Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes, Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: abroad, accident, Africa, age, air, alcohol, America, attorney, awards, bar, beaches, beer, brandy, breakfast, bus, car, champagne, check, cheer, clerk, cold, cop, court, destination, dinner, doctor, dumb, era, family, finger, fingers, fire, food, fool, foreign, friends, friendship, funds, funny, gas, gin, glory, health, hilarious, history, home, honor, hospital, hotel, House, humor, ice, idiot, insurance, jail, jokes, journey, judge, laughter, lawyer, letter, license, liquor, magic, mail, man, Mathematics, memory, money, moron, motel, New York, nurse, officer, passenger, path, patient, patrolman, period, photos, physician, police, pub, restaurant, road, robber, rum scotch, sheriff, short, smiles, snack, snacks, snow, specialist, stupid, surgeon, tequila, ticket, time, tool, tools, traffic, train, travel, treats, trooper, vehicle, vodka, whiskey, wind, wine, winner, winter, woman, youth

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The Darwins are out !!!!
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Yes … it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
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Here is the glorious winner:
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1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
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And now, the honorable mentions:
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2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
finger. The chef’s claim was approved.
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3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
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4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable
and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3
days.
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5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
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6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives
you money, is a crime committed?]
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7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
Read More
Feb 06 2012
Posted: under "A Scripture A Day Keeps The Devil Away", "LOVE is LOVELY", "Life is precious handle with PRAYER!".
Tags: actions, attitude, behavior, blessings, bliss, character, child, children, deed, depression, discipline, example, flowers, God, granny, happiness, heart, inspiration, joy, language, life, Lord, love, moment, mother, mother-in-law, parent, patient, practice, prayer, protection, role model, rose, roses, scripture, smiles, stress, truth, understanding, words
“For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath
given me my petition which I asked of him.”
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– 1 Samuel 1:27

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As a mom you have so many concerns to bring to God
Character . . . . Discipline . . . . Gentleness . . . .
Obedience . . . . Protection . . . . Patience . . . .
Self-control . . . . Worry . . . .
..
Through prayer, talk with your heavenly Father about those things and more….
Find God’s blessing on all the matters that are on your heart….
Take a moment to enjoy your Father’s loving presence….
the best place a mom can be.
..
My little children,
let us not love in word, neither in tongue;
but in deed and in truth
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– 1 John 3:18
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Lord, I’m always telling people how much I love my children, but I’m afraid I’m not always good at putting it into practice. In my heart I know I do love them and want what’s best for them, but I
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May 08 2011
Posted: under "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Inspirationals.
Tags: achievements, actions, anxiety, attention, belief, benefits, blessings, bliss, boss, change, character, child, comfort, courage, depression, development, direction, employee, employer, faith, family, friends, God, guidance, guide, happiness, health, inspiration, jail, job, journey, joy, law, learning, lessons, life, man, manager, Mathematics, moment, money, motivation, others, parents, patient, perfection, protection, psalm, relationship, road, rules, scripture, stress, success, task, test, touch, travel, trust, value, woman, work

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5 Ways God Uses Problems
……
The problems you face will either defeat you or develop you – depending on how you respond to them.
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Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring. .
Here are five ways God wants to use the problems in your life:
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1. God uses problems to DIRECT you.
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Sometimes God must light a fire under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change. Is God trying to get your attention?
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Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways. (Read Proverbs 20:30)
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2. God uses problems to INSPECT you.
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People are like tea bags…if you want to know what’s inside them, just drop them into hot ever water! Has God tested your faith with a problem What do problems reveal about you?
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When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience. (Read James 1:2-3)
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3. God uses problems to CORRECT you.
Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It’s likely that as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot stove. But you probably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something…health, money, a relationship… by losing it.
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It was the best thing that could have happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to Your laws. (Read Psalm 119:71-72)
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4. God uses problems to PROTECT you.
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A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had
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May 02 2011
Posted: under "LOVE is LOVELY", "Life is precious handle with PRAYER!", "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Inspirationals.
Tags: age, aid, change, compassion, doctor, elderly, experience, eyes, feeling, God, hand, healing, heart, hospital, inspiration, kindness, language, life, listening, love, moment, nurse, patient, peace, power, prayer, rhythm, seniors, smiles, soul, touch, voice, woman, words

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The Power of Touch
==================
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I worked as a medical/surgical nurse at a busy hospital and was
young in years and experience when this happened.
.
I had a patient to care for on my night shift along with eight
others. This particular patient did not talk, move or even give
me eye response when I was speaking to her.
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She was alone; no family. She was a DNR (do not resuscitate),
no heroic measures for her, just let her be.
She was on the telemonitor, which watches what the heart is
doing, rate, rhythm, etc.
.
After I did my initial assessment (like a physical exam), I
repositioned her, placed pillows at the areas known to have
skin breakdown (any bony prominence) and tried to make her
more comfortable. Then I went to speak to the nurse watching
the telemonitor for the shift so I could find out her rhythm,
etc. to put in my nurse’s notes.
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I was shocked when she pointed to the screen that displayed my
patient, “This is what a dying heart looks like.”
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I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. She didn’t look to be in
any distress when I was just with her. I asked a few questions
then quickly went back to the patient. Still no change.
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As the evening went on, I got patients admitted from the emergency
room and things got very busy. I had to make time to check on my
“special” lady.
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Every four hours I like to check vital signs if someone is in
this state. I took them again; pulse rate and blood pressure
were lower. I was standing at the bedside and could talk to the
telemonitor nurse over the intercom in the room. I asked her if
there has been any change.
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“The heart rate is 60 and dropping.” While I was checking blood
pressure and breathing rate, suddenly there were two other
nurses and several nurses aide’s in the room. Since she was DNR,
there was absolutely nothing we could do.
.
The other members stood and watched as the voice over the
intercom said, “Heart rate is 50 and dropping.” Her respiratory
rate dropped from the normal 20 a minute to 15 then 10.
She was going.
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I stood there feeling completely helpless. I must do something.
The only thing to do was pray.
.
“Heart rate is 40.”
.
I prayed silently and looked around the room. Everyone was just
standing, watching, with their hands clasped in front of them.
She was not struggling, but lying peacefully with her hands across
her chest, rising slower and slower as her breaths decreased.
.
Speaking to the intercom I said, “Her breathing is 5.”
Of course I am touching her while checking blood pressure but it
is not the same as “touching” her.
After a moment her breathing stopped completely.
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Oct 19 2010
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: ability, announcement, belief, bliss, check, doctor, experience, faith, funds, future, game, happiness, home, hope, hospital, indian, inspiration, joy, leader, life, money, patient, power, principle, stadium, success

Writer Norman Cousins tells about a football game at which a doctor
found himself treating five spectators for stomach disorder. Each
complained of nausea, dizziness and cramps. Upon checking, the doctor
learned that all five had previously consumed soft drinks from the
arena’s concession stands. In the interest of protecting public
safety, an announcement was made to the crowd that it would be wise to
forego drinks in the stadium because certain people were becoming ill.
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May 29 2009
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: action, aid, beauty, bliss, caring, charity, contribution, day, donation, earth, family, flag, gift, global, globe, God, gratitude, happiness, heart, honesty, inspiration, joy, land, language, lesson, life, listening, love, others, parable, patience, patient, present, roots, scripture, seed, seeds, soil, thankfulness, thought, universe, words

Earth Day… April 22, 2009
Earth Day Flag
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When a great crowd gathered and people from town after town came to him, he said in a parable: “A sower went out to sow his seed; and as he sowed, some fell on the path and was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it up. Some fell on the rock; and as it grew up, it withered for lack of moisture. Some fell among thorns, and the thorns grew with it and choked it. Some fell into good soil, and when it grew, it produced a hundredfold.” As he said this, he called out, “Let anyone with ears to hear listen!” Then his disciples asked him what this parable meant. He said, “To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of God; but to others I speak in parables, so that ‘looking they may not perceive, and listening they may not understand.’ “Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God. The ones on the path are those who have heard; then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. The ones on the rock are those who, when they hear the word, receive it with joy. But these have no root; they believe only for a while and
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Apr 22 2009