Posted: under Funny Poetry.
Tags: bliss, child, couple, family, funny, happiness, humor, husband, joy, laughter, life, love, marriage, mother, parents, redneck, smiles, spouse, wife
SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE,
SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE;
SHE WAS SO HAPPY ‘BOUT IT ALL
SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO.
***
PAPPY TOLD HER, SUSIE GAL,
YOU’LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER.
I’D JUST AS SOON YO’ MA DON’T KNOW,
BUT JOE IS YO’ HALF BROTHER.
Posted: under Funny Poetry.
Tags: age, car, diamonds, dog, fragrance, funny, gift, humor, laughter, life, love, man, odor, perfume, present, pride, redneck, romance, scent, smiles, taste, teeth, Valentine's Day, vehicle, woman
.
Kudzu is green,
My dog’s name is Blue
And I’m so lucky,
To have a sweet thang like you.
***
Your hair is like cornsilk,
A-flappin’ in the breeze.
Softer than Blue’s,
And without all them fleas.
***
You move like the bass,
Which excite me in May.
You ain’t got no scales,
But I luv you anyway.
***
You have all your teeth,
For which I am proud;
I hold my head high,
When we’re in a crowd.
Read More
Feb 13 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: computer, funny, hilarious, jokes, redneck
You take your net connected cell phone
to the outhouse to read your email.
Your email address ends in “.over.yonder.com.”
Your computer is worth more than all
of your cars combined.
You ever refer to your computer as “Old Bessie.”
Jan 25 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: aid, alcohol, argument, bank, baptism, Baptist, bar, beaches, beacon, beer, Bible, bishop, Bubba, candle, car, cemetery, champagne, check, christmas, church, classic, color, colors, contribution, deer, designer, dog, donation, drunk, Easter, fashion, finance, fire, fish, fishing, flame, fool, funds, funny, ghost, gift, gin, hilarious, holiday, humor, icon, idiot, Jesus, jokes, lake, lamb, language, laughter, legend, light, liquor, loan, man, Mathematics, minister, model, money, moron, music, musician, obituary, ocean, pastor, perception, photos, play, pond, pool, pope, prayer, preacher, present, priest, pub, rain, rainbow, redneck, reverend, rivers, rum, Santa, Santa Claus, scotch, sea, season, sheep, sign, singer, smiles, sound, stupid, style, surprise, tequila, token, tool, tools, truck, vodka, water, weather, weight, whiskey, wine, woman, words
The Call to Worship is, “Y’all come on in!”
The Bible’s used mostly to create loud noises.
The collection plates are hub caps from a ‘56 Chevy.
The pastor says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering.” Then five guys and two women stand up
The baptismal fountain is a #2 galvanized washtub.
Baptism is referred to as “branding.”
Saltines and Boone Farm wine are used for communion.
The choir is known as the “OK Chorale.”
The choir robes were donated and embroidered with the logo from “Billy Bob’s Barbecue.”
High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
People think “rapture” is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
The pastor’s colorful shoes have a visible “8 1/2″ on the back.
You hear long prayers complaining about the weather and beer prices.
Holiday church decorations include Santa and the Easter Bunny.
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
Congregation grumbles about Noah letting coyotes on the ark.
Finding and returning lost sheep isn’t just a parable.
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ‘em.
A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because, “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of.”
There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
The church bulletin has the NASCAR schedule printed on the back.
The final words of the benediction are, “Y’all come back now, yah hear?”
The picture of Jesus looks a lot like Elvis!
Oct 07 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: baby, beauty, child, couple, father-in-law, funny, hilarious, husband, jokes, man, marriage, parents, redneck, spouse, wife, woman
“An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare.
With that as his mission he began to search for the perfect woman.
Shortly thereafter he met a Redneck who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the Redneck and asked for permission to marry one of them. Read More
Aug 29 2008
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: accident, America, Bubba, child, color, colors, deer, exam, finger, fingers, flight, fool, funny, granny, hilarious, humor, idea, ideas, idiot, jet, jokes, laughter, load, Mathematics, might, moment, mood, moron, mother, mother-in-law, passenger, pilot, plane, power, quiz, redneck, ring, smiles, stupid, test
Bubba and Earl———–Jus gotta love ‘em!
..
Two Redneck hunters from Louisiana got a pilot to fly them to Georgia to hunt deer. They bagged six.
As they started loading the plane for the return trip home, the pilot tells them the plane can only take four deer.
The two good old boys object strongly. “Last year we shot six and the pilot let us put them all on board; he had the same kind of plane as yours.”
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded.
Read More
Aug 16 2008