| GOOD SAMARITAN..
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the
Good Samaritan.
She asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all
wounded and
bleeding, what would you do?”
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d throw
up.”
..
DID NOAH FISH?
..
A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a
lot of fishing when
he was on the Ark ?” “No,” replied Johnny.
“How could he, with just two worms.”
..
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
..
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most
quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23 .
She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.
Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn’t remember the Psalm.
After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation,
Ricky was so nervous.
When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,
“The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.”
..
UNANSWERED PRAYER
..
The preacher’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always
paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon.
One day, she asked him why. “Well, Honey,” he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a
good sermon.”
“How come He doesn’t answer it?” she asked.
..
BEING THANKFUL
..
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, “So your mother
says your prayers for you each night?
That’s very commendable.
What does she say?”
The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”
..
ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
..
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).
For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli
would say, “and all girls.”
This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing.
My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, “Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?”
Her response, “Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying ‘All Men’!”
..
SAY A PRAYER
..
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
Grandmother’s house.
Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.
When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.
“Johnny!
Read More
 Dec 06 2011
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: anger, brain, cemetery, companion, couple, devil, duty, exam, funny, ghost, government, hilarious, humor, husband, interview, job, jokes, labor, language, laughter, man, Mathematics, mind, obituary, partner, satan, skill, skills, smiles, sound, spouse, task, test, thought, time, tool, tools, voice, wife, woman, words, work
.
There was an opening for an assassin at the FBI.
Three people applied for the job, two men and a woman.
All three were called in to interview on the same day.
..
First up was Ed. Ed walked into the room, and was asked
do you have what it takes to do this job? Ed quickly replied,
yes I do. The man then handed Ed a gun and was told that
his wife was in the next room - kill her.
..
Ed said there is
no way that I could kill my wife. The man then replied, you’re
free to go.
..
Next up was Bob. The man handed Bob a gun and said
your wife is in the next room - kill her. Bob went into the next
Read More
Jun 22 2011
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: cemetery, cold, companion, couple, funny, ghost, heart, Heaven, hilarious, home, House, humor, husband, ice, jokes, language, laughter, man, obituary, partner, peace, sleep, smiles, snow, spouse, television, wife, woman, words
 .
1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.
2nd woman: Hi! I’m Kelly. How’d you die?
..
1st woman: I Froze to Death.
2nd woman: How Horrible!
..
1st woman: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
..
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act.
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Jun 21 2011
Posted: under "A Scripture A Day Keeps The Devil Away", Inspirationals.
Tags: angel, blessings, body, cemetery, Christ, church, day, Easter, faith, ghost, glory, God, Good Friday, government, Heaven, holiness, home, House, humanity, inspiration, Jesus, language, life, Lord, love, man, Mathematics, minister, others, pastor, praises, preacher, priest, resurrection, Savior, scripture, soul, spirit, woman, words
.
One Guy Didn’t
.
Three guys were tried for crimes against humanity.
Two guys committed crimes.
One guy didn’t.
.
Three guys were given government trials.
Two guys had fair trials.
One guy didn’t.
.
Three guys were whipped and beaten.
Two guys had it coming.
One guy didn’t.
.
Three guys were given crosses to carry.
Two guys earned their crosses.
One guy didn’t.
.
Three guys were mocked and spit at along the way.
Two guys cursed and spit back.
One guy didn’t.
.
Three guys were nailed to crosses.
Two guys deserved it.
One guy didn’t.
.
Three guys talked while they were hung on their crosses.
Read More
May 18 2011
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