Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, alcohol, attorney, bar, beer, brain, champagne, companion, couple, court, drunk, elderly, exam, fool, funny, gin, granny, hilarious, humor, husband, idiot, jail, jokes, judge, language, laughter, law, lawyer, liquor, man, moron, mother, mother-in-law, office, partner, practice, relationship, rules, rum, scotch, seniors, smiles, spouse, tequila, test, vodka, voice, whiskey, wife, wine, woman, words, youth
. . . Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. . .
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In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.’
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The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?’ ..
She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal
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Jun 21 2011
Posted: under "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Inspirationals.
Tags: achievements, actions, anxiety, attention, belief, benefits, blessings, bliss, boss, change, character, child, comfort, courage, depression, development, direction, employee, employer, faith, family, friends, God, guidance, guide, happiness, health, inspiration, jail, job, journey, joy, law, learning, lessons, life, man, manager, Mathematics, moment, money, motivation, others, parents, patient, perfection, protection, psalm, relationship, road, rules, scripture, stress, success, task, test, touch, travel, trust, value, woman, work
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5 Ways God Uses Problems
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The problems you face will either defeat you or develop you – depending on how you respond to them.
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Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring. .
Here are five ways God wants to use the problems in your life:
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1. God uses problems to DIRECT you.
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Sometimes God must light a fire under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change. Is God trying to get your attention?
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Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways. (Read Proverbs 20:30)
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2. God uses problems to INSPECT you.
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People are like tea bags…if you want to know what’s inside them, just drop them into hot ever water! Has God tested your faith with a problem What do problems reveal about you?
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When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience. (Read James 1:2-3)
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3. God uses problems to CORRECT you.
Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It’s likely that as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot stove. But you probably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something…health, money, a relationship… by losing it.
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It was the best thing that could have happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to Your laws. (Read Psalm 119:71-72)
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4. God uses problems to PROTECT you.
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A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had
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May 02 2011
Posted: under "LOVE is LOVELY", "YUMMY FOOD FOR THOUGHT".
Tags: admiration, beauty, bliss, Britain, care, celebration, celebrity, ceremony, character, cheer, cheerfulness, companion, couple, culture, custom, dad, designer, embrace, family, fashion, father, flag, food, friends, granny, happiness, history, husband, joy, kisses, laughter, life, lifestyle, London, love, man, marriage, mother, mother-in-law, nation, palace, partner, personality, Queen Elizabeth, relationship, smiles, spouse, style, thought, wedding, wife, woman
Happiness is found in life itself!!!!
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“Happiness is inward
and not outward;
and so it does not
depend on what
we have,
but on what we are”
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– Henry van Dyke
May 02 2011
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW", "LOVE is LOVELY".
Tags: actor, actress, Africa, American, baby, beauty, belief, belt, blacks, bliss, boobs, bracelet, breasts, celebrity, champion, child, church, companion, couple, designer, diamonds, earrings, engagement, eyes, family, fashion, friends, future, game, gift, gold, gown, hands, happiness, holiday, Hollywood, hugs, husband, Idol, jewelry, job, joy, judge, kisses, laughter, life, London, love, makeup, man, marriage, minister, moment, money, music, necklace, palace, parents, partner, party, pastor, photos, platinum, preacher, present, priest, Prince, princess, pumps, queen, relationship, ring, season, singer, smiles, sport, sports, spouse, star, style, suit, task, tennis, time, vacation, Valentine's Day, video, wedding, wife, winner, woman, work
Engagements of the Year … 2010!
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Prince William and Kate Middleton
After eight years of dating, Prince William popped the question during a Kenyan vacation in October. Middleton, who now wears Princess Diana’s sapphire engagement ring, will walk down the aisle April 29, 2011 at Westminster Abbey in London.
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Keith Britton and Zoe Saldana
After 10 years of dating, Britton popped the question in June — but Saldana prefers to keep their engagement private. “She doesn’t even introduce him as her fiancé,” a source said. “She likes to keep her personal life to herself and wants people to focus on her as an actress.”
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Simon Cowell and Mezhgan Hussainy
The former American Idol judge proposed to the makeup artist in February. “I’m smitten with Mezghan. I think she’s The One,” Cowell said before presenting Hussainy with an estimated $750,000 ring. “You know when you’ve found somebody very special.”
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Niecy Nash and Jay Tucker
The couple first announced their engagement at a small party with friends and family in September. “I cannot believe that God has been this kind that he would gift me this man,” Nash gushed of Tucker. The lovebirds will tie the knot in May 2011.
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Shannon Brown and Monica
The singer met her future fiancé when he played her love interest in the video for her song “Love All Over Me.” Engaged in October, Monica said she and the L.A. Lakers player are “realistic” about their future and “know who we are.”
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Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson
After the news of their engagement was broken in November, Simpson hinted that their wedding
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Apr 01 2011
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW".
Tags: America, artist, beauty, bracelet, campaign, career, celebration, celebrity, designer, diamonds, dinner, earrings, elegance, Europe, eyes, fashion, first lady, gold, government, gown, hairdo, hairstyle, hands, honor, inauguration, interview, jewelry, lipstick, London, loyalty, makeup, money, necklace, New York, pearls, perfection, politics, president, queen, relationship, ring, smiles, style, team, White House, woman
Tousled hair and bright eyes
At a recent news conference, Michelle flaunts a wavy hairstyle and her famously sculpted brows, signature work of Grimes-Myles.
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Mar 11 2011
Posted: under Advice & Tips.
Tags: advice, beauty, choice, dreams, experience, family, friends, inspiration, joy, life, love, man, moments, nap, nature, passion, relationship, relaxation, rest, rhythm, sleep, soul, time, tips, tools, whisper, woman
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PONDER THESE THINGS
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A New Relationship with Time
(An excerpt from Dreams Are Whispers from the Soul)
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Probably no other complaint is voiced more often than not having enough time.
“I don’t have time to pursue my dreams or to even know what my dreams are. I don’t have time for me, for my family and friends. Basically, I don’t have time to live my life.”
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Passion is the ultimate time management tool for two reasons. First, when you are doing what you love, who cares about time? When you are with someone special, or listening to a great piece of music, or painting or volunteering, doesn’t time just fly by? Second, when you are doing what you love it often gets done faster.
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The way we spend our time is the way we spend our lives. Can you slow down enough to get “in synch” with life, nature, and most importantly, yourself? Tune in to your rhythm and natural pulse. Take off your watch and give yourself a day off. Eat when you’re hungry and sleep when you’re tired so you can discover who you are, what you need and what works best for you.
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Make a date with yourself, every day if possible. Even if for only a half hour, carving out time for you is a great act of generosity. Your work can usually wait a half hour, but your soul can’t.
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Whether we like it or not, the clock keeps ticking so live fully, every single second of every single day.
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Learn the true joy of doing less and having more as you experience each day as priceless. Fill your life