Posted: under Nasty and Rude Jokes.
Tags: accident, age, beauty, bliss, check, cheer, classic, color, colors, destination, duty, election, era, funds, funny, government, happiness, highway, hilarious, history, humor, job, jokes, journey, joy, labor, language, laughter, light, loan, mind, model, money, music, musician, nation, noise, office, path, period, politics, pride, radio, road, salesman, singer, smiles, sound, support, supporter, task, time, tour, tourist, traffic, travel, trip, truck, vehicle, voice, vote, voter, words, work
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I bought a new Chevy Avalanche
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And returned to the dealer yesterday
Because I couldn’t get the radio to work.
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The salesman explained that the radio was voice Activated.
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‘Nelson,’ the salesman said to the radio.
The radio replied, ‘Ricky or Willie?’
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‘Willie!’ he continued and ‘On The Road Again’
Came from The speakers.
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Then he said, ‘Ray Charles!’, and in an instant ‘
Georgia On My Mind’ replaced Willie Nelson.
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I drove away happy, and for the next few days, Every
Time I’d say, ‘Beethoven,’
.
I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said,
Beatles,’ I’d get one of their awesome songs.
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Yesterday, some guy ran a red light
And nearly creamed my new truck,
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Feb 23 2012
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: boss, check, duty, employee, employer, experience, funds, funny, goodness, hilarious, job, jokes, labor, manager, money, salesman, task, wife, work
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A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big “everything under one roof” department store looking for a job. The Manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”
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The kid says,”Yeah. I was a salesman back in North Dakota.” Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and See how you did.” His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.
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After the store was locked up the boss came down. “How many customers bought something from you today? The kid says, “One”.
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The boss says, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?” The kid says, “$101,237.65″.
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The boss says, “$101,237.65?” What the heck did you sell?” The kid says, “First I sold him a
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Mar 17 2010
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", Inspirationals.
Tags: airline, attendant, belief, career, children, courage, creativity, customer, flight, fun, happiness, heart, imagination, inspiration, job, joy, life, occupation, passenger, pilot, plane, salesman, security, service, smiles, spouse, success, voice, wife
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Plato said that work should be play. Some airline employees are
taking him seriously. After landing, one flight attendant announced,
“Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed
giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”
(I like the honest approach.)
..
As a plane touched down and was slowing to a stop in Washington, a
lone voice came over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella. WHOA!” (Who
says you can’t have fun with your job?)
..
One pilot made this weather announcement: “Weather at our
destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they’ll try
to have them fixed before we arrive.”
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“As you exit the plane,” a flight attendant said, “please make sure
to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be
distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave
children or spouses.”
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And passengers reported that they heard this from the crew just as
.
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Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: bank, chance, check, cold, color, control, dad, day, duty, father, father-in-law, food, friends, funds, funny, humor, ice, idea, job, jokes, language, laughter, light, man, Mathematics, money, others, pilot, salesman, smiles, snow, star, summer, task, television, vehicle, winter, woman, words, work
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
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Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they already know there is not enough money?
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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
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Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
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Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
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Apr 24 2009
Posted: under Advice & Tips.
Tags: advice, boss, employee, employer, job, man, manager, money, policy, protection, salesman, service, task, tips, woman, work
5 Reasons to Avoid Liquidation Sales
ByJeffrey Strain
There are bound to be a large number of store liquidation sales this year, but you’d be smart to skip them.
…..
Circuit City recently announced it had hired liquidators to sell off its inventory. While you might think this is a great time to find deals, the truth is that liquidation sales offer few bargains. Keep these facts in mind before spending your hard-earned money.
You don’t need it: If you heard about a liquidation sale where a company is selling some type of gadget and now you find yourself wanting one, you did exactly what the liquidator wanted you to do. If you really wanted the gadget, it would have been on your list, after all.
The first rule of smart shopping is that, if you don’t need it, it’s not a bargain no matter what the price. Liquidation sales are a good way to convince yourself that a want is within reach, and therefore a need.
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Jan 22 2009
Posted: under Jamaican Jokes.
Tags: bar, beer, boss, brandy, champagne, dialect, drunk, duty, employee, employer, experience, fish, fishing, funny, gin, highway, hilarious, home, House, humor, husband, Jamaica, Jamaican, job, jokes, journey, Kingston, labor, language, laughter, liquor, man, manager, office, patois, pub, road, rum, salesman, scotch, smiles, supervisor, task, tequila, tour, tourist, travel, trip, vernacular, vodka, whiskey, wife, wine, words, work
A young man from Jamaica moves to Miami and goes to a big Department
shopping complex looking for a job. The manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”
The Jamaican young man says. “Bossie, mi was a salesman back home on di streets a Kingston.”
Well, the boss liked him so he gave him the job. “You start tomorrow.
I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.”
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. “How many sales did you make today?”
Read More
Jan 04 2009