| GOOD SAMARITAN..
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the
Good Samaritan.
She asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all
wounded and
bleeding, what would you do?”
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d throw
up.”
..
DID NOAH FISH?
..
A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a
lot of fishing when
he was on the Ark ?” “No,” replied Johnny.
“How could he, with just two worms.”
..
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
..
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most
quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23 .
She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.
Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn’t remember the Psalm.
After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation,
Ricky was so nervous.
When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,
“The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.”
..
UNANSWERED PRAYER
..
The preacher’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always
paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon.
One day, she asked him why. “Well, Honey,” he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a
good sermon.”
“How come He doesn’t answer it?” she asked.
..
BEING THANKFUL
..
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, “So your mother
says your prayers for you each night?
That’s very commendable.
What does she say?”
The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”
..
ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
..
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).
For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli
would say, “and all girls.”
This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing.
My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, “Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?”
Her response, “Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying ‘All Men’!”
..
SAY A PRAYER
..
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
Grandmother’s house.
Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.
When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.
“Johnny!
Read More
 Dec 06 2011
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny Poetry, Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: anger, art, attitude, behavior, belt, body, butt, car, check, child, children, class, classroom, computer, control, depression, dinner, duty, earrings, education, educator, exam, example, eyes, fashion, food, freedom, funds, funny, God, granny, hairstyle, hands, hilarious, home, House, hug, hugs, humor, influence, internet, job, jokes, kisses, labor, lake, language, laughter, law, learning, lesson, life, lunch, moment, money, moral, mother, mother-in-law, mountain, movie, ocean, online, pants, parent, pastor, phone, pond, pool, prayer, preacher, priest, Professor, reading, recipe, rectum, reverend, rivers, road, role model, rules, school, sea, service, smiles, snack, snacks, stream, stress, style, task, teacher, television, test, today, touch, traffic, travel, treats, tutor, values, vehicle, voice, water, waterfall, waterfalls, words, work
.
Don’t Mess with Mom
====================
.
My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
He’d decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.
~*~
“Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that’s taught by Mr. Wright?
It’s all about the laws today,
The “Children’s Bill of Rights.”
~*~
It says I need not clean my room,
don’t have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.
~*~
I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don’t have to bow my head,
and I sure don’t have to pray.
~*~
I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
and get tattoos from head to toes.
~*~
And if you ever spank me,
I’ll charge you with the crime.
I’ll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.
~*~
Don’t you ever touch me,
my body’s only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that’s just more child abuse.
~*~
Don’t preach about your morals,
like your mama did to you.
That’s nothing more than mind control,
Read More
Dec 04 2011
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "LOVE is LOVELY".
Tags: account, activity, age, aid, America, anxiety, bank, bliss, Britain, care, caring, cemetery, charity, check, child, companion, computer, contribution, couple, dad, day, depression, difference, donation, duty, earth, England, era, Europe, experience, father, finance, fish, fishing, funds, funeral, generosity, ghost, global, globe, government, habit, happiness, history, home, House, husband, inspiration, internet, job, joy, labor, lake, land, life, lifestyle, lifetime, London, love, man, memories, money, neighbor, obituary, ocean, online, others, parent, partner, passion, period, pond, pool, rain, reading, reward, rivers, sea, sharing, spouse, stream, stress, task, time, token, trip, understanding, universe, value, water, wife, woman, work, world
.
Writer Gary Jennings said this: “Love and time, those are the only
two things in all the world and all of life, that cannot be bought,
but only spent.”
.
I love that. And HOW I spend my love and time is what it is all
about.
.
My work and interests require me to spend probably an inordinate
amount of time in front of my computer. At least according to my
wife Bev.
.
She and I were talking one day about death and funerals and what to
do with each other’s remains. I asked. “What will you do with my
body? Burial? Cremation?”
.
She answered, “I think I’ll just have you stuffed and propped up in
your chair by the computer. That way when I walk through the room I
won’t even notice that you’re gone.”
.
I got the point - too much computer time. And how I spend my time
and my love is all important.
. The question I ask myself is this: “Do I generously and freely give
love and time away - and especially to those closest to me?”
.
Charles Francis Adams was the United States ambassador to Great
Britain during the Lincoln administration. He had the habit of
keeping a daily diary. He also taught his son Brooks the value of
journaling his activities in a diary.
. One memorable day, eight-year-old Brooks recorded, “Went fishing
with my father, the most glorious day of my life.” It must have been
a glorious day, for the next forty years Brooks repeatedly mentioned
it in his diary. It became a life-long memory.
.
His father also wrote about the fishing trip. His own diary on that Read More
Dec 31 2010
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: advice, age, aid, assistance, baby, bank, belief, check, children, era, eyes, fool, friends, friendship, funds, funny, granny, hilarious, history, humor, idiot, jokes, language, laughter, Mathematics, money, moron, mother, mother-in-law, need, needs, peace, pencil, perception, period, phone, play, reading, relaxation, rest, smiles, stupid, sugar, surprise, time, tips, tool, tools, treats, woman, words
.
Mary was almost crazy with her three young kids. She
complained to her best friend Judy, “They’re driving me
nuts! They give me no rest! I’m half way to the funny farm!”
.
“What you need,” said Judy, “is a playpen.”
.
So Mary bought a playpen. A few days later, Judy called to
ask how things were going.
.
Posted: under "LOVE is LOVELY", Inspirationals.
Tags: action, airline, airman, airplane, America, army, attendant, attitude, blessings, captain, country, courage, family, feelings, flight, food, friends, gift, God, gratitude, honor, inspiration, kindness, life, Lord, love, marine, meal, military, moment, money, nation, ocean, passengers, pilot, plane, prayer, protection, reading, respect, rivers, sailor, sea, service, smiles, soldiers, strength, troops, veterans, voice, water, whisper, world
.
— The Sack Lunches
.
I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight. ‘I’m glad I have a good book to read. Perhaps I will get a short nap,’ I thought.
.
Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down the aisle and filled all the vacant seats, totally surrounding me. I decided to start a conversation.
.
‘Where are you headed?’ I asked the soldier seated nearest to me.
‘Petawawa. We’ll be there for two weeks for special training, and then we’re being deployed to Afghanistan
.
After flying for about an hour, an announcement was made that sack lunches were available for five dollars. It would be several hours before we reached the east, and I quickly decided a lunch would help pass the time…
.
As I reached for my wallet, I overheard a soldier ask his buddy if he planned to buy lunch. ’No, that seems like a lot of money for just a sack lunch. Probably wouldn’t be worth five bucks. I’ll wait till we get to base.’
.
His friend agreed.
.
I looked around at the other soldiers. None were buying lunch. I walked to the back of the plane and handed the flight attendant a fifty dollar bill. ’Take a lunch to all those soldiers.’ She grabbed my arms and squeezed tightly. Her eyes wet with tears, she thanked me. ‘My son was a soldier in Iraq ; it’s almost like you are doing it for him.’
.
Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the soldiers were seated. She stopped at my seat and asked, ‘Which do you like best - beef or chicken?’
‘Chicken,’ I replied, wondering why she asked. She turned and went
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "Life is precious handle with PRAYER!", Inspirationals.
Tags: activity, axe, boss, change, check, Christ, coffee, day, duty, employee, employer, family, friends, friendship, God, growth, inspiration, integrity, Jesus, job, language, life, listening, Lord, man, manager, meditation, money, others, prayer, reading, Savior, scripture, supervisor, task, time, today, tool, tools, voice, volume, woman, words, work, world, youth
A young man approached the foreman of a logging crew and asked for a job.
..
“That depends,” replied the foreman. “Let’s see you fell this tree.” The young man stepped forward and skillfully felled a great tree. Impressed, the foreman exclaimed, “You can start Monday.”
..
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday rolled by. Thursday afternoon the foreman approached the young man and said, “You can pick up your paycheck on the way out today.”
..
Read More
Apr 10 2009
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