Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bar, beer, celebration, champagne, doctor, drunk, friends, funny, gin, hilarious, Ireland, Irish, jokes, laughter, man, physician, pub, rum, scotch, specialist, tequila, vodka, whiskey, wife, wine
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An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the eye and said, “I’ve got some bad news for you…you have the cancer and it can’t be cured. I’d give you two weeks to a month.” Murphy, shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor’s office into the waiting room.
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There he saw his son who had been waiting. Murphy said, “Son, we Irish celebrate when things are good and celebrate when things don’t go so well. In this case, things aren’t so well. I have cancer and I’ve been given a short time to live. Let’s head for the pub and have a few pints.”
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After three or four pints the two were feeling a little less sober. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of Murphy’s old friends who asked what the two were celebrating. Murphy told them that the Irish celebrate the good and the Read More
Mar 17 2010
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, alcohol, bar, beer, champagne, drunk, era, Europe, fool, funny, gin, graduation, hilarious, humor, idiot, Ireland, Irish, jokes, laughter, liquor, man, Mathematics, money, moron, pub, rum, school, scotch, smiles, tequila, time, twins, vodka, whiskey, wine
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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
“Why of course,” comes the reply.
The first man then asks: “Where are you from?”
“I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man.
The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too!
Let’s have another round to Ireland.”
“Of Course,” replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks: “Where in Ireland are you from?”
“Dublin,” comes the reply.
“I can’t believe it,” says the first man.
“I’m from Dublin too! Let’s have another drink to Dublin.”
“Of course,” replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: “What school did you go to?”
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bar, beer, butt, champagne, drinks, drunk, funny, gin, hilarious, humor, jokes, laughter, man, New York City, personality, rum, scotch, smiles, vodka, whiskey, wine, woman
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:
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Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
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Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the buttocks.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
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Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows exactly what she wants.
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, bar, beer, brandy, champagne, cheer, drunk, funny, gin, hilarious, humor, jokes, laughter, light, liquor, music, nun, priest, restaurant, rum, scotch, smiles, tequila, time, vodka, whiskey, wine
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A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.
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The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while ‘the lights would turn off.’
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Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
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However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
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She walked up to the bartender, and asked, ‘May I please use the restroom?
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The bartender replied, ‘OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.’
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‘Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,’ said the nun.
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So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
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Read More
Aug 11 2009
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: age, alcohol, bar, beer, blessings, bliss, cemetery, champagne, choice, dad, drunk, duty, elderly, family, father, ghost, gift, gin, God, hands, happiness, job, joy, language, laughter, life, liquor, love, money, psalm, quotes, rum, scotch, scripture, seniors, smiles, task, tequila, time, today, truth, whiskey, wine, words, work, youth
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God has been most wonderfully good to us. When you
feel downhearted or discouraged, begin to count your blessings.
~ Anna Dengel, MMS
*** *** ***
“Happiness is a dividend on a well-invested life.”
– Duncan Stuart
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Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, bar, beer, bird, champagne, channel, children, computer, cop, dinner, dog, drugs, drunk, elderly, funny, gin, grown ups, hilarious, home, House, humor, internet, jokes, laughter, liquor, marriage, Mathematics, money, movie, officer, online, patrolman, pharmacist, pharmacy, police, relaxation, rest, restaurant, rum, scotch, seniors, sex, sheriff, sign, sleep, smiles, tequila, test, time, trooper, vacation, vodka, weather, whiskey, wine, youth
1. Your house plants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
Read More
Jun 20 2009