Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: age, air, attention, attorney, bank, check, classic, computer, dictionary, difference, dumb, earth, era, exam, flight, fool, friends, friendship, fun, funds, funny, funtime, game, global, globe, hand, hands, hilarious, history, humor, idiot, internet, Jamaican, jokes, land, language, laughter, lawyer, legs, letter, mail, money, moon, moron, nut, nuts, online, passenger, period, phone, plane, play, quiz, sleep, smiles, sound, stupid, test, time, universe, voice, wealth, words
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This is hilarious! A true classic.
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A lawyer and a Jamaican are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that Jamaicans are so dumb that he can fool them easy… So the lawyer asks if the Jamaican would like to play a fun game.
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The Jamaican is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and says that the game is a lot of fun.
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‘I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5; You ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.’
This catches the Jamaican’s attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
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The lawyer asks the first question.
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‘What’s the distance from The Earth to the moon?’
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The Jamaican doesn’t say a word, reaches in his pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
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Now, it’s the Jamaican’s turn.
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He asks the lawyer, ‘What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?’
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Feb 07 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: advice, age, aid, assistance, baby, bank, belief, check, children, era, eyes, fool, friends, friendship, funds, funny, granny, hilarious, history, humor, idiot, jokes, language, laughter, Mathematics, money, moron, mother, mother-in-law, need, needs, peace, pencil, perception, period, phone, play, reading, relaxation, rest, smiles, stupid, sugar, surprise, time, tips, tool, tools, treats, woman, words
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Mary was almost crazy with her three young kids. She
complained to her best friend Judy, “They’re driving me
nuts! They give me no rest! I’m half way to the funny farm!”
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“What you need,” said Judy, “is a playpen.”
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So Mary bought a playpen. A few days later, Judy called to
ask how things were going.
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Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: abroad, age, apple, apples, bell, bells, bishop, bus, car, church, college, computer, creativity, destination, duty, eggs, England, English, Englishman, era, exam, eyes, finger, fingers, fire, fool, foreign, France, French, fruit, fruits, funny, hand, hands, highway, hilarious, home, House, humanity, humor, idiot, internet, job, jokes, journey, labor, language, laughter, license, light, logic, logics, man, meat, minister, moron, online, others, paradox, pastor, perception, period, phone, plant, play, pope, preacher, priest, Professor, race, reflection, reverend, ring, road, school, sermon, sign, smiles, star, stupid, task, teacher, teeth, test, time, tour, tourist, traffic, travel, trip, truck, tutor, university, vegetable, vegetables, veggie, veggies, vehicle, woman, words, work
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
Let’s face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England.
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Mar 07 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, cemetery, church, companion, couple, funeral, funny, game, ghost, golf, hilarious, humor, husband, jokes, laughter, marriage, minister, obituary, partner, pastor, play, preacher, priest, respect, smiles, sports, spouse, thought, time, wife
Two men are playing golf one day. As they are about to start one of the holes, a funeral procession goes by on the road beside the course.
One of the golfers, Harry, takes off his cap and stands with his cap to his chest, and waits for the entire procession to go by. He then puts his cap back on and proceeds to tee off.
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Nov 23 2008
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: action, advice, angel, angels, anxiety, attitude, bliss, community, craft, depression, entertainment, feeling, flight, fool, fun, funtime, game, Games, girl, hand, happiness, healing, health, heart, humanity, humor, idiot, joy, language, laughter, life, light, love, man, medication, medicine, moron, nurse, others, patient, perspective, play, practice, present, quotes, scripture, sharing, smiles, stress, stupid, therapy, tips, tool, tools, woman, words
When life has you feeling weighed down, laugh a little and feel your heart lighten.
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Of all my tools to combat stress-especially the stress of dealing with my illness or someone else’s–humor is by far the most fun. And just like mastering the craft of writing, I’m finding that the longer I practice laughing at life (especially at its frustrations) the better I become at it, and the more situations and conversations and complications I can place into that category named “silly.”
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: age, aid, arm, arms, baby, bliss, check, cheer, child, dad, decision, duty, energy, era, excitement, exercise, eyes, father, funny, game, girl, granny, hand, hands, happiness, history, home, House, humor, job, jokes, joy, labor, language, laughter, mother, mother-in-law, parents, period, play, short, smiles, sound, task, television, time, voice, woman, words, work, youth
With some misgivings, we left a young babysitter in charge
of our three energetic youngsters.
When we returned a few hours later, she was sitting alone
watching TV.
I went to check on the children and found them in our narrow
hallway. By bracing their arms and legs against the walls,
two of them had climbed up to the ceiling.
“The babysitter taught us how,” they said gleefully.
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Oct 11 2008