Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "LOVE is LOVELY", "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Inspirationals.
Tags: abroad, accident, age, aid, aim, air, air force, amazement, America, army, aroma, attention, belief, blessings, blood, bridge, care, caring, cheer, club, cologne, commitment, community, companion, contribution, cosmetic, country, couple, cure, designer, destination, doctor, donation, duty, effort, efforts, entertainment, era, exam, example, faith, family, fashion, fish, fishing, flag, force, foreign, fragrance, friends, friendship, fun, funny, funtime, gift, girl, goal, God, granny, gratitude, group, gynecologist, healing, health, highway, hilarious, history, humor, husband, hygiene, imagination, inspiration, job, jokes, journey, labor, land, laughter, letter, life, lifestyle, lifetime, love, mail, man, marine, marines, medical, medicine, military, mission, moment, morale, mother, mother-in-law, mountain, nation, navy, need, needs, neighbor, odor, others, partner, patriotic, patriotism, perfume, period, personnel, physician, pledge, present, quiz, relaxation, rest, road, role model, Savior, scent, service, sharing, sleep, smell, smiles, soldier, soldiers, son, specialist, spirit, spouse, style, success, surgeon, surprise, task, test, thankfulness, time, token, tour, traffic, travel, trip, troops, truck, vehicle, war, wife, wind, woman, work
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Tampons
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My son told me how wonderful the care packages we had sent them
from the ladies auxiliary were and wanted me to tell everyone
thank you.
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He said that one guy we’ll call Marine X, got a female care
package and everyone was giving him a hard time. My son said,
‘Marine X got some really nice smelling lotion and everyone
really likes it, so every time he goes to sleep they steal it
from him.’ I told my son I was really sorry about the mistake,
and if he wanted I would send Marine X another package. He told
me not to worry about Marine X because every time I send
something to him, he shares it with Marine X.
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He said when my husband and I sent the last care package, Marine
X came over to his cot picked up the box, started fishing
through it, and said, ‘What’d we get this time?’
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But my son said they had the most fun with Marine X’s package.
He said he wasn’t sure who it was supposed to go to, but the
panties were size 20, and he said one of the guys got on top of
the Humvee and jumped off with the panties over his head and
yelled, ‘Look at me, I’m an Airborne Ranger!!!!’
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One of the guys attached the panties to an antenna and it blew
in the wind like a windsock. He said it entertained them for
quite awhile. Then of course…….they had those tampons. When
he brought this up, my imagination just went running, but he
continued.
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My son said they had to go on a mission and Marine X wanted the
Chap-Stick and lotion for the trip. He grabbed a bunch of the
items from his care package and got in the Humvee. As luck would
have it he grabbed the tampons too, and my son said everyone was
teasing him about ‘not forgetting his feminine hygiene
products.’
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He said things went well for a while, then the convoy was
ambushed and a Marine was shot. He said the wound was pretty
clean, but it was deep. He said they were administering first
aid but couldn’t get the bleeding to slow down, and someone
said, ‘Hey! Use Marine X’s tampons!’ My son said they put the
tampon in the wound. At this point my son profoundly told Me,
Read More
Mar 09 2012
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: age, aid, anxiety, bank, belief, brain, bridge, burden, care, caring, check, community, compassion, contribution, cross, decision, depression, destination, dialect, donation, era, exam, example, exercise, eyes, faith, funds, funny, gift, God, heart, highway, hilarious, history, home, hope, House, humor, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, journey, language, laughter, legs, letter, listening, load, loan, love, mail, man, mind, model, money, neighbor, office, others, pain, path, patois, pencil, period, prayer, present, quiz, reading, road, robber, role model, sharing, smiles, spirit, stress, struggles, surprise, test, thief, thought, time, token, traffic, travel, trial, trials, trip, trust, vernacular, village, weight, woman, wonder, words, worries, worry
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A man became desperate after praying to God to help him. Not seeing any help coming to him he decided to write to God instead.
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He wrote, “Gad mi tiad fi pray an yuh nah ansa mi. Sumtime mi wanda if yuh caan hear mi. Suh mi tink it betta fi mi write yuh caa mi kno yuh wi read it.
Gad mi bruk an only a beg yuh 3 tousand dallas. Tanx!”
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He went to the post office and mailed his letter to
Heaven District, Heaven P.O.
The post mistress not knowing where to send the letter decided to read it.
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Moved by it, all the workers contributed money but could only arrive at 2500 dollars. Regardless,
they sent it to the man
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A few weeks later he picked up his mail at the post office, rushed home and was shocked to find only Read More
Mar 08 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: accident, age, aid, anxiety, attorney, barn, bridge, car, country, cow, destination, era, farmer, funny, highway, hilarious, history, humor, jokes, journey, language, laughter, lawyer, license, man, Mathematics, movement, noise, path, period, pig, rabbi, religion, repairs, road, sleep, smiles, sound, surprise, time, tour, tourist, traffic, trick, trip, vehicle, words
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A Rabbi, A Hindu and a Lawyer
==============================
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A Rabbi, a Hindu and a lawyer were driving late at night in the
country when their car expired. They set out to find help, and
came to a farmhouse. When they knocked at the door, the farmer
explained that he had only two beds, and one of the three had to
sleep in the barn with the animals. The three quickly agreed.
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The Rabbi said he would sleep in the barn and let the other two
have the beds. Ten minutes after the Rabbi left, there was a
knock on the bedroom door. The Rabbi entered exclaiming,
“I can’t sleep in the barn; there is a pig in there.
It’s against my religion to sleep in the same room with a pig!”
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The Hindu said HE would sleep in the barn, as he had no
religious problem with pigs. However, about five minutes later,
the Hindu burst through the bedroom door saying, “There’s a COW
in the barn! I can’t sleep in the same room as a cow!
It’s against my religion!”
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The lawyer, anxious to get to sleep, said he’d go to the barn,
Read More
Mar 07 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, air, arm, arms, aroma, beans, birth, birthday, bridge, car, cemetery, companion, couple, decision, destination, dinner, duty, effect, eggs, era, family, fart, feeling, flowers, food, force, fragrance, friends, funny, gas, ghost, girl, hand, hands, highway, hilarious, history, home, House, humor, husband, job, jokes, journey, labor, language, laughter, legs, love, man, marriage, movement, noise, obituary, odor, partner, party, passion, path, peas, perfume, period, phone, power, prize, promise, repairs, restaurant, road, sacrifice, scent, smell, smiles, sound, spouse, surprise, tablecloth, task, time, travel, trip, vehicle, weight, wife, wind, winner, woman, words, work
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….
Once upon a time there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, he adored them, he yearned for them. But they always caused him a great deal of embarrassment shortly after eating them.
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One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he realized she might be even more embarrassed and humiliated by his addiction to baked beans. He decided to make the supreme sacrifice and give up his beloved baked beans. A short time later they were married.
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Some months later, on his way home from work, his car broke down. He was not too far from home so he decided to leave the car and walk the rest of the way. He passed a small roadside cafe and decided to call his wife and tell her that he would be late for supper. As he entered the cafe, the smell of baked beans overwhelmed him. He still had several miles to go, and decided that he could walk off any after-effects before reaching home. Before he knew it, he had eaten three large plates of baked beans. Even as he left the cafe, the effects began to be felt. He pooted up a hill, and poot-pooted down the other side. As he grew closer to home, the frequency and forcefulness diminished greatly, and he felt reasonably safe.
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Just as he reached his home, however, he felt a great rumbling inside and was seized with a terrible urgency. As he waited just outside his front door to release one last effort, his wife threw open the door. She excitedly exclaimed, “Darling, I have made the most wonderful surprise dinner for you.”
She blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the table. Just as she was ready to remove the blindfold, the phone rang. She made him promise not to peek until she returned and went to answer the phone.
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When she had gone, he seized the opportunity, shifted his weight to one leg and loudly broke wind. It was not only loud, but as ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he took his napkin
and began to fan the air about him. He just started feeling better when he felt another urge. He again raised one leg and let her rip. It sounded like a tuba and smelled so bad that he started gagging. He fanned until his arms ached. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another powerful
Read More
Feb 27 2012
Posted: under Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: accident, age, beauty, bliss, check, cheer, classic, color, colors, destination, duty, election, era, funds, funny, government, happiness, highway, hilarious, history, humor, job, jokes, journey, joy, labor, language, laughter, light, loan, mind, model, money, music, musician, nation, noise, office, path, period, politics, pride, radio, road, salesman, singer, smiles, sound, support, supporter, task, time, tour, tourist, traffic, travel, trip, truck, vehicle, voice, vote, voter, words, work
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I bought a new Chevy Avalanche
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And returned to the dealer yesterday
Because I couldn’t get the radio to work.
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The salesman explained that the radio was voice Activated.
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‘Nelson,’ the salesman said to the radio.
The radio replied, ‘Ricky or Willie?’
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‘Willie!’ he continued and ‘On The Road Again’
Came from The speakers.
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Then he said, ‘Ray Charles!’, and in an instant ‘
Georgia On My Mind’ replaced Willie Nelson.
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I drove away happy, and for the next few days, Every
Time I’d say, ‘Beethoven,’
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I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said,
Beatles,’ I’d get one of their awesome songs.
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Yesterday, some guy ran a red light
And nearly creamed my new truck,
Read More
Feb 23 2012
Posted: under "Jazzy REGGAE ~ Irie Riddim".
Tags: abroad, Africa, age, aid, album, America, artist, awards, band, bank, beauty, belief, birth, birthday, black, blacks, Bob Marley, brain, bridge, Canada, cancer, career, Caribbean, celebrity, cemetery, charity, check, child, children, Cindy Breakspeare, club, color, colors, competition, contest, contribution, country, crown, dad, Damian Marley, dance, destination, donation, dreadlocks, duty, earth, era, faith, family, father, festival, Florida, foreign, freedom, funds, ghost, gift, girl, global, globe, grammy, granny, group, guitarist, health, highway, history, home, House, humanitarian, humanity, icon, international, island, Jamaica, Jamaican, job, journey, Julian Marley, Kingston, labor, land, legend, life, lifestyle, lifetime, lion, loan, love, Miami, mind, Miss Jamaica, Miss Universe, Miss World, money, mother, mother-in-law, music, musician, nation, obituary, paradise, party, path, peace, performance, period, present, principle, queen, race, rasta, rastafarian, reggae, road, school, sexy, Shabba Ranks, shepherd, show, skill, son, sound, Stephen Marley, talent, task, team, time, title, token, tour, tourist, travel, trip, unity, universe, voice, winner, wonder, work, world, youth
Damian Marley
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Damian Robert Nesta “Junior Gong” Marley (born July 21, 1978), is a reggae artist, a humanitarian, and the youngest son of the late reggae legend Bob Marley. He has won three Grammy awards.
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Damian was two years old when his father died; he is the only child born to Marley and Cindy Breakspeare, Miss World 1976. Damian’s nickname Junior Gong is derived from his father’s nickname of Tuff Gong. Damian has been performing since the age of 13. He shares, along with most of the Marley family, a full-time career in music. Unlike his brothers and sisters, however, his musical specialty is “toasting”, a Jamaican vocal technique that is a predecessor to rapping.
Personal life and beliefs
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Born as Damian Marley, he was nicknamed “Jr. Gong” in honor of his legendary father, Bob “Tuff Gong” Marley. He has 13-half siblings total; 11 on his father’s side and 2 on his mother’s side. Damian was only two years old when his father died, killed by the spread of melanoma to his
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Feb 19 2012