Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny Poetry, Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: anger, art, attitude, behavior, belt, body, butt, car, check, child, children, class, classroom, computer, control, depression, dinner, duty, earrings, education, educator, exam, example, eyes, fashion, food, freedom, funds, funny, God, granny, hairstyle, hands, hilarious, home, House, hug, hugs, humor, influence, internet, job, jokes, kisses, labor, lake, language, laughter, law, learning, lesson, life, lunch, moment, money, moral, mother, mother-in-law, mountain, movie, ocean, online, pants, parent, pastor, phone, pond, pool, prayer, preacher, priest, Professor, reading, recipe, rectum, reverend, rivers, road, role model, rules, school, sea, service, smiles, snack, snacks, stream, stress, style, task, teacher, television, test, today, touch, traffic, travel, treats, tutor, values, vehicle, voice, water, waterfall, waterfalls, words, work
.
Don’t Mess with Mom
====================
.
My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
He’d decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.
~*~
“Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that’s taught by Mr. Wright?
It’s all about the laws today,
The “Children’s Bill of Rights.”
~*~
It says I need not clean my room,
don’t have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.
~*~
I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don’t have to bow my head,
and I sure don’t have to pray.
~*~
I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
and get tattoos from head to toes.
~*~
And if you ever spank me,
I’ll charge you with the crime.
I’ll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.
~*~
Don’t you ever touch me,
my body’s only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that’s just more child abuse.
~*~
Don’t preach about your morals,
like your mama did to you.
That’s nothing more than mind control,
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Dec 04 2011
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: anger, anxiety, bird, class, classroom, college, depression, designer, difference, duty, emotions, exam, eyes, fashion, fool, funny, genius, humor, idiot, job, jokes, labor, language, laughter, legs, life, man, moment, moron, mountain, others, Professor, school, smiles, stress, student, style, suit, surprise, task, teacher, test, thought, tutor, university, voice, woman, words, work
.
Legs
=====
.
A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his
zoology test the next day. As he entered the classroom, he saw
ten stands with ten pairs of legs on them. Each bird had a sack
over its head; only the legs were showing.
.
He sat in the front row because he wanted to do the best job
possible. The professor announced that the test would be to
look at each of the birds’ legs and give the common name,
habitat, genus and species.
.
The student looked at each of the birds’ legs.
They all looked the same to him.
He began to get upset.
.
He had stayed up all night studying and now had to identify
birds by their legs.
.
The more he thought about it the madder he got.
.
Finally he could stand it no longer.
He went up to the professor’s desk and said,
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May 19 2011
Posted: under "A TASTE of the TROPICS", "DID YOU KNOW", "Jamaica Labrish Korner", "Jamaica ~ Land Of Paradise", "SMILE" Jamaica ~ "Once You Go --- You Know", "Welcome to JAMrock ~ JAMAICA ~ NO PROBLEM".
Tags: Alton Ellis, art, artist, beaches, beauty, black, blacks, blessings, Bob Marley, Boris Gardiner, Caribbean, color, colors, country, craft, culture, custom, dialect, doctor, Dr Patrice Smith, education, Enid Cumberland, eyes, faith, flag, flowers, food, foods, forgiveness, friends, friendship, fun, funtime, garden, generosity, government, Gregory Isaacs, happiness, heritage, history, home, hope, hotel, icon, island, Jamaica, Jamaican, joy, Keith Stewart, kindness, Kingston, knowledge, land, language, laughter, leader, legend, life, lifestyle, love, loyalty, Marcus Garvey, Miss Lou, Montego Bay, mountain, music, nation, nature, northcoast, nurse, ocean, Ocho Rios, palm, paradise, patois, physician, Port Antonio, Port Maria, Port Royal, pride, Professor, Queen Elizabeth, rafting, recipe, reggae, resort, Rex Nettleford, rivers, sailing, scenery, scientist, sea, skill, skills, smiles, Sonia Pottinger, St Ann, sugar, sunshine, surgeon, talent, taste, teacher, touch, tourist, Trelawny, tropic, tropics, tutor, understanding, Usain Bolt, vernacular, views, vision, waterfalls, West Indian, words
Port Antonio Harbor and Navy Island, Jamaica
.
RECIPE
.
4 cups of love 5 spoons of hope
2 cups of loyalty 2 spoons of tenderness
3 cups of forgiveness 4 quarts of faith
1 cup of friendship 1 barrel of laughter
.
.
Take love and loyalty. Mix it thoroughly with faith.
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: challenge, class, classroom, college, exam, funny, hands, humor, jokes, language, laughter, Professor, smiles, student, teacher, test, time, words
.
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question
final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array
of topics.
.
The class was already seated and ready to go when
the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his
desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we
have learned this semester, prove that this chair does
not exist.”
.
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled
in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30
Posted: under "A TASTE of the TROPICS", "DID YOU KNOW", "Jamaica Labrish Korner", "Jamaica ~ Land Of Paradise", "SMILE" Jamaica ~ "Once You Go --- You Know", "Welcome to JAMrock ~ JAMAICA ~ NO PROBLEM".
Tags: African, America, appreciation, arts, awards, black, blacks, Canada, Caribbean, celebration, celebrity, cemetery, challenge, college, color, colors, committee, community, contribution, country, creativity, critic, culture, dancer, determination, development, doctor, earth, education, environment, era, family, festival, friends, friendship, genius, ghost, global, globe, gold, government, governor, guidance, heritage, history, honor, icon, identity, influence, Jamaica, Jamaican, Kingston, land, legacy, legend, life, medal, mentor, merit, mind, Miss Lou, nation, orator, order, period, prime minister, Professor, quest, recipient, research, resilience, respect, Rex Nettleford, service, success, theatre, time, universe, university, voice, wishes, world, writer
Hello world, it is with profound sadness that I share the fact that our esteemed friend, Professor Rex Nettleford passed away on February 2nd…..
.
.
PROFESSOR Rex Nettleford, one of Jamaica’s brightest sons and a cultural icon, died in the George Washington University Intensive Care Unit last night, six days after he collapsed in his hotel room in Washington and four hours before his 77th birthday.
.
Nettleford, who suffered a massive heart attack, was admitted to the hospital’s intensive care unit and placed on life support. He never regained consciousness and finally passed at 8:00 pm.
.
Nettleford… was an international icon and quintessential Caribbean man.
He was in the US capital to participate in a fund-raising gala for the University of the West Indies (UWI), where he was vice-chancellor emeritus.
.
Last night, a medical report signed by Dr Christopher Junker of George Washington University said that the life support was terminated in keeping with Professor Nettleford’s wishes.
.
“Mr Nettleford has been under our care at the George Washington University Intensive Care Unit for catastrophic brain injury following a cardiac arrest,” Dr Junker said. “After
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: class, college, education, funny, hilarious, home, humor, jokes, laughter, logic, Mathematics, Professor, redneck, smiles, wife
Two rednecks decided that they weren’t going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.
“What’s logic?” the first redneck asked.
The professor answered, “Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?”
“I sure do.”
“Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard,” replied the professor.
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Mar 31 2009