Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: advice, age, argument, attorney, bank, care, career, check, court, cure, dance, day, doctor, duty, encouragement, era, exam, feeling, feelings, funds, funny, gynecologist, health, hilarious, history, hospital, humor, job, jokes, judge, labor, laughter, law, lawyer, letter, loan, mail, man, medical, medication, medicine, money, office, others, party, period, pharmacist, pharmacy, physician, quiz, remedies, rules, smiles, specialist, surgeon, surprise, task, test, time, tips, woman, work
.
Billing
========
.
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.
Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people
describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical
advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer,
“What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice
when you’re out of the office?”
“I give it to them,” replied the lawyer, “and then I send them a
bill.”
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
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Feb 15 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: cemetery, companion, couple, difference, divorce, earth, eyes, funny, ghost, global, globe, hilarious, humor, husband, jail, jokes, laughter, law, license, Lord, marriage, medication, mercy, partner, pharmacist, pharmacy, photos, respect, rules, sleep, smiles, spouse, universe, wife, world
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DIVORCE VS. MURDER
.
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy,
walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eye
said, ‘I would like to buy some cyanide.’
..
The pharmacist asked, ‘Why in the world do you need cyanide?’
..
The lady replied, ‘I need it to poison my husband.’
..
The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, ‘Lord have
mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband.
..
That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us
in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not!
You CANNOT have any cyanide!’
..
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of
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Dec 06 2011
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Funny Poetry, Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: anger, art, attitude, behavior, belt, body, butt, car, check, child, children, class, classroom, computer, control, depression, dinner, duty, earrings, education, educator, exam, example, eyes, fashion, food, freedom, funds, funny, God, granny, hairstyle, hands, hilarious, home, House, hug, hugs, humor, influence, internet, job, jokes, kisses, labor, lake, language, laughter, law, learning, lesson, life, lunch, moment, money, moral, mother, mother-in-law, mountain, movie, ocean, online, pants, parent, pastor, phone, pond, pool, prayer, preacher, priest, Professor, reading, recipe, rectum, reverend, rivers, road, role model, rules, school, sea, service, smiles, snack, snacks, stream, stress, style, task, teacher, television, test, today, touch, traffic, travel, treats, tutor, values, vehicle, voice, water, waterfall, waterfalls, words, work
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Don’t Mess with Mom
====================
.
My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
He’d decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.
~*~
“Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that’s taught by Mr. Wright?
It’s all about the laws today,
The “Children’s Bill of Rights.”
~*~
It says I need not clean my room,
don’t have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.
~*~
I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don’t have to bow my head,
and I sure don’t have to pray.
~*~
I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
and get tattoos from head to toes.
~*~
And if you ever spank me,
I’ll charge you with the crime.
I’ll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.
~*~
Don’t you ever touch me,
my body’s only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that’s just more child abuse.
~*~
Don’t preach about your morals,
like your mama did to you.
That’s nothing more than mind control,
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Dec 04 2011
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, alcohol, attorney, bar, beer, brain, champagne, companion, couple, court, drunk, elderly, exam, fool, funny, gin, granny, hilarious, humor, husband, idiot, jail, jokes, judge, language, laughter, law, lawyer, liquor, man, moron, mother, mother-in-law, office, partner, practice, relationship, rules, rum, scotch, seniors, smiles, spouse, tequila, test, vodka, voice, whiskey, wife, wine, woman, words, youth
. . . Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. . .
.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.’
..
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?’ ..
She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal
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Jun 21 2011
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW".
Tags: actor, actress, American, baby, beauty, belief, belt, bliss, bracelet, colors, competition, computer, contest, contestant, courage, dance, designer, diamonds, dreadlocks, duty, earrings, earth, election, faith, fashion, fashionista, feelings, fool, girl, gold, gown, hairdo, hairstyle, happiness, harmony, heart, hero, home, House, Idol, internet, jacket, jewelry, job, journey, joy, judge, language, law, leader, life, love, man, Mathematics, melody, Michael Jackson, miracle, music, nation, nature, necklace, online, pearls, performance, pumps, ring, rivers, road, rules, season, singer, smiles, strength, style, suit, summer, sunshine, talent, task, television, test, travel, trophy, trust, umbrella, universe, updo, voice, winner, woman, words, work, world
Season 10
=========
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Top 3 finalists: Lauren Alaina (aka the Chosen One) and Haley Reinhart wowed their way to the top in fabulous style and fashion……
.
.
Haley Reinhart performs “Beautiful”
by Carole King
****
.
Lauren Alaina performs “Flat on the Floor”
by Katrina Elam
****
.
Haley Reinhart performs “Bennie and the Jets”
by Elton John
and also
“You’ve Really got a Hold on Me”
by The Miracles
****
.
Naima Adedapo performs “Summertime”
by George Gershwin
****
.
Ashton Jones performs “Love All Over Me”
by Monica
****
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May 13 2011
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW", "LOVE is LOVELY", Advice & Tips, Inspirationals.
Tags: age, attorney, beauty, bliss, care, child, compassion, court, earth, elderly, enthusiasm, example, eyes, glamour, granny, happiness, home, House, humanity, Inspirationals, joy, judge, kindness, language, law, lawyer, life, love, magazine, man, mirror, moment, mother, mother-in-law, others, parent, reflection, role model, rules, seniors, smiles, spirit, trust, truth, universe, vision, voice, woman, words, world
.
You Are Beautiful
==================
.
You are beautiful. . .
.
It’s a phrase that my mother uses a lot.. I used to wonder, “How in the world can Mother call them
beautiful?”
.
I am a logical, statistical man.
I call things as I see them.
I didn’t see beauty.
.
My mother would tell people this with an enthusiasm they
could feel. She was genuine. She wasn’t telling them they
were beautiful to get something from them. Most of the
time, they were trying to get something from her.
.
I wondered for years what was wrong with Mother’s perception and
vision. Couldn’t she see that all of the people she called
beautiful, weren’t beautiful?
.
You were beautiful only if you had a certain figure and face
that was classed as beautiful by the laws of the world and
glamour. Yet when my mother spoke, people smiled as though
Glamour magazine had listed them as one of the beautiful people
of the year.
.
It took me years to finally understand my mother’s vision
and the phrase, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”
.
My mother had a spirit that could see the beauty in a person. .Most only look on the outside and then compare what they
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May 08 2011