Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: accomplishment, action, age, air, airplane, bliss, candle, christmas, computer, concert, era, exam, excitement, eyes, fan, fans, fire, flame, friends, friendship, girl, glasses, goodness, happiness, history, holiday, holidays, Hollywood, home, hope, House, humor, inspiration, internet, invention, joy, laughter, learning, letter, life, lifestyle, lifetime, light, lighthouse, magazine, mail, man, Mathematics, morning, movie, music, newspaper, office, online, others, pencil, perfection, period, potential, quiz, radio, reading, reflection, show, smiles, smoke, student, success, surprise, television, test, time, title, torch, vision, wind, woman
.
One woman laughs about the time she took her 14-year-old daughter and
her daughter’s best friend to a Peter, Paul and Mary concert. They
were all fans of “oldies” music from the 60’s and 70’s and felt lucky
to get front row seats. When they returned home, her daughter said,
“During the show, we looked back and saw hundreds of little lights
swaying to the music. At first we thought the people were holding up
cigarette lighters. Then we realized that the lights were the
reflections off all the eyeglasses in the audience.” (Thanks to
“Reader’s Digest”)
My eyesight isn’t what it used to be, either. But as Helen Keller (who
could neither hear nor see) said, “The greatest tragedy in life is
people who have sight but no vision.” Maybe I should be more concerned
with my vision than with my eyesight.
Read More
Nov 23 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, body, brain, check, cold, country, day, elderly, era, exercise, funds, funny, glasses, granny, health, hilarious, humor, ice, jokes, laughter, life, lifestyle, man, money, morning, mother, mother-in-law, race, seniors, smiles, sport, time, weight, woman
1. It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you, at age 85, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month.
2. My grandmother started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She is now 97 and we don’t know where the hell she is.
3. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
4. I joined a health club last year, spent about $400. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
5. I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I am doing.
6. I don’t exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.
7. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Read More
Oct 16 2008
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: abroad, accident, anger, anxiety, baby, behavior, boobs, breasts, bus, cab, car, check, community, companion, compliment, cop, country, couple, cure, depression, dialect, duty, earth, eyes, fashion, favor, feeling, feelings, fool, foreign, funds, funny, glasses, global, globe, gold, health, highway, hilarious, homeless, hotel, humor, husband, idiot, Jamaica, Jamaican, job, jokes, journey, Kingston, labor, land, language, laughter, letter, license, man, money, morning, moron, motel, music, neighbor, neighborhood, officer, others, partner, path, patois, patrolman, penis, phone, policeman, private, prostitute, pussy, reggae, road, sex, sheriff, smiles, sound, Spanish Town, spouse, stress, stupid, style, sunglasses, system, task, taxes, taxi, teeth, time, touch, tour, tourist, traffic, travel, trip, trooper, truck, universe, vagina, vehicle, vernacular, village, voice, weight, whore, wife, woman, words, work, world
You have probably heard that they will be putting toll booths on parts of Highway 2000 in JA. This is probably what the first day will be like:
..
Toll Booth Collector: Morning sir, the toll will be $55.
Skinny the Taximan: $55 unda yuh Mumma! Yuh know how long mi a drive pon dis yah road yah and now oonu want come charge man fi drive pon we owna road. Is kill oonu want kill off poor people! Mi naw pay dat!
..
TB Collector: Sir, you don’t have a choice, please pay the toll or I’ll be forced to call the officer standing right over there.
Skinny: Which officer yuh a talk bout? Weh part him deh?
..
TB Collector: Yuh see the officer standing over there with the gold-teeth, the dark glasses, the bend-up face, and the M-16? Yes dat same one?
Read More
Oct 12 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes, Games.
Tags: accident, brain, breakfast, bus, car, cat, cemetery, cow, dementia, depression, devil, effort, elderly, exam, exercise, flight, food, friends, funny, game, Germany, ghost, glasses, hand, hilarious, home, hope, House, humor, jokes, lake, language, laughter, London, man, Mathematics, mind, obituary, ocean, pencil, pilot, plane, pool, quiz, rain, reading, relaxation, rest, rivers, satan, sea, seniors, smiles, stream, stress, survivor, test, time, tool, tools, traffic, truck, vehicle, voice, water, woman, words, world
Take this dementia test…
…
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it’s important that we keep mentally alert. The saying; “If you don’t use it, you will lose it,” also applies to the brain, so….. Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the following test and determine if you are losing it or are still “with it.”
-
-
OK, relax, clear your mind and…. begin.
Read More
Oct 10 2008
Posted: under "LOVE is LOVELY", "Life is precious handle with PRAYER!", "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Inspirationals.
Tags: ant, Bible, blessings, Christ, day, earth, eyes, father, friends, glasses, global, globe, God, inspiration, life, Lord, love, prayer, Savior, scripture, smiles, source, universe, woman, world
“It’s LOVE that make the world go ’round . . . !”
* * *
Enjoy every moment of This Day! Praying that God keeps YOU Covered in Every Step YOU Take. Stay Safe, Find a reason to SMILE and to put a SMILE on Someone else’s Face, cause I Said So (smile)!
>>>
The Ant and the Contact Lens: a True Story
*****
Brenda was almost halfway to the top of the tremendous granite cliff. She was standing on a ledge where she was taking a breather during this, her first rock climb. As she rested there, the safety rope snapped against her eye and knocked out her contact lens.
‘Great’, she thought. ‘Here I am on a rock ledge, hundreds of feet from the bottom and hundreds of feet to the top of this cliff, and now my sight is blurry.’
She looked and looked, hoping that somehow it had landed on the ledge. But it just wasn’t there.
She felt the panic rising in her, so she began praying. She prayed for calm, and she prayed that she may find her contact lens.
When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the lens, but it was not to be found. Although she was calm now that she was at the top, she was saddened because she could not clearly see across the range of mountains. She thought of the bible verse ‘The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth.’
She thought, ‘Lord, You can see all these mountains. You know every stone and leaf, and You know exactly where my contact lens is. Please help me.’
Later, when they had hiked down the trail to the bottom of the cliff they met another
Read More
Sep 25 2008
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, bar, beer, brandy, champagne, companion, couple, destination, dialect, drunk, funny, Genie, gin, glasses, highway, hilarious, home, House, humor, husband, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, journey, Kingston, language, laughter, legs, liquor, magic, man, partner, party, path, patois, penis, pub, road, rum, scotch, smiles, spouse, tablecloth, taste, tequila, tour, tourist, traffic, travel, trip, vernacular, vodka, voice, whiskey, wife, wine, wish, wishes, woman, words
A Jamaican is strolling down the street in Kingston and kicks a bottle lying in the street.
Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie.
The Jamaican is stunned, and the Genie says,
“Hello master, I will grant you one wish, anything you want.”
The Jamaican begins thinking, “Well, I really like drinking rum.”
Finally the Jamaican says, “Is rum me like fe drink, mek me pee
rum,” man!
Read More
Sep 18 2008