Posted: under "A Scripture A Day Keeps The Devil Away", Inspirationals.
Tags: action, advice, age, aid, aim, arm, arms, assistance, attitude, beauty, behavior, belief, blessings, bliss, boy, care, caring, charity, cheer, cheerfulness, Christ, commandments, compassion, concentration, concern, contribution, courage, courtesy, cure, day, desire, donation, earth, embrace, encouragement, era, example, eyes, faith, family, feeling, feelings, finger, fingers, focus, food, force, friends, friendship, fruit, fruits, generosity, gift, girl, global, globe, glory, goal, God, goodness, gratitude, hand, hands, happiness, healing, heart, history, holiness, Holy Spirit, hope, hug, hugs, humanity, humility, inspiration, Jesus, joy, kindness, King, kisses, land, language, laughter, leader, legs, life, lifestyle, lifetime, listening, Lord, love, lovingkindness, man, might, nature, neighbor, neighborhood, obedience, offer, others, period, personality, plan, plans, plant, plants, power, practice, praise, praises, prayer, present, promise, promises, psalm, Redeemer, redemption, role model, salvation, Savior, scripture, seed, seeds, sharing, sheep, shepherd, smiles, soil, son, soul, spirit, strength, sugar, surprise, teaching, thankfulness, thought, time, tips, today, token, touch, treats, universe, vision, woman, wonder, words, world
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: age, aid, anxiety, bank, belief, brain, bridge, burden, care, caring, check, community, compassion, contribution, cross, decision, depression, destination, dialect, donation, era, exam, example, exercise, eyes, faith, funds, funny, gift, God, heart, highway, hilarious, history, home, hope, House, humor, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, journey, language, laughter, legs, letter, listening, load, loan, love, mail, man, mind, model, money, neighbor, office, others, pain, path, patois, pencil, period, prayer, present, quiz, reading, road, robber, role model, sharing, smiles, spirit, stress, struggles, surprise, test, thief, thought, time, token, traffic, travel, trial, trials, trip, trust, vernacular, village, weight, woman, wonder, words, worries, worry
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A man became desperate after praying to God to help him. Not seeing any help coming to him he decided to write to God instead.
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He wrote, “Gad mi tiad fi pray an yuh nah ansa mi. Sumtime mi wanda if yuh caan hear mi. Suh mi tink it betta fi mi write yuh caa mi kno yuh wi read it.
Gad mi bruk an only a beg yuh 3 tousand dallas. Tanx!”
.
He went to the post office and mailed his letter to
Heaven District, Heaven P.O.
The post mistress not knowing where to send the letter decided to read it.
.
Moved by it, all the workers contributed money but could only arrive at 2500 dollars. Regardless,
they sent it to the man
.
A few weeks later he picked up his mail at the post office, rushed home and was shocked to find only Read More
Mar 08 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, attention, bar, beer, bishop, brandy, champagne, church, decision, devil, drunk, evil, exam, example, eyes, focus, funny, gin, Heaven, hell, hilarious, humor, jokes, language, laughter, legs, liquor, listening, man, minister, noise, others, pastor, perception, pope, preacher, priest, pub, quiz, reverend, rum, satan, scotch, sermon, sleep, smiles, sound, Sunday, surprise, tequila, test, vodka, voice, vote, voter, whiskey, wine, wishes, woman, words
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A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the
Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling hung
over and tired, he finally nods off.
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The priest has been watching him all along, noticing his
apparent hangover and is disgusted. At the end of the sermon,
the preacher decides to make an example of him.
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He says to his congregation, “All those wishing to have a place
in heaven, please stand.”
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The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man.
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Then the preacher says even more loudly, “And he who would like
Read More
Feb 23 2012
Posted: under "LOVE is LOVELY", "YUMMY FOOD FOR THOUGHT".
Tags: bliss, caring, companion, couple, destination, earth, embrace, eyes, family, food, friends, friendship, global, globe, happiness, heart, highway, honesty, humanity, husband, journey, joy, kindness, land, language, life, lifestyle, lifetime, listening, love, man, marriage, others, partner, passion, passionate, path, potential, power, reason, road, season, sharing, smiles, soul, spirit, spouse, thought, touch, universe, voice, wife, woman, words, world
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Too often we underestimate the power of a touch,
a smile, a kind word, a listening ear,
an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring,
all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
People come into our lives for a reason,
a season,
or
a lifetime!!
Embrace all equally!!!!
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Jan 23 2012
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "LOVE is LOVELY", "Life is precious handle with PRAYER!", "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Inspirationals.
Tags: age, aid, aim, air, anxiety, baby, bank, belief, blessings, bliss, care, career, caring, charity, check, child, college, comfort, community, companion, compassion, contribution, couple, dad, depression, difference, donation, duty, earth, era, eyes, faith, family, father, father-in-law, finger, fingers, friends, friendship, funds, gas, gift, global, globe, goal, God, granny, gratitude, hand, hands, happiness, heart, history, home, House, hug, hugs, husband, idea, ideas, inspiration, job, joy, labor, land, language, life, lifestyle, lifetime, listening, love, man, marriage, memory, moment, money, mood, mother, mother-in-law, mountain, need, needs, neighbor, neighborhood, others, parents, partner, period, power, prayer, pride, reason, rivers, school, sharing, smiles, sound, spouse, stream, stress, surprise, task, thankfulness, thought, time, token, trust, truth, universe, voice, water, wealth, wife, wind, woman, words, work, world
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Whirlwind
==========
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I have no idea why I am sitting here about to tell the world
about my situation, but maybe it will help someone.
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A little over a year ago I found myself back home, working two
jobs, single, feeling alone and pregnant.
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Now the reason for me being back home was so that I could save
some money so that I might be able to buy my first home. I was
working two jobs so that I could pay my current bills off.
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I also wanted to start a new career. I was a nail tech and an
intake person. I was 28 years old, a single woman longing to be
married but finding myself alone and pregnant which I thought
would never happen.
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My mother and step-father gave me the option to move in for one
year so that I could save a little faster. Well my year had
come to a close and it was time to go, if you know what I mean.
.
One day I felt like I was sitting in a chair in the middle of
the room and looking above only to see the whirlwind of my
problems going around me. I was like “wow if I get pulled up
into this mess I’d just keel over.” Well you know what happened
next. Our words do have power because all of a sudden it seems
as though I became trapped in this whirlwind.
.
I then began to give up until I remembered that God said that we
should cast all of our worries unto Him, so I began to pray a
prayer with all my heart. With faith I believed that He would
fix all of this, but I didn’t quite know how.
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The next day while working at the nail shop around 5 p.m.,
I began to tell a client of mine about my situation. After
crying all over myself at the end of her appointment, she gave
me a big hug and said that I was strong and everything would
work itself out. Now that was the last thing that I wanted to
hear. I was in trouble and needed major help.
.
So by the end of my shift around 10 p.m. that client of mine who
Read More
Jan 23 2012
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny and Hilarious Jokes, Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: age, belief, birthday, body, breakfast, bus, car, channel, cheer, child, church, coffee, courage, day, diamonds, diet, dinner, duty, encouragement, era, exercise, experience, faith, fool, funny, gift, global, globe, gratitude, gym, health, hilarious, history, humanity, humor, instruction, instructions, job, jokes, journey, labor, language, laughter, leg, legs, life, listening, message, morning, moron, mother, path, present, road, sandwich, Saturday, service, smiles, snack, snacks, sound, sport, strength, stupid, sugar, Sunday, surprise, task, tea, teacher, teeth, television, thankfulness, time, today, traffic, travel, treats, trip, truck, universe, vampire, vehicle, voice, weight, woman, words, work, world
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A WOMAN’S WEEK AT THE GYM
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If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.
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Dear Diary,
.
For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 40 something years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
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MONDAY:
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I started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blonde hair,dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!
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TUESDAY:
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I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda’s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It’s a whole new life for me.
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WEDNESDAY:
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The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the Hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.
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THURSDAY:
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Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl I couldn’t help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was
Read More
Nov 03 2011
