Darwin Awards for 2011

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes, Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

photo

.

The Darwins are out !!!!  

.                                              
 

 

Yes … it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are  
  bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. 

.                         
                                                                            
  Here is the glorious winner: 

.                                           
                                                                            
  1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim    
  during a hold-up in Long Beach , California  would-be robber James      
  Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the    
  barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.   

.             
                                                                            
  And now, the honorable mentions:         

.                               
                                                                            
  2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting    
  machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his    
  insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its  
  men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a  
  finger. The chef’s claim was approved.   

.                              
                                                                            
  3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car      
  during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman  
  had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.  

.                      
                                                                            
  4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver  
  found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting    
  from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his            
  incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone  
  waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the      
  mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable 
  and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3  
  days.      

.                                                              
                                                                            
  5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head 
  wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the  
  injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close 
  he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

.               
                                                                            
  6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the        
  counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,    
  the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which  
  the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and    
  fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he  
  got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives    
  you money, is a crime committed?]    

.                                    
                                                                            
  7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that 
  he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some  
  booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his  

Read More

Comments (0) Feb 06 2012

The ABCs of Inspiration

Posted: under Inspirational Poetry, Inspirationals.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

photo

The ABCs of Inspiration

.

A lthough things are not perfect

..

B ecause of trial or pain

..

C ontinue in thanksgiving

..

D o not begin to blame

..

E ven when the times are hard

..

F ierce winds are bound to blow

..

G od is forever able

..

H old on to what you know

..

I magine life without His love

..

J oy would cease to be

..

K eep thanking Him for all the things

..

L ove imparts to thee

..

M ove out of “Camp Complaining”

..

N o weapon that is known

..

O n earth can yield the power

..

P raise can do alone

..

Q uit looking at the future

..

R edeem the time at hand

..

S tart every day with worship

..

T o “thank” is a command

..

Read More

Comments (0) May 30 2011

One Guy Didn’t

Posted: under "A Scripture A Day Keeps The Devil Away", Inspirationals.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

photo

.

One Guy Didn’t

.

Three guys were tried for crimes against humanity.
Two guys committed crimes.
One guy didn’t.

.

Three guys were given government trials.
Two guys had fair trials.
One guy didn’t.

.

Three guys were whipped and beaten.
Two guys had it coming.
One guy didn’t.

.

Three guys were given crosses to carry.
Two guys earned their crosses.
One guy didn’t.

.

Three guys were mocked and spit at along the way.
Two guys cursed and spit back.
One guy didn’t.

.

Three guys were nailed to crosses.
Two guys deserved it.
One guy didn’t.

.

Three guys talked while they were hung on their crosses.

Read More

Comments (0) May 18 2011

Love In The Home

Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

photo

.

Love In The Home

.

 If I live in a house of spotless beauty with everything in its place, but have

not love, I am a housekeeper – not a homemaker.

.

If I have time for waxing, polishing, and decorative achievements, but have

not love, my children learn cleanliness – not godliness.

.

Love leaves the dust in search of a child’s laugh.
Love smiles at the tiny fingerprints on a newly cleaned window.

.

Love wipes away the tears before it wipes up the spilled milk.
Love picks up the child before it picks up the toys.

.

Love is present through the trials.

Love reprimands, reproves,and is responsive.

.

Love crawls with the baby, walks with the toddler, runs with the child, then

Read More

Comments (0) Feb 22 2011

I Am The Flag

Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW", General Poetry, Inspirational Poetry.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Yankee Doodle/Patriotic Poetry
I Am The Flag
.

Image

.

I am the flag of the United States of America.
.
I was born on June 14, 1777, in Philadelphia.
.
There the Continental Congress adopted my stars and stripes as the
national flag.
.
My thirteen stripes alternating red and white, with a union of
thirteen white stars in a field of blue, represented a new
constellation, a new nation dedicated to the personal and religious
liberty of mankind.
.
Today fifty stars signal from my union, one for each of the fifty
sovereign states in the greatest constitutional republic the world has
ever known.
.
My colors symbolize the patriotic ideals and spiritual qualities of
the citizens of my country.
.
My red stripes proclaim the fearless courage and integrity of American
men and boys and the self-sacrifice and devotion of American mothers
and daughters.
.
My white stripes stand for liberty and equality for all.
.
My blue is the blue of heaven, loyalty, and faith.
.
I represent these eternal principles: liberty, justice, and humanity.
.
I embody American freedom: freedom of speech, religion, assembly, the

Read More

Comments (0) May 31 2010

Memorial Day Quotes

Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Have a Happy and Wonderfully Blessed Memorial Day!

.

15 Sayings For The Holiday

.

 Image

.

Memorial Day quotes provide inspiration and help honor this annual holiday.

.

It’s time for Memorial Day quotes with Memorial Day taking place on Monday, May 31, 2010.

.

Here’s a roundup of some of the best Memorial Day quotes and sayings to share with loved ones and honor those who have gone before us.

.

Feel free to share your favorite or provide your own quotes and tributes in the comments below.

……

They hover as a cloud of witnesses above this Nation. -Henry Ward Beecher

..

Who kept the faith and fought the fight; The glory theirs, the duty ours. -Wallace Bruce

..

A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself. -Joseph Campbell

..

The patriot’s blood is the seed of Freedom’s tree. -Thomas Campbell

..

Read More

Comments (0) May 31 2010