Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: age, air, attention, attorney, bank, check, classic, computer, dictionary, difference, dumb, earth, era, exam, flight, fool, friends, friendship, fun, funds, funny, funtime, game, global, globe, hand, hands, hilarious, history, humor, idiot, internet, Jamaican, jokes, land, language, laughter, lawyer, legs, letter, mail, money, moon, moron, nut, nuts, online, passenger, period, phone, plane, play, quiz, sleep, smiles, sound, stupid, test, time, universe, voice, wealth, words
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This is hilarious! A true classic.
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A lawyer and a Jamaican are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that Jamaicans are so dumb that he can fool them easy… So the lawyer asks if the Jamaican would like to play a fun game.
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The Jamaican is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and says that the game is a lot of fun.
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‘I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5; You ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.’
This catches the Jamaican’s attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
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The lawyer asks the first question.
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‘What’s the distance from The Earth to the moon?’
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The Jamaican doesn’t say a word, reaches in his pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
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Now, it’s the Jamaican’s turn.
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He asks the lawyer, ‘What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?’
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Feb 07 2012
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny Poetry, Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: anger, art, attitude, behavior, belt, body, butt, car, check, child, children, class, classroom, computer, control, depression, dinner, duty, earrings, education, educator, exam, example, eyes, fashion, food, freedom, funds, funny, God, granny, hairstyle, hands, hilarious, home, House, hug, hugs, humor, influence, internet, job, jokes, kisses, labor, lake, language, laughter, law, learning, lesson, life, lunch, moment, money, moral, mother, mother-in-law, mountain, movie, ocean, online, pants, parent, pastor, phone, pond, pool, prayer, preacher, priest, Professor, reading, recipe, rectum, reverend, rivers, road, role model, rules, school, sea, service, smiles, snack, snacks, stream, stress, style, task, teacher, television, test, today, touch, traffic, travel, treats, tutor, values, vehicle, voice, water, waterfall, waterfalls, words, work
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Don’t Mess with Mom
====================
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My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
He’d decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.
~*~
“Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that’s taught by Mr. Wright?
It’s all about the laws today,
The “Children’s Bill of Rights.”
~*~
It says I need not clean my room,
don’t have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.
~*~
I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don’t have to bow my head,
and I sure don’t have to pray.
~*~
I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
and get tattoos from head to toes.
~*~
And if you ever spank me,
I’ll charge you with the crime.
I’ll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.
~*~
Don’t you ever touch me,
my body’s only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that’s just more child abuse.
~*~
Don’t preach about your morals,
like your mama did to you.
That’s nothing more than mind control,
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Dec 04 2011
Posted: under "SMILE" Jamaica ~ "Once You Go --- You Know".
Tags: art, artist, bank, beaches, beauty, Bob Marley, bracelet, Caribbean, check, country, craft, experience, fantasy, fashion, funds, gift, hairdo, hairstyle, highway, hotel, island, Jamaica, Jamaican, jewelry, job, land, man, money, Montego Bay, necklace, northcoast, painting, paradise, pearls, phone, photos, present, pride, resort, ring, rivers, road, sea, smiles, souvenir, style, task, tourism, tourist, travel, trip, views, water, waterfalls, woman, work
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On your next trip to sweet, sweet Jamaica…
the beautiful island in the sun…
with white sand beaches and breathtaking views…
you gotta top off the wonderful and unforgettable experience
with a visit to
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Patrick’s Craft Shop #15
on the Hip Strip
(Gloucester Ave in Montego Bay)…
******
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(between Cambio & Spice World Supermarket)
.
******
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TEL: 396 - 4098
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(Ask for PATRICK or PAM)
.
******
Patrick’s Craft Shop #15
is only a stone’s throw from Decameron Hotel & Toby’s Inn Resort…
MONTEGO BAY
.
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Patrick’s Craft Shop
Shop #15
Fantasy Craft Market
(Hip Strip)
Gloucester Ave
Montego Bay
JAMAICA
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TEL: 396 - 4098
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Specialising in:-
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SOUVENIRS
(Bob Marley etc.)
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=+=
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HAIR BRAIDING
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=+=
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GIFTS
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=+=
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HANDMADE GOODIES
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=+=
.
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***********************
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bamboo craft
wood craft
straw craft
shell craft
bead craft
fabric craft
ONYX
BLACK PEARL
.
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Oct 19 2010
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: accident, car, cop, dialect, funny, gold, hilarious, humor, Jamaican, jewelry, jokes, language, laughter, man, officer, patois, patrolman, phone, police, road, sheriff, smiles, trooper, vehicle, vernacular, words
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A Jamaican driving in his brand new BMW Z8 pulls over to take a leak. A truck
speeding down the street crashes into his door just as he’s about to come out of
his car, sending it flying off the hinges. Enraged, he uses his cell phone to
call 911.
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When the police arrives, the Jamaican man explains what happened.
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: elderly, funny, hilarious, jokes, moment, phone, seniors, wife
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An elderly man was driving down the freeway when his cell phone rang.
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He answered it and it was his wife. She said, “Be careful, honey! I heard on the news that there is a car driving backwards on the freeway!”
.
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Mar 06 2010
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: advice, age, aid, assistance, baby, bank, belief, check, children, era, eyes, fool, friends, friendship, funds, funny, granny, hilarious, history, humor, idiot, jokes, language, laughter, Mathematics, money, moron, mother, mother-in-law, need, needs, peace, pencil, perception, period, phone, play, reading, relaxation, rest, smiles, stupid, sugar, surprise, time, tips, tool, tools, treats, woman, words
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Mary was almost crazy with her three young kids. She
complained to her best friend Judy, “They’re driving me
nuts! They give me no rest! I’m half way to the funny farm!”
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“What you need,” said Judy, “is a playpen.”
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So Mary bought a playpen. A few days later, Judy called to
ask how things were going.
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