Posted: under Dumb Blonde Jokes.
Tags: accident, age, blonde, brunette, car, cemetery, devil, era, exam, exercise, fool, funny, ghost, Heaven, history, humor, idiot, jokes, language, laughter, Mathematics, moron, perception, period, redhead, satan, smiles, sound, stairs, stairway, stupid, test, time, vehicle, voice, words
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A blonde, A brunette, and a red-head all died in a car crash, and they all went to heaven at the same time.
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They arrive at the gates of heaven, when God appears and tells them they must pass a laughter test, if they fail, they will be sent to hell.
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The objective was to climb 100 stairs without laughing. Each stair will have it’s own joke.
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The Brunette goes first, and laughs at the 46th stair.
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Mar 06 2010
Posted: under "A Scripture A Day Keeps The Devil Away", "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Inspirational Poetry.
Tags: anxiety, assurance, beacon, belief, blessings, bliss, boy, bridge, burden, Christ, cloud, clouds, comfort, Comforter, control, courage, cross, crown, depression, destination, destiny, devil, exam, eyes, faith, force, future, garden, girl, glory, God, goodness, gratitude, happiness, heart, highway, hope, humanity, humility, inspiration, insurance, journey, joy, King, lake, life, lifestyle, lifetime, light, load, man, mercy, might, need, needs, obedience, ocean, others, pain, path, peace, perfection, plan, plans, pond, pool, power, promise, quiz, Redeemer, redemption, rivers, road, satan, sea, season, sheep, shepherd, show, son, storm, stream, strength, stress, struggles, success, sunshine, test, thankfulnesss, thorn, thorns, torch, tour, travel, trial, trials, tribulation, trip, victory, water, woman, worries, worry
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There are seasons of life and sufferings of the heart
that God will allow for His own;
Where the pain is almost too heavy to bear
for the garden of tears that are sown.
But little do we know about the future itself
other than Christ will hold tight to the redeemed.
And that God will have a way of always being faithful
no matter how hard that it seemed.
For He brings us through trials to test our faith
and filter off what doesn’t belong.
In the end we realize that God is truly God
and our weakness is what makes us strong.
God brings us through hardships that threaten to break us
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, anger, art, artist, attorney, bank, blood, brain, brunette, cemetery, child, children, class, classroom, color, colors, commandment, commandments, dad, devil, doctor, duty, era, exam, exercise, eyes, family, father, fish, fishing, food, fruit, fruits, funds, funny, ghost, girl, granny, gynecologist, hair, hell, history, home, honor, House, humor, job, jokes, labor, language, laughter, lawyer, legs, lesson, loan, lunch, Mathematics, money, mother, mother-in-law, noise, nun, obituary, pencil, period, photos, physician, quiz, reading, reason, sandwich, satan, school, smiles, snack, snacks, sound, specialist, sugar, Sunday, surgeon, tablecloth, task, teacher, test, time, treats, voice, water, words, work
Reason 1
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.”
The teacher asked, ” What if Jonah went to hell?”
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.
Reason 2
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”
The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”
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Apr 19 2009
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, bar, beer, brandy, cemetery, champagne, devil, drunk, funny, ghost, gin, hell, hilarious, humor, jokes, laughter, liquor, rum, satan, scotch, smiles, tequila, vodka, whiskey, wine
One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. Walking around, he runs into the devil.
Devil: Why are you so sad?
Guy: Why do you think? I’m in hell.
Devil: Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin’ man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Devil: Well you’re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Diet Tab. We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more.
Guy: Gee, that sounds great.
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Apr 03 2009
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "LOVE is LOVELY", Inspirationals.
Tags: accident, age, aid, aim, air, anger, assistance, bird, cemetery, children, Christ, concentration, creek, dad, devil, dinner, duck, duty, embrace, era, exam, eyes, family, farmer, father, fish, fishing, flight, focus, forgiveness, ghost, girl, goal, God, grand-dad, granny, history, home, House, hug, hugs, inspiration, Jesus, job, knowledge, labor, lake, land, life, lifestyle, lifetime, Little Johnny, love, lovingkindness, lunch, memories, memory, mother, mother-in-law, nature, obituary, ocean, parents, period, play, pond, practice, quiz, rivers, satan, sea, sin, sins, smiles, snack, snacks, surprise, task, test, time, tool, tools, trick, vision, whisper, wind, window, woods, work
There was a little boy visiting his grandparents
on their farm. He was given a slingshot
to play with, out in the woods.
He practiced in the woods, but he could never
hit the target. Getting discouraged,
he headed back to dinner.
. . .
As he was walking back, he saw Grandma’s
pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let fly,
hit the duck square in the head
and killed it. He was shocked and grieved.
In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile,
only to see his sister watching.
Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.
Jan 26 2009
Posted: under "A Slice Of Life", "LOVE is LOVELY", "When You're Down to Nothing God's UP to Something", Inspirationals.
Tags: age, army, attention, baby, bell, birthday, bliss, car, celebration, cemetery, chance, cheer, child, Christ, christmas, coffee, cold, companion, company, compassion, cop, couple, day, devil, diamond, dinner, doctor, duty, elderly, family, food, fool, gas, ghost, gift, God, gunman, hand, happiness, heart, holiday, holidays, home, House, humor, husband, idiot, inspiration, jacket, Jesus, jewelry, job, journey, joy, King, language, laughter, leather, life, light, Lord, love, man, medication, medicine, memories, military, money, morning, moron, office, officer, others, pants, paramedics, partner, path, patrolman, phone, physician, plane, policeman, present, rain, reason, ring, road, robber, satan, Savior, season, seniors, sheriff, sin, smiles, snow, son, sound, specialist, spirit, spouse, station, stranger, stupid, surgeon, surprise, task, thief, thought, touch, traffic, travel, trooper, truck, trust, vehicle, water, wealth, winter, woman, words, work, worth, youth
This will really touch your heart.
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This story is a little long but worth the time to read it!
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Happy New Year!!
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The old man sat in his gas station on a cold Christmas Eve. He hadn’t been anywhere in years since his wife had passed away. It was just another day to him. He didn’t hate Christmas, just couldn’t find a reason to celebrate.
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He was sitting there looking at the snow that had been falling for the last hour and wondering what it was all about when the door opened and a homeless man stepped through. Instead of throwing the man out, Old George as he was known by his customers, told the man to come and sit by the heater and warm up. “Thank you, but I don’t mean to intrude,” said the stranger. “I see you’re busy, I’ll just go.” “Not without something hot in your belly.” George said. He turned and opened a wide mouth Thermos and handed it to the stranger. “It ain’t much, but it’s hot and tasty, “Stew … Made it myself. When you’re done, there’s coffee and it’s fresh.”
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