Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny Poetry, Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: anger, art, attitude, behavior, belt, body, butt, car, check, child, children, class, classroom, computer, control, depression, dinner, duty, earrings, education, educator, exam, example, eyes, fashion, food, freedom, funds, funny, God, granny, hairstyle, hands, hilarious, home, House, hug, hugs, humor, influence, internet, job, jokes, kisses, labor, lake, language, laughter, law, learning, lesson, life, lunch, moment, money, moral, mother, mother-in-law, mountain, movie, ocean, online, pants, parent, pastor, phone, pond, pool, prayer, preacher, priest, Professor, reading, recipe, rectum, reverend, rivers, road, role model, rules, school, sea, service, smiles, snack, snacks, stream, stress, style, task, teacher, television, test, today, touch, traffic, travel, treats, tutor, values, vehicle, voice, water, waterfall, waterfalls, words, work
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Don’t Mess with Mom
====================
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My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
He’d decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.
~*~
“Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that’s taught by Mr. Wright?
It’s all about the laws today,
The “Children’s Bill of Rights.”
~*~
It says I need not clean my room,
don’t have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.
~*~
I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don’t have to bow my head,
and I sure don’t have to pray.
~*~
I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
and get tattoos from head to toes.
~*~
And if you ever spank me,
I’ll charge you with the crime.
I’ll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.
~*~
Don’t you ever touch me,
my body’s only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that’s just more child abuse.
~*~
Don’t preach about your morals,
like your mama did to you.
That’s nothing more than mind control,
Read More
Dec 04 2011
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: accident, car, fish, fishing, fool, funny, hilarious, humor, idiot, jokes, journey, lake, laughter, license, man, minister, moron, ocean, others, pastor, pond, preacher, priest, rivers, road, sea, smiles, stream, travel, trip, vehicle, water, woman
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A local priest and pastor were fishing on the side of the road.
.
They thoughtfully made a sign saying, “The End is Near!
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Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!” and showed it to each passing car.
.
One driver that drove by didn’t appreciate the sign and shouted at them:
. “Leave us alone, you religious nuts!” .
All of a sudden they heard a big SPLASH! The priest and the pastor Read More
May 31 2011
Posted: under "A Scripture A Day Keeps The Devil Away", Inspirationals.
Tags: angel, blessings, body, cemetery, Christ, church, day, Easter, faith, ghost, glory, God, Good Friday, government, Heaven, holiness, home, House, humanity, inspiration, Jesus, language, life, Lord, love, man, Mathematics, minister, others, pastor, praises, preacher, priest, resurrection, Savior, scripture, soul, spirit, woman, words
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One Guy Didn’t
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Three guys were tried for crimes against humanity.
Two guys committed crimes.
One guy didn’t.
.
Three guys were given government trials.
Two guys had fair trials.
One guy didn’t.
.
Three guys were whipped and beaten.
Two guys had it coming.
One guy didn’t.
.
Three guys were given crosses to carry.
Two guys earned their crosses.
One guy didn’t.
.
Three guys were mocked and spit at along the way.
Two guys cursed and spit back.
One guy didn’t.
.
Three guys were nailed to crosses.
Two guys deserved it.
One guy didn’t.
.
Three guys talked while they were hung on their crosses.
Read More
May 18 2011
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW".
Tags: beauty, bliss, bride, Britain, celebration, celebrity, ceremony, church, companion, couple, dad, designer, diamonds, Duchess, Duke, elegance, era, family, fashion, fashionista, father, festival, friends, gold, granny, groom, happiness, hats, history, husband, jewelry, joy, life, London, love, marriage, minister, money, mother, mother-in-law, music, palace, partner, party, pastor, preacher, priest, Prince, princess, Queen Elizabeth, ring, sermon, smiles, spouse, style, television, time, wedding, wife
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Prince William and Kate Middleton attend the wedding between event rider Harry Meade and Rosemarie Bradford at the Church of St Peter and St Paul.
***
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Prince William walks with his girlfriend Kate Middleton after his graduation ceremony at RAF Cranwell. Lincolnshire, England
***
Princess Beatrice and Eugene hat madness (fashion faux pas)
.
Read More
May 03 2011
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "LOVE is LOVELY".
Tags: age, aim, attention, beauty, bliss, bus, car, care, charity, check, christmas, church, colors, companion, contribution, couple, donation, elderly, fashion, gift, goal, happiness, home, House, husband, inspiration, jail, job, journey, joy, life, lifestyle, lifetime, love, man, minister, miracle, money, music, neighborhood, New York, opportunities, partner, pastor, preacher, present, priest, rain, road, seniors, sermon, service, snow, spirit, spouse, storm, style, tablecloth, task, time, traffic, travel, vehicle, water, wife, wind, woman, work
True Story:
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The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned in suburban Brooklyn, arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve. They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc, and on December 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished.
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On December 19 a terrible tempest - a driving rainstorm hit the area and lasted for two days.
On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high. The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home. On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colour, crocheted tablecloth with
Read More
Apr 13 2011
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: age, aid, Bible, caring, cheer, church, heart, home, House, inspiration, journey, kindness, life, love, man, minister, neighbor, neighborhood, others, pastor, preacher, priest, road, sermon, sharing, Sunday, thought, time, travel, winter, woman, words
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The Homeless Man
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It was a cold winter’s day that Sunday. The parking lot to the church was filling up quickly. I noticed as I got out of my car that fellow church members were whispering among themselves as they walked to the church. As I got closer I saw a man leaned up against the wall outside the church. He was almost laying down as if he was asleep. He had on a long trench coat that was almost in shreds and a hat topped his head, pulled down so you could not see his face.
.
He wore shoes that looked 30 years old, too small for his feet with holes all over them, his toes stuck out. I assumed this man was homeless, and asleep, so I walked on by through the doors of the church. We all fellowshiped for a few minutes, and someone brought up the man laying outside. People snickered and gossiped but no one bothered to ask him to come in, including me.
.
A few moments later church began. We all waited for the Preacher to take his place and to give us Read More
Apr 13 2011