Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: attorney, cop, court, dialect, food, funny, hilarious, honor, humor, Jamaica, Jamaican, jokes, judge, language, laughter, law, lawyer, man, money, officer, patois, patrolman, police, rules, sheriff, smiles, sugar, treats, trooper, vernacular, words
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A Jamaican man went into a store and picked up a bottle of juice and a bag of sugar and only paid for the juice and walked out………he got arrested for stealing the sugar.
He went to court, the judge asked him why he stole the sugar……….he then replied,
“Yuh Honor, mi nah tief no sugar…..mi look pon de back ah de juice
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May 05 2011
Posted: under "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Inspirationals.
Tags: achievements, actions, anxiety, attention, belief, benefits, blessings, bliss, boss, change, character, child, comfort, courage, depression, development, direction, employee, employer, faith, family, friends, God, guidance, guide, happiness, health, inspiration, jail, job, journey, joy, law, learning, lessons, life, man, manager, Mathematics, moment, money, motivation, others, parents, patient, perfection, protection, psalm, relationship, road, rules, scripture, stress, success, task, test, touch, travel, trust, value, woman, work
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5 Ways God Uses Problems
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The problems you face will either defeat you or develop you – depending on how you respond to them.
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Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring. .
Here are five ways God wants to use the problems in your life:
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1. God uses problems to DIRECT you.
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Sometimes God must light a fire under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change. Is God trying to get your attention?
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Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways. (Read Proverbs 20:30)
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2. God uses problems to INSPECT you.
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People are like tea bags…if you want to know what’s inside them, just drop them into hot ever water! Has God tested your faith with a problem What do problems reveal about you?
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When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience. (Read James 1:2-3)
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3. God uses problems to CORRECT you.
Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It’s likely that as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot stove. But you probably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something…health, money, a relationship… by losing it.
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It was the best thing that could have happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to Your laws. (Read Psalm 119:71-72)
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4. God uses problems to PROTECT you.
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A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had
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May 02 2011
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW".
Tags: ability, age, aid, America, American, bank, care, check, children, citizen, college, community, education, elderly, era, family, favor, government, grown ups, happiness, health, language, law, lawyer, life, loan, man, money, nation, others, politics, president, rules, school, seniors, smiles, student, time, White House, woman, words, youth
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WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama has signed a law that finalizes his health care overhaul and makes the government the issuer of all federal college loans.
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The president completed the measure at Northern Virginia Community College, where he emphasized new help for college students.
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The legislation was the second of two steps needed for the Democratic-led House and Senate to approve a health care package affecting virtually all Americans. The new law makes a series of
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: attorney, blossoms, color, companion, cop, couple, court, enlightenment, eyes, family, home, husband, inspiration, judge, law, lawyer, light, man, memory, mind, moment, money, mountain, officer, others, parents, partner, passport, patrolman, police, rules, sheriff, spirit, spouse, trooper, visa, wife, woman
Look Into Your Eyes
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I was online to renew my passport.
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I answered question after question. Most were simple questions
that were easily answered, but then it got to a hard one.
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What color are your eyes?
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I didn’t know the answer!
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Now you may ask, “What kind of man doesn’t know what color his
eyes are?”
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Were my eyes black or brown?
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I honestly didn’t know. I’m sure that I once did, but I
certainly
wouldn’t bet a large sum of money on a guess right then.
I couldn’t remember what color my eyes were.
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It reminded me of the lawyer cross-examining a witness in court
and to prove that his memory was unreliable, he put his hand on
the man’s neck shielding his tie from his view and asked him,
“What color tie do you have on?”
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Needless to say, the witness didn’t know. I hear you saying,
“But your eye color isn’t like that tie!” Well, actually it
was, because I didn’t know what color they were.
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My wife was out of town with the kids visiting her parents.
I was the only one in the house. So I did what any man would do
who couldn’t remember his eye color and didn’t have anyone
close who could look into his eyes and tell him.
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Oct 07 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, attorney, bar, beer, brandy, Bubba, champagne, court, food, funny, gin, health, hilarious, humor, jokes, judge, laughter, law, lawyer, man, redneck, restaurant, rules, rum, scotch, sleep, smiles, tequila, whiskey, wine, woman
Somewhere in the deep South, Bubba called an attorney and asked, “Is it true they’re suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?”
“Yes, Bubba, that is true.”
“And people are suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries … is that true, mister lawyer?”
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Jun 20 2009
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: attorney, bank, car, check, classic, court, funds, funny, honor, humor, jokes, judge, laughter, law, lawyer, loan, model, money, reason, robber, rules, short, smiles, thief
Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz
and, after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presidedat the hearing.
“Your honour,” he said, “I wanna get out a warrant for
that dirty lawyer of mine.”
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Apr 13 2009
