Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, airport, argument, cemetery, check, companion, couple, desire, elderly, era, feeling, flight, funds, funny, ghost, hilarious, humor, husband, jokes, language, laughter, listening, logic, marriage, Mathematics, money, partner, pilot, plane, seniors, show, smiles, sound, spouse, surprise, time, wife, words
Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years. Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepened each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides. Bob would ask, and Sue would say, “No way, ten dollars is ten dollars.”
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The years went by, and Bob figured he didn’t have much longer, so he got Sue out to the show, explaining, it’s free to watch, let’s at least watch. And once he got there the feeling become real strong. Sue and Bob started an argument.
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Apr 04 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: class, college, education, funny, hilarious, home, humor, jokes, laughter, logic, Mathematics, Professor, redneck, smiles, wife
Two rednecks decided that they weren’t going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.
“What’s logic?” the first redneck asked.
The professor answered, “Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?”
“I sure do.”
“Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard,” replied the professor.
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Mar 31 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: abroad, age, apple, apples, bell, bells, bishop, bus, car, church, college, computer, creativity, destination, duty, eggs, England, English, Englishman, era, exam, eyes, finger, fingers, fire, fool, foreign, France, French, fruit, fruits, funny, hand, hands, highway, hilarious, home, House, humanity, humor, idiot, internet, job, jokes, journey, labor, language, laughter, license, light, logic, logics, man, meat, minister, moron, online, others, paradox, pastor, perception, period, phone, plant, play, pope, preacher, priest, Professor, race, reflection, reverend, ring, road, school, sermon, sign, smiles, star, stupid, task, teacher, teeth, test, time, tour, tourist, traffic, travel, trip, truck, tutor, university, vegetable, vegetables, veggie, veggies, vehicle, woman, words, work
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
Let’s face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England.
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Mar 07 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: accident, advice, age, anger, anxiety, aroma, beacon, bird, bliss, body, bus, butt, candle, candles, car, cemetery, cologne, dad, depression, destination, dog, duty, eagle, eagles, era, eyes, father, feeling, fire, flame, flight, flowers, fragrance, funny, genius, ghost, happiness, health, highway, hilarious, history, humor, icon, inspiration, jet, job, jokes, journey, joy, labor, laughter, license, life, lifestyle, lifetime, light, logic, logics, magazine, man, medication, medicine, message, mood, motorist, muscle, muscles, nature, neighbor, obituary, odor, others, perception, perfume, period, philosophy, plane, plant, pool, rectum, rivers, road, robber, rose, roses, scent, sharing, sign, sky, smiles, sound, star, stream, stress, success, sunshine, task, thief, time, tips, tour, tourist, traffic, travel, trip, truck, vehicle, voice, water, woman, work
Always take the time to smell the roses…and sooner or later you’ll inhale a bee.
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If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek…nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.
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If genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, I must be sharing elevators with a lot of bright people.
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It’s always darkest before dawn…so if you’re gonna steal the neighbors newspaper, that’s the tme to do it.
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: anxiety, attention, beauty, challenges, emotion, excitement, exercise, experience, forces, God, life, limitations, logic, meditation, moments, praise, pursuits, success, trust, worship
Stronger Than You Know
Getting Ourselves Worked Up
Our capacity to cope successfully with life’s challenges far outstrips our capacity to feel nervousness. Yet in the weeks, days, and hours leading up to an event that we believe will test our limits, we can become nervous. While we may have previously regarded ourselves as equal to the trials that lie ahead, we reach a point at which they near and our anxiety begins to mount. We then become increasingly worked up, until the moment of truth arrives and we discover that our worry was all for nothing. We are almost always stronger and more capable than we believe ourselves to be. But anxiety is not rational in nature, which means that in most cases we cannot work through it using logic as our only tool. Reason can help us recognize the relative futility of unwarranted worry but, more often than not, we will find more comfort in patterns of thought and activity that redirect our attention to practical or engaging matters. Read More
Nov 17 2008
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: dialect, flame, fool, funny, hilarious, humor, idea, idiot, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, journey, knowledge, language, laughter, light, logic, man, Mathematics, moron, patois, phone, radio, reasoning, show, smiles, space, suggestion, television, thought, travel, vehicle, vernacular, woman, words
A man called a popular Jamaican talk show and said: “Miss G, mi caan understand how people love do di same ting ova and ova.”
“Could you explain that my dear sir,” Miss G replied.
“Well mam, every day dem a sen man go a moon. Why dem caan sen smaddy go a sun?”
Calmly, Miss G replied: “Well, my dear sir, the sun is so hot here and it is 93 million miles
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Sep 21 2008