Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: alcohol, attention, bar, beer, bishop, brandy, champagne, church, decision, devil, drunk, evil, exam, example, eyes, focus, funny, gin, Heaven, hell, hilarious, humor, jokes, language, laughter, legs, liquor, listening, man, minister, noise, others, pastor, perception, pope, preacher, priest, pub, quiz, reverend, rum, satan, scotch, sermon, sleep, smiles, sound, Sunday, surprise, tequila, test, vodka, voice, vote, voter, whiskey, wine, wishes, woman, words
.
A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the
Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling hung
over and tired, he finally nods off.
.
The priest has been watching him all along, noticing his
apparent hangover and is disgusted. At the end of the sermon,
the preacher decides to make an example of him.
.
He says to his congregation, “All those wishing to have a place
in heaven, please stand.”
.
The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man.
.
Then the preacher says even more loudly, “And he who would like
Read More
Feb 23 2012
Posted: under Inspirational Poetry, Inspirationals.
Tags: advice, age, alcohol, bar, beer, belief, bliss, brandy, care, cemetery, champagne, cloud, clouds, color, colors, community, concern, courage, dream, drunk, duty, earth, era, eyes, faith, feeling, fire, friends, friendship, ghost, gin, global, globe, happiness, history, hope, inspiration, job, joy, kindness, labor, language, life, link, liquor, love, man, moment, morning, music, neighbor, neighborhood, new year, others, party, perception, period, pub, rum, scotch, strength, task, tequila, time, tips, universe, video, vision, voice, whiskey, wine, wishes, woman, words, work, world
“Happy New Year“
.
Happy new year
Happy new year
May we all have a vision now and then
Of a world where every neighbour is a friend
Happy new year
Happy new year
May we all have our hopes, our will to try
If we don’t we might as well lay down and die
You and I
Read More
Jan 02 2012
Posted: under "DID YOU KNOW", Advice & Tips.
Tags: advice, age, alcohol, aroma, beer, brandy, champagne, christmas, cold, direction, directions, duty, eggnog, eggs, era, food, fragrance, gin, glasses, hands, holiday, ice, ingredient, ingredients, instruction, instructions, job, labor, liquor, Mathematics, milk, perfume, period, recipe, rum, scotch, season, service, snow, sugar, task, taste, tequila, time, tips, tool, tools, treats, vodka, weight, whiskey, wine, winter, work
.
This favorite holiday drink is easier to make than you think; simply simmer together heavy cream, sugar, and nutmeg, then gradually combine with eggs in the blender.
.
Serves 4 | Hands-On Time: 05m | Total Time: 20m
.
Ingredients
.
2 cups heavy cream
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
4 large eggs
3/4 cup brandy
.
Directions
.
1. In a medium saucepan, bring the heavy cream, sugar, and nutmeg just to a simmer.
Read More
Dec 26 2011
Posted: under Short Funny Jokes.
Tags: accident, alcohol, attorney, bar, beer, bliss, bus, car, champagne, chance, check, cold, companion, couple, court, day, diet, drunk, eyes, family, funny, gin, hands, happiness, health, hilarious, home, House, humor, husband, ice, jokes, journey, joy, judge, language, laughter, lawyer, licence, license, liquor, man, Mathematics, money, morning, New York, partner, path, pub, rain, recipe, road, rum, scotch, season, short, smiles, snow, spouse, tequila, time, traffic, travel, truck, vehicle, vodka, weather, whiskey, wife, wine, winter, woman, words
Add a teaspoon of it
To your diet each day
.
.
My sister said its so cold where she is
that she saw a lawyer with his hands
in his own pockets……..brrrrrrr!
><><
Its been said that 95% of drivers skidding on snow slickened roads say,
”Oh my God”. The other 5% are from Buffalo, NY and say,
Read More
Oct 29 2011
Posted: under Funny and Hilarious Jokes.
Tags: age, alcohol, attorney, bar, beer, brain, champagne, companion, couple, court, drunk, elderly, exam, fool, funny, gin, granny, hilarious, humor, husband, idiot, jail, jokes, judge, language, laughter, law, lawyer, liquor, man, moron, mother, mother-in-law, office, partner, practice, relationship, rules, rum, scotch, seniors, smiles, spouse, tequila, test, vodka, voice, whiskey, wife, wine, woman, words, youth
. . . Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. . .
.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.’
..
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?’ ..
She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal
Read More
Jun 21 2011
Posted: under "Jamaica Labrish ~ Louise Bennett".
Tags: age, beauty, British, culture, custom, dialect, English, era, eyes, feeling, feelings, heritage, history, honor, humor, Irish, Jamaica, Jamaican, labrish, language, laughter, lifestyle, man, Mathematics, Miss Lou, music, originality, others, patois, period, pride, respect, scotch, smiles, spring, time, understanding, vernacular, woman, words
.
Louise Bennett (Miss Lou) 1919-2006
.
“Bans O’ Killing” , 1944
.
So yuh a de man, me hear bout!
Ah yuh dem sey dah-teck
Whole heap o’ English oat sey dat
Yuh gwine kill dialect!
..
Meck me get it straight Mass Charlie
For me noh quite undastan,
Yuh gwine kill all English dialect
Or jus Jamaica one?
..
Ef yuh dah-equal up wid English
Language, den wha meck
Yuh gwine go feel inferior, wen
It come to dialect?
..
Ef yuh kean sing “Linstead Market”
An “Wata come a me y’eye”,
Yuh wi haffi tap sing “Auld lang syne”
An “Comin thru de rye”.
..
Dah language weh yuh proad o’,
Weh yuh honour and respeck,
Po’ Mass Charlie! Yuh noh know sey
Dat it spring from dialect!
..
Dat dem start fe try tun language,
From de fourteen century,
Five hundred years gawn an dem got
More dialect dan we!
..
Yuh wi haffe kill de Lancashire
De Yorkshire, de Cockney