Humor
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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| GOOD SAMARITAN..
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?” A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d throw up.” .. DID NOAH FISH? .. A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?” “No,” replied Johnny. “How could he, with just two worms.” .. THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD .. A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23 . She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn’t remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, “The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.” .. UNANSWERED PRAYER .. The preacher’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. “Well, Honey,” he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.” “How come He doesn’t answer it?” she asked. .. BEING THANKFUL .. A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, “So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That’s very commendable. What does she say?” The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!” .. ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS .. When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, “and all girls.” This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, “Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?” Her response, “Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying ‘All Men’!” .. SAY A PRAYER .. Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother’s house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. “Johnny!
Lawyers should never ask a . . . .Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes. . . . Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. . .
. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.’ .. The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?’ .. She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a
Active LovePosted: under "A Scripture A Day Keeps The Devil Away", "LOVE is LOVELY", "Life is precious handle with PRAYER!". “For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him.” . – 1 Samuel 1:27
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As a mom you have so many concerns to bring to God Character . . . . Discipline . . . . Gentleness . . . . Obedience . . . . Protection . . . . Patience . . . . Self-control . . . . Worry . . . .
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Through prayer, talk with your heavenly Father about those things and more…. Find God’s blessing on all the matters that are on your heart…. Take a moment to enjoy your Father’s loving presence…. the best place a mom can be.
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My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth . – 1 John 3:18
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Lord, I’m always telling people how much I love my children, but I’m afraid I’m not always good at putting it into practice. In my heart I know I do love them and want what’s best for them, but I
What Greatness Is All AboutPosted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Johann Sebastian Bach.A school music teacher received this essay from an eight-year-old
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Dec 06 2011
