his mom asked, “Where is
Mackenzie’s homework?”
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“Well, I dit it,” he replied. “I didn’t want him
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Mar 08 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: accident, age, aid, anxiety, attorney, barn, bridge, car, country, cow, destination, era, farmer, funny, highway, hilarious, history, humor, jokes, journey, language, laughter, lawyer, license, man, Mathematics, movement, noise, path, period, pig, rabbi, religion, repairs, road, sleep, smiles, sound, surprise, time, tour, tourist, traffic, trick, trip, vehicle, words
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A Rabbi, A Hindu and a Lawyer
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A Rabbi, a Hindu and a lawyer were driving late at night in the
country when their car expired. They set out to find help, and
came to a farmhouse. When they knocked at the door, the farmer
explained that he had only two beds, and one of the three had to
sleep in the barn with the animals. The three quickly agreed.
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The Rabbi said he would sleep in the barn and let the other two
have the beds. Ten minutes after the Rabbi left, there was a
knock on the bedroom door. The Rabbi entered exclaiming,
“I can’t sleep in the barn; there is a pig in there.
It’s against my religion to sleep in the same room with a pig!”
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The Hindu said HE would sleep in the barn, as he had no
religious problem with pigs. However, about five minutes later,
the Hindu burst through the bedroom door saying, “There’s a COW
in the barn! I can’t sleep in the same room as a cow!
It’s against my religion!”
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The lawyer, anxious to get to sleep, said he’d go to the barn,
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Mar 07 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, air, arm, arms, aroma, beans, birth, birthday, bridge, car, cemetery, companion, couple, decision, destination, dinner, duty, effect, eggs, era, family, fart, feeling, flowers, food, force, fragrance, friends, funny, gas, ghost, girl, hand, hands, highway, hilarious, history, home, House, humor, husband, job, jokes, journey, labor, language, laughter, legs, love, man, marriage, movement, noise, obituary, odor, partner, party, passion, path, peas, perfume, period, phone, power, prize, promise, repairs, restaurant, road, sacrifice, scent, smell, smiles, sound, spouse, surprise, tablecloth, task, time, travel, trip, vehicle, weight, wife, wind, winner, woman, words, work
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Once upon a time there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, he adored them, he yearned for them. But they always caused him a great deal of embarrassment shortly after eating them.
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One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he realized she might be even more embarrassed and humiliated by his addiction to baked beans. He decided to make the supreme sacrifice and give up his beloved baked beans. A short time later they were married.
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Some months later, on his way home from work, his car broke down. He was not too far from home so he decided to leave the car and walk the rest of the way. He passed a small roadside cafe and decided to call his wife and tell her that he would be late for supper. As he entered the cafe, the smell of baked beans overwhelmed him. He still had several miles to go, and decided that he could walk off any after-effects before reaching home. Before he knew it, he had eaten three large plates of baked beans. Even as he left the cafe, the effects began to be felt. He pooted up a hill, and poot-pooted down the other side. As he grew closer to home, the frequency and forcefulness diminished greatly, and he felt reasonably safe.
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Just as he reached his home, however, he felt a great rumbling inside and was seized with a terrible urgency. As he waited just outside his front door to release one last effort, his wife threw open the door. She excitedly exclaimed, “Darling, I have made the most wonderful surprise dinner for you.”
She blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the table. Just as she was ready to remove the blindfold, the phone rang. She made him promise not to peek until she returned and went to answer the phone.
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When she had gone, he seized the opportunity, shifted his weight to one leg and loudly broke wind. It was not only loud, but as ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he took his napkin
and began to fan the air about him. He just started feeling better when he felt another urge. He again raised one leg and let her rip. It sounded like a tuba and smelled so bad that he started gagging. He fanned until his arms ached. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another powerful
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Feb 27 2012