Posted: under "LOVE is LOVELY", Inspirationals.
Tags: angel, bank, beaches, beacon, beauty, Bible, body, breakfast, burden, candle, cemetery, check, child, Christ, cold, compassion, cop, cross, dad, dinner, duty, earth, father, fire, flame, food, funds, ghost, global, globe, God, heart, Heaven, home, House, hug, hugs, ice, inspiration, Jesus, job, King, kisses, labor, lake, land, language, life, lifestyle, lifetime, light, load, loan, Lord, love, magazine, man, meal, money, morning, neighbor, obituary, ocean, officer, others, patrolman, policeman, pond, pool, rain, rainbow, relaxation, rest, rivers, Savior, scripture, sea, sheriff, sleep, snack, snacks, snow, son, tablecloth, task, trooper, understanding, universe, warmth, water, weight, winter, woman, words, work, world, worth
John 3:16
A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner,
the people were in and out of the cold.
..
The little boy was so cold that he wasn’t trying to sell
many papers.
..
He walked up to a policeman and said,
‘Mister, you wouldn’t happen to know where a poor boy could find a warm place to sleep tonight would you ?
..
You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and down the alley and it’s awful cold in there for tonight. Sure would be nice to have a warm place to stay.’The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, ‘You go down the street to that big white house and you knock on the door.
..
When they come out the door you just say John 3:16, and they will let you in.’
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: butt, child, cop, funny, hilarious, humor, jokes, kisses, laughter, officer, patrolman, policeman, rectum, sheriff, short, smiles
A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other.
“Now listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever yo do to that poor, defenceless creature I shall personally do to you”
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Nov 02 2008
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Advice & Tips.
Tags: cop, forgiveness, life, officer, policeman, prayer, smiles, ticket, traffic, voice, wife
Jack took a long look at his speedometer
before slowing down: 73 in a 55 zone.
Fourth time in as many months.
How could a guy get caught so often?
When his car had slowed to 10 miles an hour,
Jack pulled over, but only partially.
Let the cop worry about the potential traffic hazard.
Maybe some other car will tweak his backside with a mirror.
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Oct 16 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, bus, car, chic, companion, cop, couple, day, duty, era, exam, excuse, fashion, funny, hair, hairdo, hairstyle, highway, hilarious, humor, husband, job, jokes, journey, labor, language, laughter, license, light, memories, officer, partner, path, patrolman, policeman, road, sheriff, smiles, spouse, style, task, test, ticket, time, traffic, travel, trip, truck, vehicle, voice, wife, words, work
A fellow bought a new Corvette and was out on an interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him.
“There ain’t no way they can catch a Corvette,” he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100, 130 and finally 150 with the light still behind him. “What the hell am I doing?” he thought and pulled over.
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Oct 13 2008
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: abroad, accident, anger, anxiety, baby, behavior, boobs, breasts, bus, cab, car, check, community, companion, compliment, cop, country, couple, cure, depression, dialect, duty, earth, eyes, fashion, favor, feeling, feelings, fool, foreign, funds, funny, glasses, global, globe, gold, health, highway, hilarious, homeless, hotel, humor, husband, idiot, Jamaica, Jamaican, job, jokes, journey, Kingston, labor, land, language, laughter, letter, license, man, money, morning, moron, motel, music, neighbor, neighborhood, officer, others, partner, path, patois, patrolman, penis, phone, policeman, private, prostitute, pussy, reggae, road, sex, sheriff, smiles, sound, Spanish Town, spouse, stress, stupid, style, sunglasses, system, task, taxes, taxi, teeth, time, touch, tour, tourist, traffic, travel, trip, trooper, truck, universe, vagina, vehicle, vernacular, village, voice, weight, whore, wife, woman, words, work, world
You have probably heard that they will be putting toll booths on parts of Highway 2000 in JA. This is probably what the first day will be like:
..
Toll Booth Collector: Morning sir, the toll will be $55.
Skinny the Taximan: $55 unda yuh Mumma! Yuh know how long mi a drive pon dis yah road yah and now oonu want come charge man fi drive pon we owna road. Is kill oonu want kill off poor people! Mi naw pay dat!
..
TB Collector: Sir, you don’t have a choice, please pay the toll or I’ll be forced to call the officer standing right over there.
Skinny: Which officer yuh a talk bout? Weh part him deh?
..
TB Collector: Yuh see the officer standing over there with the gold-teeth, the dark glasses, the bend-up face, and the M-16? Yes dat same one?
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Oct 12 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: attorney, cop, court, exam, funny, hilarious, humor, jokes, judge, laughter, law, lawyer, officer, patrolman, policeman, president, rabbit, rules, sheriff, smiles, test, time, trooper
The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything
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Oct 09 2008