Humor
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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| GOOD SAMARITAN..
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?” A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d throw up.” .. DID NOAH FISH? .. A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?” “No,” replied Johnny. “How could he, with just two worms.” .. THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD .. A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23 . She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn’t remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, “The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.” .. UNANSWERED PRAYER .. The preacher’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. “Well, Honey,” he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. “I’m asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.” “How come He doesn’t answer it?” she asked. .. BEING THANKFUL .. A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, “So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That’s very commendable. What does she say?” The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!” .. ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS .. When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, “and all girls.” This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, “Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?” Her response, “Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying ‘All Men’!” .. SAY A PRAYER .. Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother’s house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. “Johnny!
A MountainWings Moment - Don’t Mess with MomPosted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny Poetry, Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
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Don’t Mess with Mom . ~*~
~*~ It says I need not clean my room,
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Best Bible TranslationPosted: under "A Slice Of Life".
.There were four clergymen who were discussing the merits of the various translations of the Bible... One liked the King James Version because of its simple, beautiful English... Another liked the American Revised Version best because it is more literal and came nearer to the original Hebrew and Greek... Still another liked Moffat’s translation because of its up-to-date vocabulary... The fourth minister was silent. When asked to express his opinion, he replied, “I like my mother’s translation best.”.. Read More
A MountainWings Moment — God’s RosebudPosted: under "A Slice Of Life", "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Inspirationals. . God’s Rosebud A new minister .. .. .. .. .. ..
Little John the BaptistPosted: under Short Funny Jokes.
. Johnny’s Mother looked out the window and noticed him “playing church” with their cat. . He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. . She smiled and went about her work. . A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the
I don’t want to come this way againPosted: under "A Slice Of Life", "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Inspirationals.
. I have a dear friend who is a minister. We talk almost every day, and she has a way of counseling, planting seeds and providing insight that makes you think YOU came up with the answer or solution. I often run my issues of life past her. Recently, we were having a conversation about how God is working things out of me and purging me of some of my sinful ways so that He can use me. She laughed when I shared with her that the process is no fun. She tried to convince me that the process isn’t so bad, when finally and adamantly I told her that this process is absolutely no fun, but I’m going through it because I want God to get me where He wants me, and I don’t want to have to come this way again. We both laughed at that because she knew exactly what I meant... Too often, as Christians, we like to say the ‘politically correct’ things, sugar coat what I call our ‘pruning process’ and make everything sound like it’s just hunky-dory. “Oh, I just want God to use me for His Glory,” or “I can’t wait to see how God is going to work this out.” Well, I’m more inclined to ‘be real’ and call it like I see it. It’s not always pretty, fun or something to look forward to. Sometimes it’s difficult, uncomfortable and painful to go through some of the things that God allows in our lives. It doesn’t make me love Him any less, nor do I want Him to stop preparing me for the things He has in store for me. But the reality is: it’s not always fun or pleasant on this journey; not if you’re doing it right.
There are some days when I get tired, discouraged or just want to quit, and I start thinking what’s the use? But I’m drawn to and Read More
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 Mar 30 2010 |
