Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny Poetry, Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: anger, art, attitude, behavior, belt, body, butt, car, check, child, children, class, classroom, computer, control, depression, dinner, duty, earrings, education, educator, exam, example, eyes, fashion, food, freedom, funds, funny, God, granny, hairstyle, hands, hilarious, home, House, hug, hugs, humor, influence, internet, job, jokes, kisses, labor, lake, language, laughter, law, learning, lesson, life, lunch, moment, money, moral, mother, mother-in-law, mountain, movie, ocean, online, pants, parent, pastor, phone, pond, pool, prayer, preacher, priest, Professor, reading, recipe, rectum, reverend, rivers, road, role model, rules, school, sea, service, smiles, snack, snacks, stream, stress, style, task, teacher, television, test, today, touch, traffic, travel, treats, tutor, values, vehicle, voice, water, waterfall, waterfalls, words, work
.
Don’t Mess with Mom
====================
.
My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
He’d decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.
~*~
“Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that’s taught by Mr. Wright?
It’s all about the laws today,
The “Children’s Bill of Rights.”
~*~
It says I need not clean my room,
don’t have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.
~*~
I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don’t have to bow my head,
and I sure don’t have to pray.
~*~
I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
and get tattoos from head to toes.
~*~
And if you ever spank me,
I’ll charge you with the crime.
I’ll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.
~*~
Don’t you ever touch me,
my body’s only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that’s just more child abuse.
~*~
Don’t preach about your morals,
like your mama did to you.
That’s nothing more than mind control,
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Dec 04 2011
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life".
Tags: action, attitude, behavior, belief, Bible, bishop, character, child, example, faith, family, friends, friendship, God, inspiration, language, life, love, man, minister, morals, mother, parent, pastor, personality, pope, preacher, priest, respect, reverend, role model, scripture, smiles, trust, values, woman, words
.
There were four clergymen who were discussing the merits of the various translations of the Bible.
..
One liked the King James Version because of its simple, beautiful English.
..
Another liked the American Revised Version best because it is more literal and came nearer to the original Hebrew and Greek.
..
Still another liked Moffat’s translation because of its up-to-date vocabulary.
..
The fourth minister was silent. When asked to express his opinion, he replied, “I like my mother’s translation best.”
..
Mar 11 2011
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Inspirationals.
Tags: advice, age, bishop, Christ, day, elderly, eyes, flowers, God, grown ups, guidance, inspiration, Jesus, life, lifestyle, lifetime, Lord, man, minister, moment, mountain, pastor, path, perception, pope, preacher, priest, respect, reverend, rose, roses, secret, seniors, sermon, tips, trust, vision, wisdom, youth
.
God’s Rosebud
==============
.
A new minister
was walking with an older,
more seasoned minister
in the garden one day.
..
Feeling a bit insecure
about what God
had for him to do,
he was asking the older preacher
for some advice.
..
The older preacher
walked up to a rosebush
and handed the young preacher
a rosebud and told him
to open it
without tearing off any petals.
..
The young preacher
looked in disbelief
at the older preacher
and was trying to figure out
what a rosebud
could possibly have to do
with his wanting to know
the will of God
for his life and ministry.
..
But because of his great respect
for the older preacher,
he proceeded to try to unfold the rose,
while keeping every petal intact.
..
It wasn’t long
before he realized
how impossible
this was to do.
..
Noticing the younger preacher’s
inability to unfold the rosebud
without tearing it,
the older preacher began
to recite the following poem…
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May 21 2010
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: baptism, Baptist, bishop, cat, child, church, duty, eyes, funny, hilarious, humor, job, jokes, labor, lake, language, laughter, Little Johnny, man, minister, mother, ocean, parent, pastor, pond, pool, pope, preacher, priest, rain, reverend, rivers, sea, sermon, short, smiles, sound, stream, Sunday, task, thought, water, woman, words, work
.
Johnny’s Mother looked out the window and noticed him “playing church” with their cat.
.
He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it.
.
She smiled and went about her work.
.
A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the
Read More
Apr 29 2010
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Inspirationals.
Tags: belief, bishop, blessings, burden, challenge, challenges, Christian, cross, depression, exam, faith, focus, friends, glory, God, inspiration, journey, learning, life, link, listening, load, love, minister, music, pastor, pope, prayer, preacher, priest, process, reverend, scripture, storm, struggles, test, trust, video, weight, world
.
I have a dear friend who is a minister. We talk almost every day, and she has a way of counseling, planting seeds and providing insight that makes you think YOU came up with the answer or solution. I often run my issues of life past her. Recently, we were having a conversation about how God is working things out of me and purging me of some of my sinful ways so that He can use me. She laughed when I shared with her that the process is no fun. She tried to convince me that the process isn’t so bad, when finally and adamantly I told her that this process is absolutely no fun, but I’m going through it because I want God to get me where He wants me, and I don’t want to have to come this way again. We both laughed at that because she knew exactly what I meant.
..
Too often, as Christians, we like to say the ‘politically correct’ things, sugar coat what I call our ‘pruning process’ and make everything sound like it’s just hunky-dory. “Oh, I just want God to use me for His Glory,” or “I can’t wait to see how God is going to work this out.” Well, I’m more inclined to ‘be real’ and call it like I see it. It’s not always pretty, fun or something to look forward to. Sometimes it’s difficult, uncomfortable and painful to go through some of the things that God allows in our lives. It doesn’t make me love Him any less, nor do I want Him to stop preparing me for the things He has in store for me. But the reality is: it’s not always fun or pleasant on this journey; not if you’re doing it right.
There are some days when I get tired, discouraged or just want to quit, and I start thinking what’s the use? But I’m drawn to and
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Advice & Tips, Inspirationals.
Tags: advice, anxiety, bird, bliss, carpenter, chance, children, companion, couple, depression, earth, emotion, energy, family, funny, global, globe, hand, happiness, home, House, husband, inspiration, job, joy, life, man, minister, others, partner, pastor, pope, preacher, present, priest, purpose, reverend, spouse, stress, task, time, tips, tool, tools, truck, universe, wife, wisdom, woman, work, world
A sign in a pet store read, “If anybody has seen the Bluebird of
Happiness, would you please notify this pet store?”
..
Happiness seems to be in short supply for many people. If the
results of recent surveys can be trusted, there is a general decline
of happiness in today’s world. And people were not all that
cheerful a few years back! It was Oliver Wendell Holmes who stated,
“I might have been a minister for aught I know, if a certain
clergyman had not looked and talked like an undertaker.” (I have to
say, though, that some clergy and undertakers I’ve known could teach
the rest of us something about joy.)
..
Joy and happiness are not always the same things. Happiness can be
thought of as more of a temporary, emotional condition, often based
on outside circumstances. Joy, on the other hand, is deeper. It is
often contentment in spite of the unsettling present. We can be
basically joyful, regardless of a particular unhappy situation that
we may be enduring. It is sometimes just a matter of keeping
perspective on our troubles, and especially when those troubles
seem to be in long supply.
You may know the story of the man who had a marvelous way of keeping
joy in his life. He was a carpenter. He followed the same ritual
every day when he came home from the job. He stopped by a small tree