Posted: under Dumb Blonde Jokes.
Tags: baby, blonde, companion, cop, couple, doctor, dog, eyes, fool, funny, hands, home, hospital, House, humor, husband, idiot, job, jokes, laughter, marriage, mirror, money, moron, nurse, office, officer, partner, patrolman, phone, physician, police, redhead, sheriff, sleep, smiles, specialist, spouse, surgeon, task, television, time, trooper, voice, wife, work
FIRST DEGREE A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone,listened a moment And said ‘How should I know,that’s 200 miles from here!’ and hung up. The husband said, ‘Who was that?’ The wife said, ‘I don’t know, Some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.’
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SECOND DEGREE Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on The sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the Mirror and says, ‘Hmm, this person looks familiar.’ The second blonde Says, ‘Here, let me see!’ So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, ‘You dummy, it’s me!’
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THIRD DEGREE A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, So she goes out and
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Apr 24 2009
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "LOVE is LOVELY", Inspirationals.
Tags: age, anger, bank, beauty, bliss, cab, car, check, companion, compassion, couple, dance, destination, doctor, dress, earth, elderly, embrace, era, eyes, family, fashion, feeling, funds, girl, glasses, global, globe, granny, gratitude, hand, hands, happiness, hat, hats, history, home, hope, hospital, House, hug, hugs, husband, inspiration, journey, joy, kindness, kisses, land, letter, license, life, lifestyle, lifetime, love, mail, man, memories, mind, mirror, moment, money, mother, mother-in-law, movie, neighbor, neighborhood, nurse, others, partner, party, passenger, path, patient, period, photos, physician, relaxation, rest, road, seniors, smiles, sound, specialist, spouse, style, sunshine, surgeon, surprise, taxi, thankfulness, time, touch, traffic, travel, universe, vehicle, voice, wedding, wife, woman, world
I arrived at the house to pick-up a passenger and after waiting a few minutes I walked to the door and knocked. ‘Just a a minute’, answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
..
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90’s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, cab, car, Chief, choice, church, color, colors, cop, era, funny, highway, hilarious, history, humor, jokes, journey, language, laughter, license, light, man, minister, mirror, moment, New York, officer, pastor, path, patrolman, period, phone, police, pope, preacher, president, priest, reflection, reverend, road, sheriff, smiles, taxi, time, tour, tourist, traffic, travel, trip, trooper, vehicle, voice, words
The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport.
Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while.
Well, the chauffeur didn’t have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel. The Pope proceeds onto HWY 95, and starts accelerating to see what the limo could do. He gets to about 90 mph, and suddenly he sees the blue lights of the State Police in his mirror. He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window.
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Mar 07 2009
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: beauty, companion, couple, funny, humor, husband, jokes, laughter, man, mirror, partner, short, smiles, spouse, wife, woman
Wife: Yesterday I saw a very beautiful woman.
Husband: Then what happened?
Wife: I just kept on admiring her, on and on..
Husband (gets irritated): WHAT happened then?
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: aroma, boobs, bra, breasts, companion, couple, fart, fragrance, funny, hilarious, home, House, humor, husband, idea, jokes, laughter, man, mirror, money, odor, pants, partner, perfume, scent, sex, smiles, spouse, time, widow, wife, woman
He said to me .. . . I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it.
I said to him . . . You wear pants don’t you? He said to me . . ….. Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That’s a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart! He said to me. … What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him . …Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: action, advice, age, aim, air, anxiety, belief, blessings, courage, depression, earth, era, exam, eyes, faith, global, globe, goal, goals, God, history, home, House, inspiration, life, lifestyle, lifetime, light, mirror, mood, perception, period, reflection, secret, secrets, sleep, strength, stress, success, sunshine, test, time, tips, universe, vision, wishes, world
Lying in bed, I was asking myself, what are some of the secrets of success in life? I found the answers right there, in my very room.
…
The fan said: be cool.
The roof said: aim high.
The window said: see the world.
The clock said: every minute is precious.
The mirror said: reflect before you act.