Net Miles Of Smiles

I once talked with a couple about their marriage. They completed
personality “testing” and were discussing some differences that had
frustrated them both over the years. I summarized some of those
differences for them.

“You are sensitive,” I said to the husband. He nodded affirmatively.
“You try to keep harmony in the relationship. It is important to you
that you don’t have too much conflict, so you tend to give in often
in order to keep the peace.” He agreed. Read More

Comments (0) Oct 03 2008

A Matter Of Priorities
Letting Go Of The Little Stuff

We experience numerous disappointments each and every day. Our expectations go unmet, our plans are blocked by circumstance, our wishes go unfulfilled, and we discover that our lives are subject to a myriad of forces beyond our conscious control. In some cases, our response is powerful because we must invest ourselves and our resources to overcome genuine hardship. In others, our reactions are far more passionate than our circumstances likely warrant. The tension that permeates our bodies and minds when we are late for an event, interrupted at work, or sitting in traffic is not inappropriate, but it can interfere with our well-being in profound ways. When we stop worrying about relatively unimportant matters, we can be at peace and devote so much more of ourselves to what is truly important.

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The small frustrations and irritations wield such power over us because they rob us of the illusion of control. But every problem is a potential teacher—a confusing situation is an opportunity to practice mindfulness, and difficult people provide us with opportunities to display compassion. There is a natural human tendency to invest copious amounts of emotional energy in minor dilemmas and frustrations in order to avoid confronting those more complex issues that are largely outside the realm of our control. The intensity of our response provides us with a temporary sense of personal power that helps us cope with

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Comments (2) Sep 03 2008