Humor

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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  GOOD SAMARITAN..

  A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the

  Good Samaritan.

  She asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all

  wounded and

  bleeding, what would you do?”

  A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d throw

  up.”

..

  DID NOAH FISH?

..

  A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a

  lot of fishing when

  he was on the Ark ?” “No,” replied Johnny.

  “How could he, with just two worms.”

..

  THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

..

  A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most

  quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23 .

  She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.

  Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn’t remember the Psalm.

  After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.

  On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation,

  Ricky was so nervous.

  When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,

  “The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.”

..

  UNANSWERED PRAYER

..

  The preacher’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always

  paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon.

  One day, she asked him why. “Well, Honey,” he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a

  good sermon.”

  “How come He doesn’t answer it?” she asked.

..

  BEING THANKFUL

..

  A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, “So your mother

  says your prayers for you each night?

  That’s very commendable.

  What does she say?”

  The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”

..

  ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS

..

  When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).

  For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli

  would say, “and all girls.”

  This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing.

  My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, “Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?”

  Her response, “Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying ‘All Men’!”

..

  SAY A PRAYER

..

  Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his

  Grandmother’s house.

  Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.

  When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.

  “Johnny!

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Comments (0) Dec 06 2011

A MountainWings Moment - Don’t Mess with Mom‏

Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny Poetry, Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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Don’t Mess with Mom
====================


My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
He’d decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.

~*~ 


“Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that’s taught by Mr. Wright?
It’s all about the laws today,
The “Children’s Bill of Rights.”

~*~ 

It says I need not clean my room,
don’t have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.

 

~*~
 
I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don’t have to bow my head,
and I sure don’t have to pray.

 

~*~
 
I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
and get tattoos from head to toes.

 

~*~
 
And if you ever spank me,
I’ll charge you with the crime.
I’ll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.

 

~*~
 
Don’t you ever touch me,
my body’s only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that’s just more child abuse.

 

~*~
 
Don’t preach about your morals,
like your mama did to you.
That’s nothing more than mind control,

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Comments (0) Dec 04 2011

The End is Near

Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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A local priest and pastor were fishing on the side of the road.

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They thoughtfully made a sign saying, “The End is Near!

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Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!” and showed it to each passing car.

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One driver that drove by didn’t appreciate the sign and shouted at them:

. Leave us alone, you religious nuts!” .

All of a sudden they heard a big SPLASH! The priest and the pastor Read More

Comments (0) May 31 2011

One Guy Didn’t

Posted: under "A Scripture A Day Keeps The Devil Away", Inspirationals.
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One Guy Didn’t

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Three guys were tried for crimes against humanity.
Two guys committed crimes.
One guy didn’t.

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Three guys were given government trials.
Two guys had fair trials.
One guy didn’t.

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Three guys were whipped and beaten.
Two guys had it coming.
One guy didn’t.

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Three guys were given crosses to carry.
Two guys earned their crosses.
One guy didn’t.

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Three guys were mocked and spit at along the way.
Two guys cursed and spit back.
One guy didn’t.

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Three guys were nailed to crosses.
Two guys deserved it.
One guy didn’t.

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Three guys talked while they were hung on their crosses.

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Comments (0) May 18 2011

Fashionistas and Royalty

Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW".
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Prince William and Kate Middleton attend the wedding between event rider Harry Meade and Rosemarie Bradford at the Church of St Peter and St Paul.
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Prince William walks with his girlfriend Kate Middleton after his graduation ceremony at RAF Cranwell. Lincolnshire, England

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Princess Beatrice and Eugene hat madness (fashion faux pas)

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Comments (0) May 03 2011

The Crocheted Tablecloth

Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "LOVE is LOVELY".
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True Story: 

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The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned in suburban Brooklyn, arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve. They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc, and on December 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished.

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On December 19 a terrible tempest - a driving rainstorm hit the area and lasted for two days.
On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high. The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home. On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colour, crocheted tablecloth with

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Comments (0) Apr 13 2011