Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, air, arm, arms, aroma, beans, birth, birthday, bridge, car, cemetery, companion, couple, decision, destination, dinner, duty, effect, eggs, era, family, fart, feeling, flowers, food, force, fragrance, friends, funny, gas, ghost, girl, hand, hands, highway, hilarious, history, home, House, humor, husband, job, jokes, journey, labor, language, laughter, legs, love, man, marriage, movement, noise, obituary, odor, partner, party, passion, path, peas, perfume, period, phone, power, prize, promise, repairs, restaurant, road, sacrifice, scent, smell, smiles, sound, spouse, surprise, tablecloth, task, time, travel, trip, vehicle, weight, wife, wind, winner, woman, words, work
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Once upon a time there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, he adored them, he yearned for them. But they always caused him a great deal of embarrassment shortly after eating them.
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One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he realized she might be even more embarrassed and humiliated by his addiction to baked beans. He decided to make the supreme sacrifice and give up his beloved baked beans. A short time later they were married.
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Some months later, on his way home from work, his car broke down. He was not too far from home so he decided to leave the car and walk the rest of the way. He passed a small roadside cafe and decided to call his wife and tell her that he would be late for supper. As he entered the cafe, the smell of baked beans overwhelmed him. He still had several miles to go, and decided that he could walk off any after-effects before reaching home. Before he knew it, he had eaten three large plates of baked beans. Even as he left the cafe, the effects began to be felt. He pooted up a hill, and poot-pooted down the other side. As he grew closer to home, the frequency and forcefulness diminished greatly, and he felt reasonably safe.
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Just as he reached his home, however, he felt a great rumbling inside and was seized with a terrible urgency. As he waited just outside his front door to release one last effort, his wife threw open the door. She excitedly exclaimed, “Darling, I have made the most wonderful surprise dinner for you.”
She blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the table. Just as she was ready to remove the blindfold, the phone rang. She made him promise not to peek until she returned and went to answer the phone.
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When she had gone, he seized the opportunity, shifted his weight to one leg and loudly broke wind. It was not only loud, but as ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he took his napkin
and began to fan the air about him. He just started feeling better when he felt another urge. He again raised one leg and let her rip. It sounded like a tuba and smelled so bad that he started gagging. He fanned until his arms ached. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another powerful
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Feb 27 2012
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW".
Tags: age, aroma, beans, beauty, bird, bliss, body, boobs, bowl, brandy, breakfast, breasts, calories, carrot, carrots, cheese, chicken, classic, cold, color, colors, comfort, diet, dinner, direction, directions, duty, eggs, era, exercise, fat, fats, fire, food, foods, fragrance, hand, hands, happiness, health, home, House, ice, ingredient, ingredients, job, joy, labor, meal, meat, milk, nutrition, odor, oil, onion, pasta, peas, pepper, period, plant, plants, recipe, restaurant, sacrifice, sandwich, sauce, scent, season, seasoning, service, smiles, snack, snacks, snow, stream, sugar, tablecloth, task, taste, thyme, time, touch, turkey, vegetable, vegetables, veggie, veggies, water, wine, work, yogurt
Classic Comfort Foods Made Healthy
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Here are blue plate specials with nutritious twists―so you can enjoy these beautiful dishes even more, without sacrificing one ounce of good taste.
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Beef Stroganoff
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Beef Stroganoff With Yogurt and Dill
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Serves 4| Hands-On Time: 25m | Total Time: 25m
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Ingredients
12 ounces multigrain noodles
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 pound sirloin steak, thinly sliced kosher salt and pepper
1 pound button mushrooms, sliced
4 shallots, sliced
1/2 cup dry white wine
1/4 cup nonfat Greek yogurt
1/4 cup chopped fresh dill
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- Calories 535 Calories From Fat 22%
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Directions
Cook the noodles according to the package directions. Meanwhile, heat 1 tablespoon of the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Season the steak with ¼ teaspoon each salt and pepper. In 2 batches, cook the steak until browned, about 1 minute per side. Transfer to a plate. Return the skillet to medium heat and add the remaining oil. Add the mushrooms and shallots; cook, stirring occasionally, until tender, 5 to 6 minutes. Add the wine and simmer until the liquid has reduced by half, 2 to 3 minutes. Return the beef and accumulated juices to the skillet and cook until
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Jan 12 2012
Posted: under "SMILE" Jamaica ~ "Once You Go --- You Know".
Tags: achievements, aid, athlete, awards, bliss, Canada, Canadian, celebration, ceremony, champion, charity, contribution, country, dedication, development, discipline, donation, excitement, family, gift, global, happiness, home, honor, importance, inspiration, Jamaica, Jamaican, jewelry, joy, life, London, mother, Olympics, parent, present, presentation, sacrifice, significance, smiles, society, sports, sprinter, Toronto, Usain Bolt, winner, world
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Jennifer Bolt (in picture), mom of Jamaican sprinter, Usain Bolt, presented with a gold pendant in celebration of the dedication and sacrifices she has made for her children. The presentation occurred during the P&G and the IOC partnership announcement in London on Thursday, July 28 where P&G also announced the globalization of the ‘Proud Sponsor of Mom’ campaign and the video series “P&G Momumentary: Raising an Olympian,” where Bolt will provide the type of insight only the mom of an Olympian can.
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Mrs Jennifer Bolt, mother of World and Olympic sprint champion Usain Bolt, has also been chosen as the first recepient of the International Mothers of Distinction (IMOD) award.
The inaugural awards ceremony will be held on May 7, 2011 in Toronto.
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Mrs Bolt was chosen because of the significant impact she has had on the life of her son.
She was lauded for the significant achievements of her son, noting that Usain has brought back a certain excitement to international athletics that was not there in recent times and has elevated the Jamaica “brand” to a level never seen before.
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The International Mothers of Distinction (IMOD) award was created
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Oct 07 2010
Posted: under "A Scripture A Day Keeps The Devil Away", "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something".
Tags: blessings, Christ, comfort, cure, day, God, healing, heart, Jesus, life, Lord, love, psalm, sacrifice, scripture, soul, spirit
Psalm 147:3 – He Heals the Brokenhearted
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He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.
(Psalm 147:3)
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May 02 2010
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: abilities, achievement, choice, desire, difference, dream, family, friends, hope, influence, inspiration, life, parents, principle, sacrifice, success, support, wishes
A man had an operation, and the doctor, by mistake, left a sponge in
him. A friend asked him if he had any pain because of it. “No,” said
the man, “but I sure do get thirsty.”
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Isn’t it wonderful when we get thirsty - not for water, but thirsty
to chase a dream or to do something different? I think it is those
people who crave something with an unquenchable thirst who, in the
end, are likely to be most satisfied with their lives.
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Author Napoleon Hill said, “Desire is the starting point of all
achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire
